The Official Greeter Greets...

As many of you know, my father passed away in 2004. Knowing the type of man he was, I'm sure that one of his roles in Heaven is to be the Official Greeter, to show newcomers around and familiarize them with their new "home". Recently, he got to greet someone special to me: my friend Rosa.

It isn't my place to go into the details of her passing: I'll sum it up by saying complications from a heart attack.  Sadly, she was taken off of life support on Christmas Day.  It was a very difficult decision, but ultimately the right one considering her circumstance.

Rosa and I became friends approximately 14 years ago working for the same company. We were both single mothers raising two children, had...interesting families that drove us nuts, and bonded over lots of things that women bond over.  We socialized outside of work too: in later years not as often as we would have liked but this didn't interfere with our friendship.

Rosa was one of those women who was tough as nails on the outside, but that only disguised the heart of gold she had on the inside.  She had to be strong for her family, and had to not take any crap from various aspects of her job. But at the end of the day, I don't know anyone who didn't respect Rosa and admire who she was.

Every year my company holds a very nice holiday party for the employees and most years Rosa and I would attend. We'd sit together with her boyfriend Aaron and whomever I'd manage to scare up: my daughter, my best friend David, or whomever, haha. And we always had the best time of any table in the room. This was true because each year we would have people beg us to let them sit with us; and we'd have to carefully orchestrate who got that privilege and who was relegated to table 2, or 3!  Yes, Rosa was a lot of fun and I loved being at these gatherings with her. Let the good times roll!

Last year though, we went to the holiday party and had a terrible time. We didn't like what we wore, we didn't like the venue, we didn't like the food or the deejay. We're just not sure what the problem was but figured part of it was our friend Annette and her husband weren't able to attend.

But this year guess what: Annette and her husband did come, as did Brie! It was the same venue but there was something different in the air: the food was great, the deejay was awesome and they even got me up on the dance floor a few times!  Afterwards we were all talking before we went our separate ways and decided it had been the best holiday party we'd attended in years!  Everybody hugged everybody and we left, This was on December 7th.

I talked to Rosa on Thursday at work, December 19th. Just the usual casual conversation and work talk; and she was excited to have her daughter and new grandbaby home. We were both looking forward to time off over the holidays and to having a Merry Christmas...

But we didn't get the Merry Christmas we were hoping for. Instead, we have a void where Rosa once was. I don't hurt because God wanted her with him. I just hurt for those she left behind, who are devastated and not quite ready to accept that Rosa needed to be with God.  Especially her boyfriend Aaron, who loved her like each one of us dream of being loved.

So Dad: I'm glad that you got to greet Rosa when she arrived. I'm glad that you were with her when she got to see her father again, who died just this summer, and that you got to witness her seeing Jesus face to face.

So when I read the poem "The Mansion In Heaven" at Rosa's funeral on Wednesday, I'll know that one day I will see Rosa in her rightful place in Heaven. I'll know that she's in the arms of the Heavenly Father, who is building mansions for us all.

Aaron and Rosa: I love you both.

Christmas Memories - The Best Present

I have to apologize for being so remiss. I had a lot of posts I wanted to do for Christmas, but due to my hand surgery, typing has been really rough and painful the past few weeks. However, I did want to share with you one of my favorite Christmas stories. I thought of this when a couple of weeks ago Bob and Sheri, on their morning radio show, asked listeners to call in and chat about the best Christmas present they ever gave. This made me think of the best present I ever received:

When I was little my parents, 2 older brothers and I used to travel "down home" to North Carolina a few times a year; but the most special time was always for Christmas vacation.  It was good to see the aunts, uncles, cousins but especially my grandparents.

My grandparents weren't rich: granddaddy was a tobacco farmer, grandma was a seamstress and they lived on a little farm in Chowan County. But when it came to love: that's where their richness came from.

So: I'm a little girl and of course every kid looked forward to their presents on Christmas.  My parents would smuggle our gifts down there so "Santa" would arrive. But my grandparents didn't have the money to buy Santa gifts. However, my grandma always made the grandkids an outfit each for a gift, and we were young enough to enjoy it and wear it.

But that wasn't the best gift.  Even the "Santa" gifts weren't the best gifts. Nope: the BEST gift we'd receive from grandma was always the same every year. And if anyone was forgotten or she miscounted: the neglected one would be heartbroken until they received one.

What was this magical, mystical, fought-over gift that we coveted each year? Believe it or not, it was a little brown paper bag. Inside would be...an apple, an orange, some pecans, almonds,brazils and walnuts in the shell and some hard filled Christmas candy: like Brach's used to make. Granted, sometimes the candy would be sticky and stick to the fruit but we didn't care! It came from grandma's heart. We would eat that fruit and in my case have someone shell the nuts and I'd be soo happy! We looked forward to that little paper bag all year.

Even now I really love those little brown lunch bags that parents used to pack their kids' school lunches in. I smile when I see a pack of them on the bottom shelf of the supermarket. I love Brazil nuts, almonds and walnuts, And I love my grandparents.

They've been gone for many years now, but each Christmas I always take a moment and remember them and that little bag of love.

May your days be merry and bright...

I Am Not A Poet

This isn't the post I planned to write tonight. But since I had hand surgery and can't really type, I'm cheating. So here's another poem (copy and paste is great)!

Don’t tell me your tale of woe about that ‘ho that let you go.

That’s more than I need to know but I won’t say, “I told you so.”

There is not a sadder sight than one who cannot see the light.

Trust me, hold me nice and tight.  Kiss me: let our souls take flight.

 

From your soul there comes a sound, saying that it won’t be bound.

No strings ‘round your heart are wound.  With me, freedom can be found.

Banishing your endless night will take my strength and all my might.

You shouldn’t even try to fight; I’ll make everything all right.

 

Our souls have known each other well.  We’ve been through our own brand of hell.

It was almost a death knell but we survived, as you can tell.

Your power I don’t want to take.  A puppet of you I won’t make.

My feelings for you are not fake.  In you, emotions I’ll awake.

 

The thought of this makes your heart quake.  To love again makes your knees shake.

Please be brave for your own sake: deep emotions are at stake.

On your terms I will agree to have you unconditionally.

What you have to do is see that it’s not I or you: but we.

 

In our hearts our love does shine.  A new relationship’s designed.

Here’s my hand: put yours in mine.  Finally, our course is fine.

Don’t tell me who you used to be.  Just show me what I need to see.

Please don’t be afraid of me: for my love shall set you free.

 
~*~

 

Marie's Birthday

My mother's birthday was Friday, November 16th. I was pretty tired and just wanted to go home after work, but knew I needed to pick up a card for her. Brie was on a time constraint, so after we picked out the cards I dropped her off at our house, got the gifts, and went to Marie's house to make the delivery.  I was missing one of her gifts but figured she wouldn't know anyway because she didn't know what or how much I had gotten for her.

I got to her house and her brother was visiting. I just love Uncle Tom because he's so funny and entertaining! Anyhoo, I went in bearing gifts: candy, her favorite word-search books, her cards. She was so happy! I stayed to visit for a few minutes, and then went home feeling good.  That was day 1.

