So
after over three years of caring for my mother at my house, she is in a really
good nursing home. I just couldn’t provide 24/7 care for her anymore and had to
finally admit defeat. But she is being well taken care of, they have had NO
instances of COVID and she has a wonderful view of the mountains from her room.
That’s the good news.
The
not so good news is that with these years of helping her, especially if she
fell or needed help up from her chair: my left shoulder and low back are jacked
up. When I went to the ortho after I had
new x-rays taken, he showed me the x-ray from 2017 and the new one. “Good
grief, what kind of abuse have you been experiencing?” he asked. “You have bursitis,
calcium deposits, a torn tendon and bone spurs.” Yep: all that damage from
taking care of my mother. And yes: it hurts like a mother! But it’s what you do
for your parent.
Anyhoo,
I’ve been going to PT which I dislike intensely. I have pretty much no range of
motion (without excruciating pain) when I try to reach behind me or raise my
arm past a certain point. So what I like about PT is the heat pack, the ultra
sound and the ice pack at the end. Any actual exercises just make me mad
because it hurts. But I do them to the best of my ability and then go home and
whine to the daughters who roll their eyes and tell me I need to do them.
Haters!
I
recently had an MRI done and the ortho set me up with an appointment to see the
surgeon because he really feels that some arthroscopy to clean up my shoulder
will go a long way towards helping me. I see the surgeon in four weeks. I asked
my ortho how long the healing process is and he said 12 weeks. I said, “Out of
work????” and he said no, I could probably go back to work after 4 to 6 weeks.
Small consolation: that’s all of my vacation and sick time!
So
here’s the reason why I’m not having surgery: because there is no one to take
care of me while I heal. Sure my girls say they will. LIES! And here’s how I
know.
Right
now, since I can’t reach behind me, I cannot unhook my b-r-a. If I ask Kitty to
help me, she looks like she expects me to flash her afterwards. I have to
reassure her that she only has to reach under the back of my shirt and do it.
She is still very squeamish about it and tries to do it without actually
touching me. Sheesh, I changed your
diaper but you don’t want to help me with this small task??
Brie,
on the other hand, acts too happy to
do it. She tries to creep me out by doing the porn music while she’s unhooking
it. She thinks she’s funny but she is not!
At least she gets it done without acting like I have cooties.
When
I am getting dressed I can at least put the b-r-a on backward, hook it, turn it
around and then try to slide the straps over my arms. But I can’t exactly do
the left side so again I have to ask creepy Brie for help. Which involves
waking her up, which is an adventure all by itself. Once I get her cognizant
and coherent she is good about it. The only unfortunate thing is that once I
get my arms in and the straps up, (gentlemen close your eyes for this part)
sometimes all of my naughty bits are in the b-r-a and sometimes they aren’t.
Then I have to do this move that hopefully shakes everything into place.
But
the best part is my hair. I can’t do the left side correctly because I can’t
raise my arm. So again: time to wake up Brie. Sometimes I am successful:
sometimes not so much. She was sleeping on the couch one morning and I said, “Can
you help me with my hair?” “Sure momma.” She then proceeded to not only not
turn her face from the back of the couch: she also just moved her hand in the
air like she was actually touching my
hair. “Brie, you’re supposed to be doing my hair!” “I am momma.” Still waving
her hand in the air. “It looks really nice.” “You haven’t even touched it nor
looked at it!” Still facing the couch: “Yes I did and you look beautiful momma.”
Seriously! I cannot make this stuff up.
At
least the one thing they will do is spray or roll icy hot on me. Not because
they love me: oh no, it’s because they don’t have to touch me. Rude! It isn’t
like I have crocodile skin: my skin is actually quite nice since I take good
care of it. Well, most of it. Sorry left side! Guess I’ll have to keep on with
the PT and maybe consider the arthroscopy
so I can stop torturing the girls into helping their mother.
So
until I can find someone, other than the dogs, to take care of me during a
convalescence: say a prayer for me healing and not needing surgery at all!
