50 Shades of Vampires

When I was in junior high or high school, I used to read Jackie Collins, Sidney Sheldon and Harold Robbins.  Ooh, such juicy reading!  My friends and I used to trade the books back and forth and whisper and giggle over the sexual parts.  That was until I came across a particular book by Harold Robbins entitled "Goodbye Janette".  I had devoured all of his decadent novels up to that point (as did most of my friends at that time), but this one just went so far over the edge that even though I finished it, I couldn't bring myself to read any more of his books.

So I did a one-eighty, and started reading the chaste Harlequin romances, the ones where the kisses are "chaste" and make the woman's heart "hurry a little".  As you can imagine, this would have been great had I been born in the 19th century.  So I moved on to the likes of Danielle Steele and Nora Roberts, which I enjoyed.  But then they became very formulaic, especially Ms. Steele, so I was cast adrift once again.

I finally tried the Harlequin series once again, but this time it was the SuperRomance line and the Silhouette Special Edition line.  Eureka!  I had found a balance between sex and romance!  I was so happy about this, that I began writing romances of my own as well as still working on my teen romances. 

Imagine how happy I was when I started publishing my romances on Nook and Kindle.  Finally: I was a published author!  I knew I'd be successful because who could resist a nice little romance with a hint of spice?  Apparently a LOT of people could, and you want to know why?  Because all of a sudden the big rage was a little something called "50 Shades of Gray".

Lord knows I'm not trying to give that book any more publicity, but it has blown up like Mentos in diet coke.  Even Brie bought the books on her phone, and hasn't bought any of mine yet!!  I know it's the height of naughtiness with S&M and all kinds of sexual kink in it, and someone like the New York Post dubbed it "mommy porn".  However, I know I'll never read that book because it's waaayy too much for me.  Yet that author is making money hand over fist (no pun intended!) and I'm not.  Is that really all people want these days: raw sex that people try to say is a "love story"? 

If so, I'll just have to stick with my romances.  You have to leave something to the imagination, don't you?  However, if I ever do decide to lay it all out there, I'll write a novel that joins the two leading genres: sex and the undead.  So if you come across an e-book entitled "50 Shades of Vampires", make sure you buy it!  It'll be a satirical look at what people are filling their reading hours with, complete with sex scenes (yikes!)! After all, I have to do something to shake my sales up a bit.

Happy reading!  And by that I mean "Dancing In A Minefield", Southern Hospitality", "Three's The Charm" and "A Good Place to Start! 😉