On Saturday, I went over to her house to pick up Robin for our hair appointment. I went in for a minute to give Marie her big gift: a brand new watch with a gold band and diamonds around the face. "Oh daughter, this is too much." "No it isn't, I know how much you love gold and figured this way you wouldn't keep taking my watches."  "Well I must say: I love this watch and this is the best birthday I've ever had." Then her eyes got big. "You don't suppose this is my last one, do you?" I had to laugh. "No Marie, it isn't your last one. Enjoy your day and I'll see you later." That was day 2.

Today, she didn't go to church because she was a bit under the weather. Plus it was the annual Holiday Parade. So after church I had to stop at Hannaford, go home to change and then try to beat it back to her house (right along the parade route!) before they closed the streets.  I was sitting in the chair next to her and she happened to glance at my wrist. "Oh, what's that you're wearing?" "Um, it's my watch." "Oh it's so pretty. Can I try it on?" "Okay Marie." I took it off (it was a simple bangle) and handed it to her. "Oh daughter, that's so fancy. I don't know if I can operate it." Sighing, I just slipped in on her wrist. "I just love this! I really like the one you gave me yesterday, but I might want this one instead."  Sighing, I said, "But you love gold. Don't you like the one I gave you yesterday?" "Yes, but I haven't tried it on yet."

So she took hers out of the box and had me buckle it on her wrist. "Oh I really do like this one. Maybe I'll just keep it. Look at the diamonds! I'll just have to practice putting it on.  You can keep your silver one. Thank you daughter." "You're welcome Marie."

That was today, day 3, and I managed to keep my OWN new watch. Happy Birthday Marie: you still drive me crazy, but I'm glad you're here to do so!

Things That Go "Bump" In The Morning

I used to consider myself a relatively fearless person.  I liked scary movies, or at least what passed for scary when I was a kid. Looking back at those movies now makes me laugh at how really bad and obvious the special effects were.

But for the past few years, I just haven’t had the nerves of steel of my youth. I remember one morning I was alone and lazily flipping through the channels looking for something to watch. I landed on a channel that showed a pleasant-looking lady talking to a clergyman. Ah, I thought, this seems like it could be a nice movie. After a couple of minutes the scene shifted, and it was Linda Blair’s crazy face from the exorcist!  Ahhhhh!!!! I screamed and couldn’t get away from the channel fast enough! I had to sleep with the lights on that night!

Sometimes I think there’s safety in numbers, and if I watch a scary movie with someone else, I’ll be safe. Now that might work in theory, but not necessarily in practice.  I had wanted to see the movie “Scary Movie” but missed it in the theatre. It was on TV one night and I really wanted to watch it.  However, Brie was sleeping on the couch. As long as she was in the room it counted, right? So I turned it on and settled in my recliner to watch it with my cat Sam on my lap for added reassurance. I prided myself on how well I was doing. Then suddenly Sam jumped on the back of the chair and alertly looked toward the kitchen, which was ensconced in darkness. “What is it Sam?” With his ears pricked forward, Sam peered around the doorway and then jumped down and went into the kitchen. Nervously I went back to watching the movie, because at least I still had Brie. I saw the killer in the movie lurking around the corner with his knife, waiting for his next victim. As the killer raised his knife as the hapless victim was rounding the corner, all of a sudden something landed with a thud on the top of my chair. Screaming, the remote went flying and I jumped out of the chair before the killer could get me…um, it was just Sam back from the kitchen…But my nerves were shot and my poor daughter was awakened from her sleep. Needless to say, I turned the TV off.

There was another movie I wanted to watch on TV: Devil’s Advocate with Keanu Reeves, who I loved at that time. But again: any movie with the word devil in it is bound to be scary. However: I liked the cast and figured if I watched it during broad daylight with the curtains open and sunshine streaming in the windows, I’d be safe. I asked Brie to watch it with me but she said she wanted to nap. So again: she was on the couch asleep while I was in my recliner watching this movie.  I was doing okay but whenever I thought a scary part was coming up, I’d reach over and wake her up. This got old real quick for her, so after the 5^th dirty look, I decided to be a big girl and just watch it. That worked until the dressing room scene where it looked like demons were moving under the skin of one of the women. That was it: the TV went off and I was done!

It isn’t just movies, and it isn’t just me. Sometimes it’s real life occurrences that turn out to be scary, when they shouldn’t be.  When we were thankfully moving from 441 to our lovely new abode, we were packing and trying to clean up so we could leave as quickly as possible. Kitty was in her room and Brie was in the living room “helping me”.  I was sweeping the floor and Brie was by the wall when suddenly something black and wiggly skittered across the floor. Before I could say, “What’s that?” Brie had pushed me through the front screen door to get outside, effectively ensuring that I fell as she practically climbed over me to reach safety.  Realizing that we had to go back inside, at least to save Kitty, I cautiously approached the screen door to peek through to see what monstrous critter had chased us out. It turned out to be one of Kitty’s fuzzy Slideyz toys that had moved from the breeze elicited by the broom! We laughed and laughed as I rubbed my bruised ribs and cracked elbow.

I’m going to close with something that happened just a couple of weeks ago. I listen to the religious station at night, and they were doing a series on the Book of Revelation, or end-time prophecies. I’ve read and known about this all of my life, but I still like to listen because sometimes you hear something you might have missed. So that night they were talking about the anti-christ and the beast. The next morning when I was waking up for work it was another dark, dreary early morning. Brie came into my room to chat for a minute and sat on the bed by Pumpkin. Suddenly, the door to my closet creaked and slowly opened a little. All conversation stopped. “What’s that?” Brie asked. “Um, maybe a breeze from my window.”  But my window was only opened a crack and there was no wind. The closet door creaked a little more, which is strange because my door doesn’t creak!  “Uh, where are the cats?” I asked.  “They were both lying on the bathroom floor when I was in there,” Brie whispered, moving closer to me. I looked at Pumpkin, our guard Chihuahua. “Pumpkin, go see what it is,” I said, putting her on the floor. Pumpkin happily wagged her tail and scampered toward the closet door, and then stopped: her tail stiff as she just stared at the door.  By this time Brie was ducking behind me. “Mom, do something!” “What am I supposed to do??” Then the door creaked again and Pumpkin raced back to me. I screamed when I saw something big and black gliding across the floor and lifted my feet to the bed. Brie screamed too and then I realized…it was Victoria, our big Maine Coon cat!  She had somehow slid in the door unseen when Brie came into the room. We laughed in shaky relief as I picked Pumpkin back up.  “You were going to sacrifice the dog??” Brie said. “Actually,” I replied, “I was going to sacrifice you to give me time to get out!”  Thank goodness that bump wasn’t a precursor to the end!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN! J

School's In!

Today was the first day of school where I live, and this got me thinking about some things I remember very vividly from when I was going to school.

When I was in elementary school, there was this boy in my class named Philip. We were best friends until the day he turned his eyelids inside out, right in the lunch line. Horrified, that put an end to our friendship! To this day, I still think that turning your eyelids inside out is disgusting. So naturally Kitty can do it!  Thankfully she only does that to scare her sister J  I also remember the hot school lunches, which in reality weren’t so hot.  I think my dislike of pizza comes from what they classified as pizza in elementary school: a hard ½ English muffin with a little square of American Cheese and a dollop of ketchup. Yum! Not!!  Or their odd little hamburger, which I know was comprised of neither ham nor burger…yet surprisingly we still ate it.  Hey: little kids aren’t known for their discriminating palates!

