What Made Her Stop Drinking

 Just so we're clear: Brie gave me permission to write this post. It happened several years ago after she returned from living in Washington State.

Once upon a time, Brie was quite the partier. She had a group of friends who loved to go out drinking and dancing pretty much every weekend, and sometimes on Thursday nights too. I was rather worried about this behavior: but she was an adult and I couldn't dictate her actions. She said as long as she was working and taking care of her other responsibilities, it was all good. I didn't really believe this, but again: she was an adult.

Apple picking season rolled around and Kitty wanted to go. The Saturday she picked was unseasonably warm, but I said we could go even though it was late in the season. I didn't feel like driving all the way to Granville to go to Hicks. I told her, "There's a place that's closer that we can go to." I named a place off of exit 13S. "Is it a nice place? Do they have cider donuts?" Kitty asked. "I've never been there but I've passed it and I'm sure they do," I said optimistically. "Okay."

Since apple picking was a family affair, I proceeded to march up the stairs to wake up Brie, who had probably rolled in around daybreak. "Get up! We're going apple picking!" I bellowed into her room. This was greeted with a loud hungover groan. "Why do I have to go?" "Because it's a family affair. Get up and let's go!"

She finally appeared downstairs, looking a lot the worse for wear. "Okay I'm here. Stop yelling and let's get this over with." Kitty was all excited, not noticing her sister's disheveled and sorry looking state. We got in the car and were on our way!

A word to the wise: before you go to a new orchard, you really need to check it out ahead of time. We turned in and were greeted with signs that pointed to where different apple trees were, where to pay, what was do-it-yourself (which turned out to be everything!) and where the store was. Now, this would have been okay except that the place was deserted: like a ghost town. Where were the customers? Undaunted,  I read the sign that told us how to tell which tree had which kind of apples, and proceeded to drive into the "orchard". 

We felt better once we saw another car. So that made two families there that day. Hmm...Regardless, we parked in the middle of the orchard, got out our bags, and tried to wake up Brie who had passed out in the backseat. Sighing with annoyance, I gave up, locked her in the car with the window partially rolled down and Kitty and I commenced to apple picking.

Or what would have been apple picking, if there had been any apples! We caught up with the other family, who was also wandering around with empty bags and bewildered looks on their faces. We looked at the markings of the trees for the apples we wanted, but you couldn't see the markings and seriously: what apples? As we pondered this, I had no idea of what was happening with Brie...

Apparently Brie finally realized that the car had stopped moving, and she was hot and sweaty since the sun was beating down on the car in the open field. "Where are we?" she asked, but no one answered. She groggily sat up, and there was no one in the car. She looked out her window and saw nothing familiar. Where was her family? Had the trumpet blew and she missed the Rapture? She got out of the car to see if she could ascertain where she was. As she pondered the disappearance of everyone but her, she heard something. Looking around, this is what she saw and I cannot make this stuff up:

There was a black man, shirtless, wearing overalls. He had a cloth bag slung over his shoulder and he appeared to be picking sweet potatoes out of the ground. He had what could have been an ox with huge horns pulling a cart behind him. And of course: he was singing an old spiritual. The ox gave her a curious look. As you can imagine: this sight did not bring any comfort to Brie. She jumped back into the car and locked the doors because she had no idea where she was or her family. She didn't know what else to do! 

After talking to the other family, we all decided to cut our losses and leave, since there were no apples to be found. It was hot and I was not in the mood for nonsense. When we got within sight of the car, we could see Brie's little face in the window and her hands were on the glass as she stared. When she saw us I could see her mouth moving but of course couldn't hear her. Then when I got closer: oh I heard her! "Where were you? Where are we? Why did you leave me in the car alone?? Do you see a man picking sweet potatoes or am I hallucinating? I thought it was the second coming and I'd been left!"  This was slightly alarming, but when I turned and saw the man, I had to laugh as it wasn't a sight usually seen in these parts. "Get in the car Laffy McLafferton!"

We did. "Where are the apples?" Kitty replied, "There weren't any. Can we go up to the store and get some donuts?" I drove up to the store, where again there was no one there, and some donuts were in bags on the counter. "Hey, no fresh ones?" Kitty was indignant. "This isn't anything like Hicks! No apples and no fresh donuts. We are never coming here again!" We bought one small bag just to sample (honor system with a wooden box), and you can imagine how they were. We dropped the bag into the trash on our way out. "Tragic waste," Kitty muttered.

