What They're Missing

 I received the local obituaries in my inbox this morning as I always do, for some reason. Maybe because last year, being late to the party, I found out that a friend of mine had died from covid several months ago, and I was devastated that I hadn't known so I could have reached out to the family. Hence my every morning delivery.

Anyhoo, when I opened them the first name that I saw was very familiar, although I didn't personally know the gentleman. He had died Thanksgiving morning surrounded by his loving family. Reading through, I realized that yes: he was the grandfather of a good friend of mine who was mentioned as a survivor of the deceased. So I sent him a quick text expressing my condolences. I was rather shocked at what I received back:

"Thank you. I don't even know him. I never even talked to the guy. He must be a real big piece of crap to not wanna have even met me. How did you hear that he died?" Hmm...apparently the grandfather wasn't surrounded by all of his family when he died; but just the loving ones indeed! 

I was getting ready to text him when he called me. I told him I had seen the obituary. Nope: no one had told him or his father that the man had died on Thanksgiving, no less. He wanted to tell his father before anyone else beat him to it. I said, "You really never met him?" He replied, "Nope, and now I don't have to worry about meeting him. I'm not sure how heaven and hell work. But I hope wishes can send someone to hell, because I hope he's there and his wife goes with him."

Listening between the lines, I realized there was a lot of hurt there. To know that your grandfather was local, but never wanted to meet you. And I'm pretty sure I deduced why...

First of all, I love my friend. He is funny and charming and business smart. We get together periodically and always have the best time and the best laughs. And he tells me everything. So thinking about how his family represents itself in public, I knew why the grandfather didn't want to meet him. It's because he is half Mexican, and that "sullies" the bloodline.

You would think that in this day and age, something like that would be considered ridiculous. But no: it still happens and could be generational with the grandfather. His father and mother haven't been together in many years, but the family still wasn't approving of this. So they ended up shunning the father and my friend.

That's really a shame because they don't know what they're missing. He is generous and enthusiastic about life and the glass is always half full. He has a great sense of humor and tells the funniest stories. He continuously works to better himself and hurts no one, although I know at times he has been hurt. And he's pretty easy on the eyes!

So it hurts me that he has an entire side of his family that dismisses him for a lame-ass reason. It isn't my place to say who this incredible young man is, but I'm going to pray a blessing for him. He knows I am always there for him. And I will pray that he rises above the bitterness, hurt and anger because he's better than that and better than the haters. The people in his life that love him, like me, are his family. And I'm going to get him to church so he doesn't really wish people to go to hell. Thankfully, God takes care of that. 🙏

Time Loop

 I have a friend that means a lot to me. We met in 2005, and became the unlikeliest of friends.  To be honest: there were times when we were not friends. However, we always made our way back to each other.

We worked for the same company but in different cities. When my job took me to the western part of the state, we usually arranged to see each other. It was always nice to see him in person instead of calling or texting or emailing.

We were casually texting in May when he dropped a bomb on me. "I have cancer."

You want to talk about hitting a brick wall...I was stunned. "What can you tell me? Are you okay?" He is not. After more testing, he informed me that it had metastasized, it is inoperable and he is getting a series of chemo shots. 

It was very hard for me to wrap my head around. He is so full of life, 6'5" tall and always so big and vibrant with a quirky sense of humor that you had to be quick to keep up with. I adore my friend and can't imagine him suffering or not being here. We only talked about it a little bit and I told him I would pray for him. He appreciated that.

Fast forward two months later and I get this text: "Today is attorney day. Have to take care of some stuff." That was the second brick wall I hit. That's something  you do when you don't expect to be here a whole lot longer. That was the one that made it all clear to me: I was eventually going to lose him. And the weird thing was: that morning, before I woke up, I actually had a dream that involved his attorney. That might have been why his news was so scary for me.

I had to see him. But whenever I would ask, he would put me off. Or send me a picture. He's lost so much weight, but even though his face is so much thinner: it's still a face that I love.

I worry about him so much. But he doesn't want that.

I haven't been sleeping well, as you can imagine. A couple of weeks ago I got up for work and started my usual routine. When I came out of the bathroom, I looked at the DVR clock. It said 7:02. I was way ahead of schedule so I took a little time with the dogs. I looked at the clock again. It was 7:02. What? I looked at the microwave clock. It said 7:08. I looked back at the DVR. 7:02. Back to the microwave: 7:02! WTH? Was I in some kind of time loop? It was frightening. I looked back at the DVR: still 7:02. Now the microwave said 7:13, and so did my cell. Shit, I had to get out of there and away from that 7:02!

When I got to work I emailed Brie and told her what had happened. "What do you think was up with that 7:02? Did you notice it?" She hadn't because she wasn't looking at the TV. "I'm sure it's nothing mom." "Okay."

But after those emails it  hit me: was that clock stuck on 7:02 because my friend had died at that time? I immediately texted him: "You need to text me back immediately. I don't care if  you just say hi. TEXT ME." He did not. "Seriously!" No word. Oh snap: was I going to have to call his wife? I was just about to call her when he responded, "I loved the poem you sent me last night." I didn't know whether to be mad or relieved. 

I emailed Brie and she replied, "Yeah...I was afraid of that. I thought he died at 7:02 too. Thank God he's okay because you are not ready." I don't know if I ever will be...

Later that morning she texted this to me:

So that was interesting. But I still was freaked out about it. And I don't do numerology or any of that stuff. However, good to know that at least it's an angel number. And hopefully I won't be stuck in any more time loops!