When I entered Junior High (“middle school” hadn’t been invented yet!) I knew it was going to be awesome, because there were 4 different elementary schools in our area, and 7^th grade was where they all came together. We got to meet kids from the other different schools, you could reinvent yourself and you finally got to go to different classes throughout the day. Sure it was a little hairy at first with making sure your locker would open, memorizing your friends’ locker combinations and timing yourself so you’d have time to get from locker to classroom. But all in all it was definitely to my liking. Especially seeing all the cute boys from the other schools J As for the hot lunch: better than elementary, but still had flaws. Like the day a girl found a bug in her spinach because the vegetables came in big industrial-sized cans.   That’s why I didn’t eat the vegetables!  And also why sometimes my friends and I would sneak out and walk to Carroll’s, the precursor to McDonald’s, for lunch.

Junior High also introduced me to the school dances. I don’t like to brag, but I’ve been a great dancer ever since I was a toddler. I had been hearing about the dances from my older brothers. And now I was going to be able to take part in them! Or so I thought…my parents had no intention of letting their sheltered daughter go to any school dances where she might be in contact with boys in a darkened auditorium from 7 to 9 pm.  Good thing I perfected the art of making up a different story to tell them, so I could occasionally sneak to the dances. Sorry Marie!  I still remember one particular Friday night dance, where the guy I liked slow-danced to “Superstar” by the Carpenters with another girl. I was heartbroken! To this day, that song still gives me a pang of bitter-sweetness when I hear it on the radio. But he and I are now Facebook friends J

On the first day of my freshman year, I remember how excited I was because for the first time I got to pick out whatever I wanted to wear. In 8^th grade, on the first day I remember Marie made me wear this sleeveless dress that had a brown plaid faux scarf around the neck, the dress’s torso was solid brown, and the skirt was pleated brown plaid that matched the scarf. This was what my friends were used to seeing me wear. But the first day of 9^th grade: I was wearing the groovy outfit I picked out myself. It was a 2-piece set: the top had a purple paisley collar, the short sleeves were the same print, the rest of the ribbed top was black, and the skirt was the same purple, white and black polyester print. Whoo hoo! You couldn’t tell me anything in this short-skirted outfit, complete with white knee socks and black shoes. My friends were so amazed when they saw my transformation, and I was very pleased by their reactions. And it’s a good thing I picked out my own outfit because we got some new students who transferred from the Catholic school. St. Michael’s only went up to 8^th grade, so as freshmen some of the kids came to Junior High instead of going across the bridge to St. Mary’s. And St. Mary’s loss was our gain because those boys were c-u-t-e! I loved my freshman year!

The best part about high school? The Glen Lake Casino! I was 16 when I was a senior, I didn’t have a fake ID, but I never got proofed and my friends and I were there pretty much every weekend. Hey Marie: that’s what you get for not letting me go to junior high dances; and the club was sooo much better (plus the guys were older and cuter).

Oh, how I miss those days sometimes! But at least I’ve got plenty of good memories.  And parents: if you don’t want your kids to attend school dances, just volunteer to be a chaperone. That’s guaranteed to take all the fun out of it for them! And if you don't believe me: ask Brie! I chaperoned all of her dances and Teen Towns to make sure any fun was kept to a minimum, haha!

Why I Will Always Live With Kitty

There are many reasons why I will always live with Kitty, such as she’s my daughter, I love her, and she’s very entertaining, helps with bills and loves to vacuum.  However, there’s an even bigger reason why she will always be my roommate…

It had been a very rough week, and on this particular Friday night I just wanted to kick back and relax after dinner.  After all: I deserved it!  Kitty was in her room, and I decided to watch reruns of “Reba” and enjoy some Cheetos and a juice box.  The cats were keeping me company, so it was going to be a good night!

Presently, as it was getting to a really good part of one of my favorite episodes, I heard a tiny little noise.  It wasn’t me crunching on the Cheetos, so it must have been the cats.  I looked to my left: Charlie was sleeping on a chair.  I looked to my right: Luna was sleeping on another chair.  Something told me to look up.  My eyes slowly traveled up the wall and there, perched on the wall like a painting, was a bat!

A couple of things went through my mind at this point:  like it was February and technically bats were supposed to be hibernating; how exactly was the bat clinging to the sheer face of the wall in the first place, and a pest control person had told me that to get rid of a bat you turned on lights in all the rooms except the one with the window or door so the bat would automatically fly out.  This seemed perfectly rational, but seeing the bat on my wall made rationality moot. 

Luckily, I had a broom pretty close to where I was sitting, since earlier I had planned to sweep the floor and that didn’t happen.  As I observed the bat, I realized that it was moving very slowly because it KNEW it was supposed to be hibernating and not hanging out on my living room wall like a wall safe.  I figured that I could knock it down with the broom and then sweep it out the door.  So I very slowly reached for the broom, got my hand around the handle, and prepared to lift it up. However, I had no foreshadowing of the events to come.  Such as the bat sensing my movement, and then spreading its 7-foot pterodactyl wings and taking flight!

When this happened I did what any other person would do under the circumstances:  I screamed like a little girl, dropped the broom and started running around the living room, waving my hands around my head to keep the bat from landing!  This woke up the cats who thought I was playing some kind of new game.  They saw me running, saw the bat flying, and then they started trying to chase the bat.  So now I not only had to keep the pre-historic Jurassic pterodactyl bat from setting up a condo in my hair, but I also had to keep from stepping on the cats.

At some point during this scene from a horror movie, I remembered that Kitty was in her room.  All I had to do was make it there, and she’d do something about the bat because she’s fearless!  She’s a warrior!  She’s the great and powerful Kitty!  So I headed in the direction of her room: but just like in the movie Poltergeist, all of a sudden the hall elongated and the door got further away!  Now I was hysterical, running down the hall until I finally managed to get to the door.  I turned the handle: it was locked!  So I pounded on the door, screaming her name. “Kitty!  Kitty!” 

I heard her voice on the other side. “Who is it?”

“It’s your mother!”  I yelled.  “Let me in!”

“What’s going on out there?”  SHE STILL HADN’T UNLOCKED THE DOOR!

“There’s a bat out here!!”

“What do you mean a bat?  It’s winter and they’re hibernating.”

“Open the freakin’ door!”

Finally she opened the door and I fell inside her room.  “Mom, are you sure it’s a bat?”

“Yes I’m sure.  Can you take care of it?”

“Of course I can.  You stay here and rest.”  She put on her leopard print slippers and a safari hat (don’t ask), grabbed her butterfly net and out the bedroom door she went as I huddled in a heap on the floor by her bed.  I kept a fearful eye on the little slit under her door in case the predator managed to subdue my daughter and came looking for me again!

I never heard any noise, but she came back a few minutes later.  “All set mom.  You’re safe now.”

“What did you do with it?”

She looked at me like I was simple.  “I took it outside and let it go.”

“You let it go???  So it can come back??”

“It’s not going to come back.”

“Yes it is and then what will I do?”

“Mom, it won’t come back.  Sheesh, what do you want to do: move?”

My eyes lit up and I literally grabbed her and shook her.  “Yes, that’s exactly what we’ll do!  We’ll move!  We don’t even need to pack: let’s just get in the car and go!”

There was a decided look of alarm on her face.  “Calm down!  We are not moving!  I’ll make you a cup of tea so you’ll feel better.”