Brie was quiet on the way home, deep in thought. When we were inside and Kitty had gone off to tell her dolls about the wasted trip, Brie finally said, "That was crazy." "Yes it was," I agreed. "And if this is the second time you thought it was the second coming and you missed it, you might want to re-evaluate your life." "Yeah...when I woke up and there was no one but maybe an imaginary black man looking like the guy from Green Mile and singing...it just might be time to cut back on the drinking." "You think???"

And she did! She would still go out occasionally, but I think that experience really gave her something to think about. When you think you're hallucinating and it turns out to be real: that will certainly give you pause. Now she might have a glass of wine if she goes out to dinner or something, but getting drunk isn't on her to-do list at all. For that I am thankful!

The New Bachelorette Is...

 Unintentionally I found myself sucked into watching the latest "Bachelor" season. I hadn't meant to, because I had no clue why this particular man was chosen when he only made it to eighth place on the "Bachelorette". But one night Brie wasn't home and I didn't want to watch RAW so I tuned in about four episodes in, and was hooked because it was a train wreck, as usual. So formulaic! Each season they say, "This is the most dramatic show in the history of the franchise! Stay tuned for the most shocking finale in the history of the franchise!" And at the end of the day: it isn't really. Granted, on this show, the big lug told the two women he slept with in the Fantasy Suite that he was in love with them, and you're not supposed to do that. He also told them that he slept with each of them. Might not want to do that either! Then got mad at the third woman because she was upset that he told her he loved her, yet still slept with the other two and told them he was falling in love with them! Gee Susie: can't understand why you're mad when he loves you the most! And you could see it a mile away that he was going to end up with no one, which is what happened. Until the most shocking ending in Bachelor history happened: and Susie showed up at After the Final Rose to say she and Clayton were together and in love! Boo to that. And the two women he threw over are the new Bachelorettes and doing a season together. That only makes sense because they are BFFs now. Insert eye roll.

Anyhoo, if the network really wanted to give the audience something different, then the next Bachelorette should be...ME! That's right: I'd give them a season they'd never forget. And it would go a little something like this:

First of all, I have no idea how these contestants are able to get 2 months or more off from work without losing their jobs, unless they lost them before going on TV and are looking for a place to stay. After all, some shady and lascivious stuff happens on those shows. Now I don't want to lose all of my PTO being on this show, so they'd have to shoot around my work schedule. And that means we're not shooting at some high-end resort: nope, the contestants will have to stay at the Queensbury Hotel or the Georgian, which are nice local hotels. Dates will have to take place after my work day is done, and on the weekends.

So the first night I'd be all dolled up waiting for the limos to arrive. And here's how we're going to shorten the season: when each man steps out of the limo, if he is wearing one of those tight skinny suits with his ankles showing and dress shoes with no socks: he can turn around and get right back into that same limo. I despise that look. So that will eliminate some men right away. And if you're wearing some crazy costume to be funny or you think that's cute: you're gone too. I didn't get all dolled up for you to dress like a Viking.

Now I'm in the hotel with the lucky ones who made it inside. If you "steal me for a minute" (I hate that expression) and try to kiss me: you're out. I don't know you from Adam and I have no idea where your mouth has recently been. If you spend the evening drinking and bromancing, you're also out. Are you there to make friends or there for me, the grand prize? And for the record: I don't drink so your ability to outdrink the other gentlemen will not impress me. Now I don't have so many roses to hand out and will keep the extras for myself.

Don't expect fancy dates and such: we're on a time crunch. So no helicoptering off and such. That will have to wait until the weekend, if you're still there by then. We could do a Lake George cruise on the Lac, a hot air balloon ride, go horseback riding: that kind of thing. And when we go on a one on one and it's dinnertime: that dinner had better be edible. Have you noticed that they sit at this beautifully set table, but there's never any food? I want a nice meal! When (or if!) I give you that rose at the end of the date and we go into another room and there's one of my favorite musicians / singers (Sting? Chris Botti? Slim Man?), you'd better know how to really slow dance. None of this turning in a circle business, otherwise I might take the rose away! Or I might leave with Chris Botti and then the season is over.

