Blue Mood

I haven't been feeling exactly 100% lately, so that might be one of the reasons why I'm feeling kind of blue.  My emotions are running kind of close to the surface, which is another reason why I'm a little funky.

A weird thing happened at Price Chopper today.  Kitty and I had gone to the deli counter to purchase cold cuts (Boar's Head is expensive but it's awesome!) and there was a lady ahead of us with her daughter in the cart.  The little girl was maybe 14 months old or so, dressed in silver slippers, pink socks, white fuzzy pajamas with pink amd blue polka dots and she had a pacifier in her mouth.  She was adorable!  Kitty mentioned how cute she was and the mother smiled and asked her little girl if she could say hi to the nice ladies.  She looked at us for a moment, then gave one of those heart-melting smiles around her pacifier and said "hi".

Kitty remarked again how cute the child was and then went to place her order with the clerk.  But I stayed back and watched the mother and child for another moment.  I noticed the love between the two of them, and I also noticed the beautiful diamond engagement ring and wedding band.  Of course these two "belonged" to someone who loved them.  I noticed the fresh fruits and veggies in their cart and the other healthy foods.

And then a wave of melancholy washed over me; because it seems like that had never been me.  I have 2 beautiful daughters, but I raised them alone.  I have no beautiful diamond ring set and none on the horizon.  And I can't buy all of the fresh fruits and veggies I want unless i budget very carefully...

Also, I would have loved to have more children.  Between Brie and Kitty, I lost a baby.  And after I left my husband, there was only 1 person that I would have loved to marry and have a baby with, but that didn't work out.  Then some necessary surgery took the choice of having any more children away from me.

But now that I've had my pity party, I'm feeling better.  As Kitty says: Pumpkin is my "baby".  As a matter of fact, my "baby" is laying on  my bed right now, with one eye open, trying to tell me telepathically that it's time for bed.  I think she's right.

So goodnight for now; and maybe tomorrow I'll grace you with another poem.  Hopefully that thought doesn't frighten you too much :-)