“Tea, yes, okay.  Thank you Kitty. I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t been here.”

So she made me a cup of her special witch’s brew tea (again, don’t ask) and tucked me into my own bed like the good daughter she is.  However, for the next 2 weeks, I slept with all the lights on and with one eye open, just in case…

And that is why Kitty will always be my roommate!  But I wonder: how does she feel about it? :)

Worth The Wait?

After church today, I had to stop at Hannaford to pick up some food for the greedy and unemployed pets. (Seriously, I know they don't have opposable thumbs but surely they could so something). As I was getting out of the car Marie (yes, she was riding shotgun!) says, "If you see anything in there with my name on it you can go ahead and get it for me." Really Marie?? But I digress...

Anyhoo, I go in the store, grab a cart and slowly make my way through the store. When I had all of my purchases, I realized I hadn't gotten anything for Marie. Having limited funds, I tried to think of something economical I could get, and that led me to the cookie aisle. She loves the Anna's Ginger Thins, and after some real searching I found them on a lower shelf. Then I proceeded to meander my way down the cookie aisle, trying to decide what kind of cookie I would buy, if I was in the mood for cookies.  Eventually, I ended up at the Oreos, America's greatest cookie. And they're always on sale! But I had eaten some last week, so I wasn't even tempted.

Then I looked up, way up on the top shelf, and I saw them: Nabisco's Famous Wafers.  If you aren't familiar with this cookie, it comes in an oblong yellow box with a cellophane cover so you can actually see the famous wafers. They are what looks like a flat dark chocolate cookie thin. There's no description on the box, but there are a couple of recipes on the bottom. And the price: since it's on the top shelf, it's a whopping $4.69!

Now, I have been noticing these Famous Wafers since I was a child. But I've never had one. Why? I really can't say.  I always think about buying them. I think about what they might taste like. Yet maybe, since it's on the top shelf, like fine liquor, I think they're overpriced. Do I really want to take the chance of buying a pack of cookies, paying top dollar, and then finding out I don't like them? However, I do love dark chocolate. And I do love Nabisco cookies.  So maybe...

Okay, now that I'm obsessing about these cookies, I can do one of 2 things. I can wait until payday and plunk down the $4.69 to buy a package, or I can wait until my birthday and have someone else pay for them!  But will that count towards a real present, so I'm gypped on something else??  Looking at it from that angle, I think I'll buy them myself.  But after coveting them for 40 years: they'd better be worth the wait!

I'll let you know... :-)

Queen of My Soul

I've had music in my soul since I was a toddler. I couldn't imagine my life without music in it; and of course I believe I have exquisite, and eclectic, taste in music.  I am also good at loving songs that no one else seems to remember.  My sister always says I'm making them up because she doesn't remember any of them. I tell her it's because I have a memory like an elephant when it comes to music.  Plus, I worked at an oldies radio station which helped to refresh my musical memory.

I'll give you an example: everyone knows the song "Feelings" by Morris Albert, because everyone hates that sappy song.   But how many people remember the song that I think I want for my first dance with my husband: "Sweet Loving Man" by Morris Albert? NOBODY!!  That song is so romantic, and sexy, and so un-like "Feelings", yet I'm the only person who knows it.  Why is that? Guess you'll have to come to my wedding to hear it!

Here's another one: "Simone" by Henry Gross.  Now everyone remembers "Shannon", which I never liked.  Again, my sister said it was one of my "imaginary" songs. So not true!

Here's a list of 11 awesome songs that no one else seems to remember, but I have them on CD and cassette tape.  How many people can still brag about having cassettes made in the 60's, that still play?? Certron, you ROCKED!!

• "Right Relations" by Johnny Rivers. Never shows up on any of his "best of" compilations, but it's his best song ever.
• "Work To Do" and "A Love of Your Own" by AWB. Those white boys from Scotland had more soul than some black groups I know.  They were much more than just "Pick Up the Pieces".
• "Duncan" by Paul Simon.  Such a gut-wrenching song that gets me right in the heart.
• "That Girl" by Crosby, Stills and Nash. Maybe no one knows it because Young wasn't there?
• "Mississippi" by John Phillips. I think it may have been about a prostitute, but maybe that's just me. Not me as a prostitute, haha!
• "25th of Last December" by Roberta Flack.  Talk about a heartbreaker - and it's impossible to find.
• "At Last" by the Fatback Band.  Forget Etta James - this is the version I'm walking down the aisle to!  You know how I love a hot sax...
• "Jesus for Tonight" by Michel Polnareff. He was cute, he was French, I saw him once on American Bandstand but the song still resonates with me.
• "Beyond the Blue Horizon" by Lou Christie.  They play like...22 seconds of this song in the movie "Rain Man" while Tom Cruise and Dustin Hoffmann are driving off across the plains...
• "Never Let Go" by Eastbound Expressway.  Maybe one of the reasons I couldn't find it was because I thought it was the Trans Europe Expressway.  Great dance tune from the late 70's; we used to tear up the dance floor at the Golden Grill in Saratoga back in the day.  Ahhh: memories!  Shout out to the crew of engineers we knew and danced with from RPI!!

Anyhoo, that's just a few of my "imaginary" tunes.  Trust me: there are many more, but I'll let you take the time to YouTube these to see if they're real!

Celebrating the Olympics

Unless you've been living in a biosphere, everyone knows that the Olympic Opening Ceremonies were last Friday. I like the Olympics and can admire the dedication and determination of the athletes, but I've never really sat down to watch the opening ceremonies.

This year was no different.  There was no time to watch anything: we had shopping to do at Wal-Mart and had to go to the Olive Garden for dinner! The food was so good, and Brie loves their Roscato wine.  She had a couple of glasses of it at dinner, so she was feeling pretty good because red wine  hits her more than white.

Anyhoo, we finally got home and she decided to have one more glass (yes, she had a bottle at home).  We were pretending we were watching WWE Smackdown: I was in the kitchen on the computer and Brie was just talking and enjoying her wine.  When she was finished, and wrestling was over, we flipped through channels and the Olympics were still on.  They had talked earlier about how the Queen had jumped out of a plane and parachuted into the ceremonies, even though it was a hoax.

So...this made Brie decide that she needed to do something to commemorate the opening ceremonies of the Olympics as well.  She decides, after 3 glasses of wine, to do a cheer in the kitchen.  I looked up from the computer to see exactly how she was going to do this.  She gets in the middle of the floor, says a little cheer, and then jumps up to do a split in the air.  As I watched her leap, I realized 2 things: 1) she can't do a split; and 2) she was going to hit the lowered part of the ceiling.

Sure enough: her hands went up and it was like slow-motion: her right hand hit the ceiling.  She yelped in pain as she came back down and bent over.  I didn't dare laugh: what if she'd broken something?  She kept saying, "Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow" over and over and I felt really bad for her.  She finally lifted up her head and said, "Are you laughing?" "No!  Are you hurt?  Do you need to go to the emergency room?"  "I'm okay," she said, holding her hand and pouting.  She looked up again and there were tears in my eyes.  "Oh go ahead and laugh: I know you want to mom!" and I burst out laughing. I'm sorry but that was one of the funniest things I'd seen in a long time, and I had tears in my eyes from trying to hold back the laughter. Don't worry: she laughed too.  I felt bad for 2 reasons: 1) I know it hurt; and 2) I know it blew her wine buzz.