On the group dates, we might have to go to Skyzone or Extreme sports or something like that and you all can use your testosterone and flex your muscles and compete for my affection, or the group date rose. If anyone gets too aggressive and purposely hurts someone though: you're out. Bullies don't impress me. Or maybe we could do something fun like have you write a poem or song about me and  perform it. The inexpensive possibilities are endless in upstate New York! And no sleeping in on Sundays: you'll be going to church with me 🙏 If you don't go: you're out.

When it comes down to the final four, I will use a few vacation days to do hometowns. I certainly want to meet families, and I know they will love me! But when it comes to the last three guys, don't expect that Fantasy Suite to go how it usually does. Please: I have a reputation to uphold and why in the world would I want America to know my personal business where something like that is concerned? So plan on conversation and getting to know me that way. And don't forget the dark chocolate covered strawberries! But don't try to feed them to me unless you wash your hands first. I don't know where your hands have been!

When it's time for you to meet my family that will be easy. I'll only subject you to Kitty, Brie and Clancy. Good luck with that!

If you make it to the final two: be prepared to pick a really nice ring to propose to me. Of course I'll get proposed to! I'm a catch! Sorry we didn't get to go to Europe or the Caribbean, but again: I need my vacation time! But back to the ring: I already have a beautiful Neil Lane diamond ring. However, I'll certainly take another one. Emerald or pear please. NO YELLOW GOLD. White gold or platinum band, since ABC is footing the bill. 😊 Thank you.

Of course, there's a good chance no one will make it until the end because I'm picky. Or neither one will want to propose because I did all filming within a hundred mile radius and didn't sleep with them. But this will really let me know who's in it for me and who just wanted free vacations and liquor.

There you have it. The shortest and most inexpensive Bachelorette season in history. Now that's shocking! 😉

My College Bestie

 When I was attending SUNY Adirondack during the Roaring '20s, I always thought that I'd like to work here. I had no idea in what capacity, but I enjoyed college until one day I decided I didn't and left. But now I've been back for almost four years and enjoying my job, which has nothing to do with my major. But I digress...

On my first day of college, I met this girl who was also in the Radio Broadcasting program. We couldn't have been more different if we tried, and I'm not even talking about skin color. She was an only child, I had four siblings. She lived in the country, I lived in a bigger town. She was into soft rock, country and pop rock. I was into disco and rock. She was into comfy clothes and I dressed up every day. She was mostly a homebody (I remember going to her house to bake chocolate chip cookies) and I loved the night life. Yet somehow: we became best friends.

We have a long history. We hung out a lot during school in the Student Center where we held court with those lucky enough to be allowed into our small circle. We sat in the farthest corner on the right as you entered, by the windows. Best seats in the house to watch people! Now, whenever I go through the Student Center, I can still "feel" the ghosts of us in there during breaks from class.

When I made the mistake of moving to Long Island, she was the only one that consistently "found" me during my lost years and and kept in touch. And when I finally came back home for good: she was one of the first ones I saw.

Lynne has always been one of my biggest supporters. She was the first one to buy one of my books. Through all of my less than stellar relationships: she was right there, with her solid marriage firmly in her back pocket. She's a great mother, a great wife and a great friend. She gets my sense of humor. She trusts me as I trust her. And we love to go out to eat, to catch up and mostly laugh! It really is good for the soul.

She is also one of those good friends where you aren't friends just because you "know where the bodies are buried", but because your life is better with this person in it. Thankfully, we have laughed more than cried, our children are raised and doing okay, and we still enjoy each other's company. And when I'm funky and we don't get together, she keeps at me until I do agree to dinner or lunch and it is always a good time! Seriously: why does she put up with me and my creative mood swings???

Of course, nothing is perfect. I've gone through my times of not being in touch, and one time I wasn't talking to her but I don't think she realized it. It was when I didn't get invited to her daughter's wedding. But I got over it because it isn't always about me.

I could certainly go on and on, but suffice it to say I am so happy that Lynne has been such a constant in my life. We met for dinner yesterday evening at the Peppermill and it was like always: good food, good conversation and laughter! Not all conversations are funny or light: there was a little bit of sadness there too. However: we are always there for each other. That's the true beauty of this friendship.

Thanks for always being there Lynne. I'm glad we're on this ride together!

It's Not That Difficult!

 I adore my new co-workers. Every Friday they all have lunch together in the cafeteria, and I'm included. Sometimes I go, sometimes weather keeps me at my desk. Sometimes they order out and Chris usually goes to get it. I'm all about that!

This past Friday was our Spring Break day off, so on Thursday the guys decided to order out from New Way Lunch. This is the "famous" place known for its hot dogs with amazing meat sauce. I'm told it's amazing: I've never tried it. But people all over the country would order it and my friends rave about it (and so does Kitty!) so it must be true. But I digress...

So Thursday Chris had us go online so we could all order together. I looked at all the food everyone else was getting; then added my order for some cheddar broccoli soup with extra crackers and a hot dog with just light mustard. I was asked, "Are you sure that's all you want?" "Yes!" Then I waited gleefully for it to arrive since I hadn't had breakfast.

 When he returned and placed all the orders on the table next to my desk: everything smelled delicious! I don't mind the smell of the meat sauce because it does smell good. But it's too much for me. Anyhoo, the names were on the bags and Chris handed me this lovely paper bag with handles. I looked inside and then took out the contents. Soup with extra crackers: yes! Hot dog with just a little mustard: no! My hot dog had everything on it, including extra onions! I was so unhappy. I had the easiest order of the bunch! I had typed my order in carefully! How difficult could it be to read the order? I sighed, gave the extra hot dog away and had the soup. Ugh!

Saturday after taking Kitty to the gym, she wanted to go to the drive-thru of New Way Lunch for a hot dog. I figured this was a good time for them to redeem themselves for Thursday's debacle. So I went to the window, ordered three with the works and one with just a little mustard. I heard the guy yell back, "Four, one with just a little mustard!" That pleased me. I paid and drove up to the delivery window. 

After just a tiny wait, a guy came to the window and said, "Here are your large fries!" "Um...we didn't order any fries. We had four hot dogs." "Oh I'm sorry: just a minute!" He ducked back inside and presently handed me the to-go box. I took it, opened it, and there were four hot dogs with the works inside! "Excuse me!" I called, "I requested four hot dogs, one with just a little mustard!" "Oh, I'm sorry," the guy said, looking confused as he took the box back. Why was he confused? He was the one that took my order!

Finally another gentleman came to the window with my just-mustard hot dog in a little bag, and he gave the other box back and said we could keep the extra one. Now that really pleased Kitty! I ate my hot dog on the way home.

I think that they are pretty much on auto pilot at that place, because how many people do you think roll through and just want a little mustard? Yeah I know: another first world problem, when there are so many real issues going on. Trust me: I pray for those situations!

So I wasn't actually mad at New Way Lunch: just glad I checked the box before driving away!

And Now For Something Different...

 

Haiku, Part 2

You are my best friend.

My broken heart you did mend.

We’re friends to the end.

Whisper in my ear

Words that I’ve waited to hear:

“I love you, my dear.”

Look into my eyes,

Does it come as a surprise?

This will change our lives.

Moonlight touches us

Shifting shadows are a plus,

Kissing both of us.

Take me in your arms,

Let me feel all of your charms.

Inside, my heart warms.

Skin against soft skin

Opening, I let you in.

Our lives now begin.

                   ~~~

Monday With a Vengeance

 Yesterday was Monday; and in case I forgot: it reminded me in spades.

Monday actually started on Sunday night. We thought Lilly was in heat, due to some...what we thought was visual evidence. But that night I noticed that the "visual evdence" had gotten bigger and was protruding even more from her backside. My medical training (imaginary) kicked in and I decided that no: this was not a sign of being in heat. So I was going to take her to the vet the next day.

Monday morning rolls around and I called the vet as soon as they opened and told them the issue. They said to drop her off on my way to my MRI. I did.

That brings me to the MRI. Shockingly, I was in their parking lot with a few minutes to spare, even after dropping off Lilly and answering their myriad of questions. So while sitting in the parking lot, I looked at my phone. I had voicemails, which was strange because my phone hadn't even rung. I listened: bill reminder, bill reminder, Spectrum, and then one from the owner of the house I rent. It was over 2 minutes long...and contained some interesting information about our moving out. We are moving out because she sold the house to the business next door. But I digress...

I saved her voicemail to respond to later, and went in. Of course, my doctor's office hadn't faxed over the slip for my MRI. So I had to answer questions and wait until the receptionist called my doctor and told them they couldn't do it until they faxed the paperwork. Luckily, someone was on the ball (not always the case!) and did that right away. Then the tech came for me so I could find out what they could do for the cyst and pain in my wrist and thumb.