So that's how we celebrated the opening of the Olympics.  I wonder what she's going to do for the closing ceremonies????

😀

Next Time We'll Do Lunch

I was really optimistic that today was going to be a good day.  My sister decided that she wasn't going to go to the salon this morning, so it was just me and Kitty.  I thought we'd be done in time to go to the Peppermill for breakfast, but Annette was a little backed up so we missed breakfast there.  Brie called to see what we were doing, so we decided to go have breakfast at Denny's.

Don't get me wrong: we like Denny's.  Judging by my waistline, you can tell I really like their dinner rolls.  But it was noon without a roll in sight, so we settled on breakfast.  But I knew we were in trouble as soon as the waitress got to our table.  Let's just say I could tell she wasn't part of the "A" team. She brought our drinks and managed to slosh Kitty's on the table and my hand, and forgetting my drink.  Then she comes to mop it up and misses half of it. I give her my simple order of an original grand slam and she asks what I want in it.  Um...whatever it says on the menu it comes with, thanks.  Then Brie asked her about the cheese sauce for her omelette, and she kept talking about the cheese inside.  When Brie got tired of trying to explain her question, she just said to fix it however it said on the menu.

When she comes back with our food, Kitty's is perfect. My eggs are overcooked and Brie can't identify the meats in her omelette. Plus she didn't even get the cheese sauce!  When she mentions this the girl goes back and comes out with a saucer of spicy cheese and jalepeno.  Nope: Brie can't eat that!  So while Kitty enjoyed her picture-perfect meal, I could only eat part of my pancakes and Brie ate part of her not-totally-cooked hash browns and played the game of is it prime rib? chorizo? or bacon in my mouth? The world may never know, and we sure didn't want to ask!

The second best part was when the girl was vacuuming around us and told Brie how much she liked her designer bag.  "Was it expensive?" she asked. "I got it for a good price." "Where?" "New York City." "Oh it's fake, huh?" The indignant look on Brie's face was priceless, as was the fact she was speechless.

The girl came around again and noticed Kitty's footwear. "Those are cool sandals.  Did you get them at TJ Maxx?" "No, at Wal-Mart." "Do they come in black?" "I'm sure they come in many assorted colors." "Does the thing between your toes hurt?" "No." "I'd like to get a pair if they're not going to hurt my toes."  For heaven's sake: they were flip flops!

Finally we couldn't stand it anymore and went to pay and leave: not that I wanted to pay for Brie's debacle of an omelette!  But here's the best part of all: we got up to leave and were heading for the register.  This older couple had just come in and the hostess was getting ready to show them to their table.  The woman stops and says, "Excuse me, but I have to ask a question.  Are you two twins?" She was indicating me and Brie!!!

Well I felt like a million bucks as Brie fumed, and I said, "No we're not twins because she's older." Then the lady and I shared a laugh, which Brie did not.  How awesome was that for me??  It made up for the less than stellar late breakfast.  For me, at least!

As Brie stomped to the car she said, "Next time I don't care what time it is.  We're going to the Peppermill!"

>--<

July 20th

I was sitting here at my computer pretending that I was working on my new manuscript, when in reality I was playing 5 roll.  I really thought that this was the year that I would have my Saratoga Track/love story finished by opening day of the Flat track, but since I just found out 2 days ago that the track will be open July 20th, I don't think that's going to happen.  Granted, I only have 3 chapters left to write, but I know my limitations and between working overtime, house stuff, trying to find time to sleep, catching up on shows that are DVR'ed: there's just not going to be enough time.  Sigh...

Anyhoo, as I was sitting here playing 5 Roll, I also have my Windows Media Player playing.  Suddenly, the song "Running Away" by Roy Ayers Ubiquity came on, and I was immediately transported back to the year 1978.  It was August, I was in Saratoga at the Golden Grill Disco, and I was always on the dance floor.  I remember it like it was yesterday: the heat of the place since it was summer, what "fashions" we were wearing, who I was dancing with and even some of the people that were there.  When I say we, I'm referring to my cousins Denise and Ivy, my very good friend Vicky and her cousins Joan and Nancy.  During August, all of the track people from Belmont came up and you'd meet people that you knew you'd only see again if they showed up in Saratoga the next year.

The song by Roy Ayers always reminds me of a tracker that we called "Billy the White Negro."  We called him this because although he had black features, his skin was white and he had gray eyes.  He was cute and he was a good dancer.  But honest to goodness we could never understand a word he said.  Perhaps he was latino and we were too young and sheltered to realize, or maybe he was just drunk or stoned and slurring his words.  Regardless, we'd always dance with him and smile and nod if he said anything.  I wonder what ever happened to him?  The last time I saw him was probably 1981...and with the way that drugs were growing rampant among the track crowd, I'm pretty sure Billy was a casualty...

But other people that I remember from that year were the 3 Butches: Big Butch, Little Butch, and Tiny Tot Butch.  Tiny Tot Butch was this little groom who worked at the track, and he couldn't have been more than 5 feet tall.  Little Butch was a white art student from Skidmore that surprised us with how well he could dance, with his hat, goatee, jeans and fringed vest. Not the typical guy that frequented the Grill!  Big Butch was a big black guy that only showed up occasionally, but he became a good friend of ours.

There was also Ricky, and we loved him. He was in love with our beautiful friend Joan, yet she didn't return those particular feelings.  His brother toothless Ralph, who was fine as was wine but like his nickname said: he had no front teeth.  I'l have to tell you a story about him sometime!  There was Sly, who always danced in flip flops.  Donnie: who didn't dance but sold a lot of drugs (not to us!).  Spud, the eternal stud. Danny, who had a wife and kids at home but didn't want that fact to get out.  And a whole slew of other guys that I'm sure we've long forgotten...

But Saratoga in August was truly the place to be!  Well for us it was more being at the Grill every weekend.  We danced, hung out, met new people, made out with a few guys (hey,we were young and it was still the 70's!), sweat a lot, stayed out too late but still made it to work the next day...Man, there are times when I wish I could turn back the clock to that fun, carefree time when I was thin, gorgeous and in demand: and me and my "crew" were closer than sisters.

Where are they now?  Vicky ended up marrying Donnie, straightening him out and now she works for the federal government.  Denise is in the insurance field, and her sister Ivy is a personal trainer.  Neither one of them keeps in touch.  Sadly, Nancy died a few years ago of cancer.  She fought the good fight, but we lost one of the world's great partiers.  We miss you Nancy!!  And her sister Joan has remarried, but I lost touch with her after Nancy died.

We may  not still be together, but I bet that they share the same nostalgic feelings when or if they hear any of our old "songs".  I just hope they have happy memories too!

In the meantime, I have 8 minutes to get to bed.  I'm glad I took the time to jot down this post.  I'm going to share a few more Saratoga stories with you over the course of the next couple of weeks, since it's obvious I won't have the book completed! Sigh...maybe before the meet is over?  Stay tuned!

Day Is Done

Well today is officially Kitty's birthday and I am spent.  I'm declaring Kitty-pa-looza over. I am waving the white flag.  We went out to dinner and had cake afterwards.  But here's how my day went before any festivities had begun:

I took today off because it's Kitty's birthday, so she went to program.  That's okay because I had a mammogram scheduled for 11:30.  But I wasn't feeling that great so I slept in, but I got to the doctor's on time.  So after that yearly indignity, I got dressed and realized I had to go to the mall to finish Kitty's birthday shopping.

It was pretty hot out and I sat in the car with the air conditioner on, contemplating if I really needed to go to the mall. But I valiantly headed up there and found a good parking spot at the entrance closest to Claire's.  I slowly made my way through Sears, up the ramp, and into the store.  It was easy for me to spot what Kitty wanted, because last week she had gone there and taken pictures of everything she wanted, put the pictures in a photo gallery on her phone and sent it to me.  I can't make this stuff up!

After Claire's I wanted to check out JC Penney for some capris, but it was all the way at the other end of the mall.  It was too hot to go back to the car and drive all the way around, so against my better judgment I decided to trudge through the mall to the other end.  That's something I never do, but figured that even though I still didn't feel great at least Penney's is known for having really clean bathrooms...

As I went through I saw that Aeropostale was having a sale.  Figuring they wouldn't have anything in my size, I thought I'd take a peek in.  Lo and behold: they had some nice t-shirts in my size for just $5!  I bought 2 as a reward for making it that far.  Then I slowly continued on with my journey until I reached Bath & Body Works.  I had seen online that they were having my favorite sale: Cashmere Shea and True Blue Spa: buy 2 get 2 free.  I went in but noticed thier sign said buy 2 get 1 free.  I asked an employee about it, and when I told her about the online sale she replied, "Oh that is a good sale!"  But since they weren't running it in the store, I left empty handed.

I was finally almost at my destination when I decided to look in the pet store at the puppies.  There was a Chihuahua, not cuter than Pumpkin, of course, but just for kicks I asked how old it was and what the gender was.  It was a 3-month old male and it had a different shaped head, which was a deer head or deer nose or something. My questions were answered and I was ready to go when the girl asked me, "Do you want to play with him?"  Shoot, I had some time to kill and who doesn't love a puppy? We went in the playroom, she shut the door, and all hell broke loose!  That puppy first ran like a crazy thing around the little room, then he started chewing on the bow on my cute little shoe!  When I got him to stop that: then he chewed on my foot!  I tried to pet him and he tried to bite my fingers!  I was sooo done with this puppy!  And if he was only 3 months old then I was too because his teeth were bigger than Pumpkin's and she's almost 3 YEARS old!

I called out to the girl to come get him and she said, "I'll be there in a minute!  Oh, and he's teething."  No, the dog was biting!  I tried to flag down one of the other employees, and by this time the puppy had latched on to the bottom of my cropped pants!  I had my foot off the floor and the hellion was dangling in the air by my pant leg as I was trying to shake him loose!  Once I got him disattached, he peed on the floor for good measure as the girl finally came to get him.  "So what did you think of our boy?" she asked brightly.  "I think you're going to have him for a long time," I replied as I limped out of the store.

By that time the last thing I wanted to do was look for capris, but JCP was right next door so I limped in, found a pair, and trudged all the way back through to Sears and outside to my car.  It was hot as blazes and I sat in front of the air conditioner, exhausted not from the walk but from fighting off that darn puppy.  I'm telling you: next time I'm going to drive around the mall, no matter how hot it is!!

It's Almost That Time...

Today is Wednesday, June 27th, 2012.  You know what that means: 6 days until Kitty-palooza!  Yes, that time of year where her birthday is July 3rd, yet we seem to start celebrating several days before AND several days after! As a matter of fact: when I picked Kitty up from work last night, she got in the car and said, "Mom, guess what I did before my shift started? I walked all around the mall and took pictures of the things I want for my birthday!" Then she clicked on the photo gallery on her Droid Razr phone and showed me all of the items!  Seriously Kitty????

So here's the run-down on what's in store for Kitty-palooza 2012:

• Friday: dinner at the Outback.
• Saturday: seeing the Calico Dancers Indian troup at Moreau Rec.
• Saturday night: dinner with friends at Siam Thai Sushi, and I don't eat sushi (not my birthday).
• Sunday: Going to the movies to see "Brave".
• Monday: Build-a-bear workshop for a companion for Miss Piggy and Lady Baa Baa.
• Tuesday: her actual birthday with family dinner, cake and presents.
• Wednesday the 4th: cookout.

Then we skip to Saturday the 7th, when we go to Glen Lake for Lisa and Tim's annual blowout featuring great food, fun and fireworks!  We'll bring a cake there like we always do for Kitty's birthday,along with my famous pasta salad.

So there it is, and I'm tired but I'd better gear up for this.  After all, what would summer be without Kitty calling all the shots for a week???  I'll let you know how we all fared after all the celebrating's complete!

Wardrobe Malfunction

A few years ago I had a year that was quite stressful for me.  I found myself constantly on edge and occasionally suffering from shortness of breath.  Since I have a pre-existing condition, I decided to call good old Dr. Bob to get things checked out.  After a routine exam, it was decided that I should go to a cardiologist and have a “stress test”.  In the meantime, I was written out of work for 2 ½ weeks as a preventative measure.  Thanks Dr. Bob!

I’ve had a stress test before so I wasn’t worried about it.  Prior to the appointment I was given a two-page list of dos and don’ts, and they weren’t too alarming.  I figured it would be a easy, especially since I had done so well with the spinning classes before!  I was more than ready for a mere walk on a treadmill.

The morning of the test I dressed in my cute little workout Capri’s, a v-necked tee shirt, Joe Boxer socks and sneakers.  I figured this way they could attach the electrodes to whatever wasn’t covered up by clothes.   I was ready for this little workout!  However, when I arrived and was ushered into the room with the treadmill, they told me to undress from the waist up.  Why?  There was room for the electrodes under my shirt and down the low neckline.  But they said no and made me take it off, plus my foundation garment!  “Here,” the first nurse said, handing me a paper garment.  “You can cover up with this smock top.”

They left the room; I removed my clothing from the waist up and put on the smock.  Hmm, what was wrong with this picture?  First of all, I’m tall, 5’10” without shoes.  Second, being on the northern side of 40, gravity has a greater hold on certain parts of the anatomy which naturally makes them face a more…southerly direction.  To sum it up, even with the front of the smock drawn closed, my “naughty bits” were peeking from beneath the smock!  If I hadn’t been so mortified, I probably would have laughed.  But this was no laughing matter!

The nurse returned and asked if I was ready. “Are you kidding?”  I asked.  “Hello, I think I need a little more coverage, thank you very much!”

“Hmm, I see what you mean,” she said, and then she helpfully took something that I can only describe as a blue cape-like garment and put it around my shoulders, tying it around my neck.  That was her solution. 

So now not only can you see a bit of the twins, but I looked like a demented superhero with the cape.  However, as she pointed out, once I was on the treadmill, they wouldn’t be able to see anything because the sides were covered up.  Well that was good news, wasn’t it?

Actually the good news was everything turned out all right: I just needed to R-E-L-A-X and learn to destress before it did turn into something.  But seriously: I figured I'd destress AFTER I was able to put my clothes back on!

Topless TV

This is one of Brie's favorite stories from a LONG time ago!

I was at work staring out the window, which took some doing since I didn’t sit anywhere near a window.  I was wishing that I could go home early because I had finished the project I was working on and didn’t want to start another one that day.  Then my phone rang.

“Ohhh, I’m so sick,” moaned a voice on the phone.

“Who is this?” I asked, suspiciously.