I figured it would be a breeze, because this facility had a machine where I'd only have to put my arm in. Yay! So she made me comfy in the chair, had me put my arm in and I figured I would have time for a quick nap. Wrong! She then packed my arm and hand in so it wouldn't move, taped down my fingers, and then spent over 30 minutes zapping my wrist and hand. Trust me: there was no nap but after awhile there was pain. Crap!

When it was finally over, she unpacked me, untaped me and said my doctor would have the results within 24 hours. But surprisingly: my doctor had the results within 4 hours and said there was major inflammation (maybe caused by the cyst pressing on the nerve?) and they were setting me up to have a steroid shot in my wrist while having an ultrasound so they got the shot exactly where it needed to be. Say what??? Hi Monday!

But prior to that, I called the vet before I left the parking lot to check on poor Lilly. Yeah...the protrusion had nothing to do with being in heat. My Lilly had a tumor so big it had come outside of her lady parts. WTH??? They wanted me to pick her up and would discuss options with me. 😭Just another manic Monday!

This put me over the edge a bit so I decided since I was in Saratoga, I would stop at my favorite candy store and buy all the chocolate I could possibly stand, and eat it. I went, and the owner (love you Gene!) wasn't there but his daughter was. As I was picking out my candy we were talking and she got to hear all of my venting about what was going on with me, and my fear for poor Lilly. I mean thank goodness there wasn't anyone else in the shop! But God knew I needed to unload to someone, and she was the perfect person at the time. She even gave me a bit of advice on something, then loaded me up with dark chocolate malted milk balls, dark chocolate almond bark and a big dark chocolate covered marshmallow (for my hot chocolate later). I apologized for talking her ears off but she said she was glad she was there to listen; and glad I felt better. So Monday was looking up...

Until I got to the vet. No good news there at all. Of course she needs surgery to the tune of $2,000, sooner rather than later. She isn't in pain, which is good. But not good that it's so large it came outside. No clue if it's cancerous yet. No idea until they go in if there are more. No infection (thank God!) but she will also get spayed as long as she's already under. They gave me an itemized list of what needed to be done and how much each item would cost. Of course she would need a couple of pre-op procedures too. 😮 They had a cancellation and tentatively scheduled her for March 28th, as it needs to be done sooner rather than later. They told me to think about it for a couple of days, as they also know that I will be moving and $2,000 is a lot of money (for someone like me, anyway).  Then they brought me my Lilly, who was so glad to see me and climbed right up so she could put her face in my hair. She's been doing that since the first time I saw her at 5 months old and adopted her on the spot. My Lilly...Sorry about your Monday too!

I took her home and turned her over to Vivian, who didn't care that her sister was having a Monday. She just wanted treats! She is a tiny hater, seriously. And by now it was after 12:30, I hadn't eaten and didn't really want to. But I had an appointment with my endocrinologist at 3:30, so needed something other than the bag of chocolate I had bought. Around 2, I finally made some scrambled eggs and cheese, accidentally putting heavy cream in them instead of half and half. But they were the best cheese eggs ever!

Thankfully my endo didn't yell at me too much. She reminded me to stop making decisions about my medication on my own, regardless of how well I know my body. She wants me to call her before making any of those decisions. I've lost another 3 pounds which is good, but my A1C went up slightly because I'm making decisions about my medication without consulting her! Yeah, yeah: I've learned my lesson. So now I have to see her again in 3 months instead of 6. Hello Monday, my old friend!

So there you have it: my terrible Monday. But you know what the one consolation is? I didn't eat any of the chocolate I bought. I will at some point, in moderation, but I was strong enough to not need it while all of the chaos and anarchy was going on. I'm going to count that as a win.

Exit Wound

 I was once again cleaning out my personal email. Only 20,000 more to get through, ha ha! I do a search on a product or company and then delete them. Seems quick and easy but it isn't because for some reason old emails with attachments featuring my writing always show up. I don't want to delete these, no matter how old they are. So I have to click on each item individually to make sure I don't delete the wrong thing. But it's mindless and gives me time to think, so it's all good. Well, most of the time!

Anyhoo, as I was doing this I came across an old manuscript entitled "Old Boyfriends". This was a poetry book I wrote 20 years ago, but never published. Instead, I took some of the darker poems and put them in an eBook entitled "Death Becomes You: The Anti-Valentine". But I digress...

I took a couple of minutes to look through this, to see if I could identify the "old boyfriends". I came across one particular poem, read it, and I have no idea who it was about! I racked my brain and came up empty. Weird!

So in honor of this mystery poem about a mystery man: here it is for your reading pleasure...

Exit Wound

I lie here bleeding on the floor; I see you leave: you shut the door.

You didn't lay a hand on me, You killed me metaphorically.

I did everything you asked. I even overlooked your past.

Apparently it's not enough to keep you, hell, love is rough.

I gave up everything for you: my fun, my life: I thought I knew.

You wanted more, there's nothing left. Now I lie here, all bereft.

I happily danced to your tune though you treated me like a buffoon.

You gave me little in return. Now I'm feeling a slow burn.

You really have a lot of gall to make me beg and make me crawl.

Who did you think that you are? A singer, athlete, movie star?

Now that I've had time to think: you always had to have a drink.

You complained an awful lot, and acted like a teen-aged snot.

Just who spoiled you anyway? At your beck and call each day.

She was crazy, as was I. Here's the question: why, why, why???

You're kind of cute but nothing great. A lot of times you showed up late.

Your wardrobe was okay I guess. But sometimes boy, you looked a mess!

You had a job but not much cash. It disappeared in a quick flash.

You didn't always pay my way, and wanted my cash on payday!

I've had a little more time to think. Now I'll pull back from the brink.

What was going through my mind? You're not worth it: you're a swine.

I deserve the very best. That ain't you, you were a pest.

I can see I'm better off. You're not even worth a scoff.

There's one thing I have to do: Call you up and say fuck you!

You don't get the last word here and I won't shed another tear.

I get up and look around. You won't run me in the ground.

Strength and savvy now I find. Now I'll dump your broke behind!

Again: no clue who this was about. But if you read this and recognize yourself: please refresh my memory. Or maybe not!

We Have to Break Up

 As some of you know, many years ago Breyers had an amazing product called Viennetta. It was a scrumptious ice cream log that had crispy chocolate wafers in between the ice cream layers. So delicious! Especially when I would also pour Hershey's dark chocolate syrup over it. Besides vanilla, they also had Cappuccino and Chocolate; and if memory serves Mint too. Oh, be still my heart!

Then of course word got out that I loved this product and they promptly snatched it off the market. I was heartbroken but eventually I got over it (do you believe me?).

Then last year word got to me that Good Humor was taking over and my beloved Viennetta was back on the market! Of course, it was overseas but when I wrote to the company they assured me that eventually it would cross the ocean and get to the states. I waited with baited breath for this magical day to arrive.

I was in my local supermarket at the end of January killing time while I waited for Kitty to complete her shopping. I was a little annoyed because I was tired and wanted to go home. So I was wandering aimlessly, and then decided to check the ice cream aisle to see if they had any Tillamook. I got about a third of the way down the aisle when I happened to look up on the top shelf. I couldn't believe it. Were my eyes deceiving me? Was it a mirage I had somehow brought to life? Sure enough: there were boxes of Viennetta on that top shelf!

I'm sure many people in the store knew I had found Viennetta. I snatched open the freezer door and grabbed two boxes of it. It looked exactly as I remembered! I went through the store, got a bottle of Hershey's dark chocolate syrup and then hurried until I found Kitty. I held both boxes up to her face. "It's VIENNETTA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Looking slightly alarmed she said, "I see." Then I hurried her up to the checkout so we could go home and I could indulge.

Now the first three or five boxes seemed just as I remembered when doused in the syrup. But then I noticed that when I put it back in the freezer and would take it out for another serving the next day, it was kind of crystallized. That was weird. But I figured my freezer was on high so of course that would happen. However, I noticed that if an area didn't have any syrup on it, the taste was a bit different. So maybe after the 8th box or so, I looked at the ingredients...

Aha! I knew it! They had changed it from ice cream to nonfat ice milk! My Viennetta was a fraud! Oh the humanity! Why Good Humor: why??

So it is with great sadness that I announce my breakup with Viennetta. Perhaps the switch to nonfat milk makes healthier but it just isn't the same. At least this time it's on my terms, which makes me feel a bit better. And at least I had my favorite dessert back for just a while. Usually I'm not that lucky! So maybe there's a chance for Pepperidge Farm Mississippi Mud Pie to come back. But only if they don't change the recipe!