“Mommy, it’s me and I don’t feel good.  Hold on.”  I was sorry I had when I heard the sounds of Brie puking.  “Come home, I need you.”

“Need me for what?  You’re eighteen; what can I do?”

“I just need you.  Come home!”  Puke.

“Yuck!  Okay, I’ll be there in half an hour.”

I had wanted to go home early, but not to hold her hand while she threw up!  I should have been more specific when I made my wish!  However, being the good mother that I was, I went home to tend to her.

Wouldn’t you know it?  She was asleep on the couch and didn’t need me!  At least she wasn’t puking or crying, thank goodness.  I’d start dinner early.  It was a warm late spring afternoon, and as I took off my work clothes I decided, since Brie was asleep and I could hear Kitty watching TV in their room, that I wouldn’t need to get dressed right away.  I also decided to make a family favorite for dinner: Shanghai Beef.  I needed to cut some beef into cubes, and Ricki Lake was on, so I thought I would just do it in the living room.  I pulled a kitchen chair into the doorway of the living room, next to the couch where Brie was sleeping, got a plate with the beef, a steak knife and fork, turned on the TV and commenced to cutting.

Of course, Binky (our other cat at the time) and Luna were milling about: curious as to what “mom” was doing.  Either that or wondering what I was doing without my shirt and pants on!  But I didn’t pay too much attention to them because I was too engrossed in what was happening with Ricki’s guests.

Luna, nimble kitten that she was, jumped up on the side of my chair to investigate.  Apparently I wasn’t doing anything too interesting because she jumped right back down.  Then, as a guest screamed at her boyfriend for cheating on her, I felt this piercing pain in my side.  Yelping, I looked and saw clumsy Binky hanging by a claw dug into my side!  I moved the plate to my left hand so I could unhook the kitten.  The plate landed right underneath poor Brie’s nose; she inhaled, sat up, and puked!  Then she started crying because she had finally gotten comfortable enough to sleep, and the smell of the “bloody raw meat” woke her up and started her throwing up again.  She didn’t even care that Binky was dangling like a little klingon from my side!

Is there ever any sympathy for mom?  Nope!  So the motto was not to cut up meat in your underwear; OR not to have bloody meat where Brie can smell it!  😏

Dating Ain't Easy!

It isn’t easy dating here in the North Country: especially when according to statistics, I have a better chance of being hijacked by terrorists than getting married. Yet still my friends and I persist in playing the dating game, or romance Russian roulette as we’re more fond of calling it.

Since it seems like most of the men we come across are looking for arm candy, video vamps, one night stands or sugar mommies, sometimes you have to explore other options. Perhaps there is a situation that at first glance seems ordinary. With a little imaginative tweaking, said situation could be turned into an opportunity. Let’s take this a little further:

Usually when you go on a date you go to dinner, or a movie, bowling or for drinks. More times than not, there’s no one on the horizon to enjoy these activities with you and you’ve hit a dry spell. What’s a girl to do? You make the best of a situation that, even though it doesn’t look like a conventional night out, can keep you in practice until your next Mr. Right (or Mr. Right Now!) comes along.

Let’s say you have to go to the grocery store because the only thing in your fridge is a box of baking soda and the light bulb. So you take off your sweats, put on a pair of jeans and a little lipstick and drive to the store. Once there you get your basket or cart and scope out the area: not only getting your items but seeing what potential single men might be shopping. Yes, this might seem a little lame, but if you time it right you can get to the store while they’re offering free samples to taste and it will seem like a cocktail party! Time your arrival at the tasting station to coincide with the cute guy you’ve been discreetly following so you can discuss what you’re eating. Hey, they only give you bite-sized samples anyway: like appetizers, so it’s not that much of a stretch. And who knows? Maybe you can work into your little conversation an actual place you know that has better food, and can finagle a dinner invitation!

Or here’s one for the slightly “saucier” woman, and you don’t need too much imagination for this one. Every woman has her “yearly” that she really looks forward to, ha ha. I don’t know about other ob/g’s, but mine has an actual cloth smock (not paper) for you to get dressed in and a piece of candy that you can munch on while he does what he needs to do. If you look at this the right way, it’s exactly like an expensive date. The guy gives you a new outfit, gives you chocolate, then you let him get to third base!

I don’t know about you, but it certainly sounds like a date to me! I mean, like dates I’ve read about…mom, you’re not reading this, are you?

50 Shades of Vampires

When I was in junior high or high school, I used to read Jackie Collins, Sidney Sheldon and Harold Robbins.  Ooh, such juicy reading!  My friends and I used to trade the books back and forth and whisper and giggle over the sexual parts.  That was until I came across a particular book by Harold Robbins entitled "Goodbye Janette".  I had devoured all of his decadent novels up to that point (as did most of my friends at that time), but this one just went so far over the edge that even though I finished it, I couldn't bring myself to read any more of his books.

So I did a one-eighty, and started reading the chaste Harlequin romances, the ones where the kisses are "chaste" and make the woman's heart "hurry a little".  As you can imagine, this would have been great had I been born in the 19th century.  So I moved on to the likes of Danielle Steele and Nora Roberts, which I enjoyed.  But then they became very formulaic, especially Ms. Steele, so I was cast adrift once again.

I finally tried the Harlequin series once again, but this time it was the SuperRomance line and the Silhouette Special Edition line.  Eureka!  I had found a balance between sex and romance!  I was so happy about this, that I began writing romances of my own as well as still working on my teen romances. 

Imagine how happy I was when I started publishing my romances on Nook and Kindle.  Finally: I was a published author!  I knew I'd be successful because who could resist a nice little romance with a hint of spice?  Apparently a LOT of people could, and you want to know why?  Because all of a sudden the big rage was a little something called "50 Shades of Gray".

Lord knows I'm not trying to give that book any more publicity, but it has blown up like Mentos in diet coke.  Even Brie bought the books on her phone, and hasn't bought any of mine yet!!  I know it's the height of naughtiness with S&M and all kinds of sexual kink in it, and someone like the New York Post dubbed it "mommy porn".  However, I know I'll never read that book because it's waaayy too much for me.  Yet that author is making money hand over fist (no pun intended!) and I'm not.  Is that really all people want these days: raw sex that people try to say is a "love story"? 

If so, I'll just have to stick with my romances.  You have to leave something to the imagination, don't you?  However, if I ever do decide to lay it all out there, I'll write a novel that joins the two leading genres: sex and the undead.  So if you come across an e-book entitled "50 Shades of Vampires", make sure you buy it!  It'll be a satirical look at what people are filling their reading hours with, complete with sex scenes (yikes!)! After all, I have to do something to shake my sales up a bit.

Happy reading!  And by that I mean "Dancing In A Minefield", Southern Hospitality", "Three's The Charm" and "A Good Place to Start! 😉

Still Saying the Darndest Things!

This is going to be a quick one, because it was pretty succinct and to the point.  And judging by the title, I'm sure you can imagine that it's something Kitty said.

I went out to the mailbox to get the mail one day after work.  There was a boatload of catalogues: Woman Within, LL Bean, Carol Wright, Ginny's: so I brought them all in and put them on the table.  Then I went into the living room to watch my DVR'd soap.

Brie was in the kitchen with her sister, and I imagine that they each picked up a catalogue to leaf through.  After a few minutes, Kitty comes into the living room and stops by my chair.  I didn't look up because Brooke was confronting Liam about his relationship with Hope.  Then Kitty spoke up: "Mom, would you like to have one of these?" She thrust the catalogue under my nose and was pointing to a large, clear, pink vibrator!

"No I most certainly do not want one of those!" I sputtered, wondering what in the world kind of catalogue had come to my house.

"But why not mom?  Don't you want to feel -" and here she stage whispered - "pleasure????"

"No Kitty I don't!"

Of course by this time Brie had fallen out of her chair laughing.  Thanks!  Kitty went back into the kitchen shaking her head.  "I'll just leave the catalogue up here for you mom in case you change your mind."

Seriously: what was going on, or rather not going on in my life, that Kitty thought her mother needed one of those?  I think I'd better start censoring the catalogues that I bring into the house!

A Day With Kitty

Autism makes my daughter Kitty a very unique individual.  There isn’t enough time to delve into all of the facets that make up the magic that is her.  Suffice it to say that even though she is very capable of exhibiting adult behavior, she is always going to be in touch with her inner and outer child.  Here’s an example:

                We had decided to do our spring cleaning early since each spring we have an annual inspection of all of the townhouses in our development.  Since Kitty’s sister and I work full time, Kitty really did a bang-up job of tackling some projects all by herself.  She did such a good job that I said, “Honey, you really helped out a lot and I really appreciate it.  So what would you like to do as a reward?”  The minute the sentence was out of my mouth I knew I should have put some parameters on it but it was too late: she immediately answered, “I want to go to Build-A-Bear Workshop.”

I have absolutely nothing against Build a Bear.  But it’s waaaayyyy down the Northway at Crossgates Mall, and everyone who knows me knows that I hate venturing further south than exit 12.  Crossgates is huge, and crowded, and I don’t know where anything is, and I really feel like I don’t fit in.  Yet I found myself saying, “Okay.”

I was already stressed about the inspection.  There are 3 women living in our townhouse, and we like clothes and shoes.  Plus I rarely ever go into the girls’ rooms, so who knew what the landlord might find?  But when Saturday morning rolled around and Mark came over, everything was pretty much copacetic: and of course he raved about Kitty’s curtains and how cleverly she had displayed her Living Dead Dolls, and on and on.  I got, “Well there seems to be a bit more than I’d like to see in the corner by your closet.  And Brie got, “Good Lord it’s a fire hazard!  Please find somewhere to store all of your shoes and boots!”  The good news is that her shoes and boots are all in boxes.  The bad news is that she had 788 pairs of them.  But since Mark is a really good friend, we’re golden until next spring and that stress was gone.  So now I had to make good on my promise to take Kitty to Crossgates; so my mall stress kicked in.

I never go back on my word to her since she really is a good girl, so I forced myself to put on a happy face, get in the car, and drive the 40 or so miles to the mall.

As you can imagine, she was in very good spirits: it was a sunny day, she had gotten paid the day before, and she was trying to decide what to have for lunch afterwards.  I was just praying that I could park close enough so I wouldn’t have to feel like I was walking for miles before I even reached the door.  And speaking of door: Kitty made it to the entrance as I was barely out of the car!  Who knew she could move that fast?  But I guess when you’ve got Build a Bear on the brain; it puts wings on your feet!

I managed to catch up to her, and she unerringly knew exactly where we needed to go.  But on the way we took a few moments to window shop at a couple of places.  She wanted to look in the Swarovski window at all of the gorgeous crystal, and point out what she was going to buy me one day when she becomes rich.  Then she thought I’d like to stop in a place called Teavana, because wasn’t I always looking for cherry-almond tea?  So we went in and of course they didn’t have any cherry almond tea, unless I’d like for them to mix a couple of really nice expensive teas together (no tea bags in this place!), then sell me an individual steeper for $20.  How did that sound?  It sounded like a big NO to me, that’s how it sounded! But Kitty was busy sampling a couple of teas that they had out.  And of course, one of the teas they showed her had a flower that bloomed when the tea seeped, and it was beautiful.  Nope: no flower in my tea sample!

But when she had decided that we’d spent enough time in there, it was time to high tail it to the magical land of Build A Bear.  I thought that it would be extremely busy on a Saturday, and I was right.  There was even a birthday party going on.  But she didn’t care: it was her day and I was just going to like it!  So I stoically and supportively stood there, like a giant redwood tree, amongst the little children picking out their animals to have stuffed, and watched as Kitty picked out the exact right Ms. Piggy.  Yes: MS. PIGGY from the Muppets!  Then she got in line with me to wait until it was her turn at the stuffing machine.

As I looked around at all of the parents there with their little kids that were probably aged 9 and below, I couldn’t help wondering: what in the world were they thinking when they looked at us???  But as is often the case, it didn’t matter because Kitty was happy.  She was patiently waiting in line, talking to me about what outfits she was going to buy for Piggy, and wondering how she was going to get along with Lady Baa Baa.  Oh, Lady Baa Baa is the stuffed sheep she got on her birthday last year.  So nope: this wasn’t our first foray into Build A Bear…

When it was finally her turn, she let the joy and magic of the place take over, and she did all of the things that the other kids had done: she spun around when she was supposed to, rubbed the little heart between her hands and gave it a kiss, and watched in fascination as the stuffing went into her new friend.  When this process was complete, she took her to the “air bath” to brush her hair and get rid of any bits of stuffing that may have gotten on her pink dress.  Then I trailed behind her as she picked out different outfits, shoes, sunglasses and the like.  Finally, we got to the computers, where she made up Piggy’s birth certificate. 

As we went to the register I told her that I’d buy a couple of outfits for her.  Then I wondered if she was really going to pay for all of the remaining items she’d acquired, or if she was going to try to get me to do so.  I’m sure you know the answer to that one!  Yep: I fall for it every time.  This time she said if Piggy had more clothes, then she and Baa Baa could trade outfits.  Really Kitty?   But by the time we got out of there Ms. Piggy had more clothes than I do!  Plus we’d bought enough for the cashier to give us 2 gift cards and 2 sets of Easter egg coloring kits.  So Kitty had quite a haul!  So much so, that she felt magnanimous enough to let me go into Yankee Candle, where she helped to load me up with Vineyard scented candles.  And we know how economically priced their merchandise is, ha ha!

I usually say that you can judge how happy Kitty is by how loudly she hums.  Can I tell you: she started humming from the moment we got in the car, all the way up the Northway to Exit 19??  I kept surreptitiously turning up the radio but she still hummed away as she brushed Piggy’s hair, and looked at her outfits, and decided I needed to take her to Red Lobster for lunch.  REALLY Kitty???

Yes, I took her to Red Lobster.  And yes: she brought Ms. Piggy in with her.  And yes; Ms. Piggy was sitting right across from me, staring at me with her big Piggy eyes.  But I’m so used to Kitty and her whimsy, at one point I decided that I’d join in.  When I saw her break off a little piece of biscuit and hold it to Piggy’s mouth, I said, “Honey, does Ms. Piggy like the cheddar bay biscuits?”  She looked at me like I was crazy and said, “She’s not real mom, she didn’t eat it!”  That was the end of the whimsy for me.

Other than that, lunch was good, Kitty had a great day and as we say in my family: when Kitty is happy, everyone is happy!  And that’s the way it should always be 😊