I used to be a radio station deejay in this area for an oldies station, and I loved it. But even though it seems like you’re getting paid to do nothing but listen to music, you really don’t have too much time to kick back and listen to what you’re playing. You have to cue up your next commercial/song, take phone calls, make sure the news guy is ready to go on, read the weather…you’ve got a pretty full plate.
One Sunday afternoon, I let a friend twist my arm into going to my favorite local restaurant for lunch. Well, maybe twist is too strong of a word: he said “hungry?” and I did a u-turn in the middle of the road to go to the Peppermill.
Regardless of how I ended up there, we began to peruse the menu; even though I have it memorized and could quote it in my sleep. My old radio station was playing in the background. “Oh how fun, it’s Dave’s station,” I commented, trying to decide between the hot roast beef sandwich and the sirloin steak salad. Even though Dave no longer owns the station, that’s still how I refer to it.
Suddenly an old Neil Diamond song came on, one I had probably played 30 times over the years. But for some reason, on this day I happened to start listening to what he was singing, and then I started thinking...wtf?
Let’s start with the name of the song: “Cracklin’ Rosie”. Why, exactly, was this her name? What, exactly, did the ‘cracklin’ part signify? Were her clothes too starchy? Did she have cellophane in her pockets? Did she wear so much make-up her face cracked when she smiled? Or was she from the south and sold fried pork products from a roadside stand?
While we were listening to Mr. Diamond, it made me think of another song he had recorded that had an aura of ridiculousness to it. How about “I Am, I Said”? Apparently he said this to no one there, and no one heard him not even the chair? I understand putting words together for the sake of a rhyming scheme, but shouldn’t those words make at least a modicum of sense?
And it isn’t just Neil Diamond. What about the song “Tarzan Boy” by Baltimora? Was he on his own like Tarzan boy because he lived in the jungle, lived with animals, or didn’t bathe? That will certainly keep you alone!
“Vienna Calling” by Falco is a favorite of song of mine, but the only words in English are “Vienna Calling”. So nothing makes sense! But you can dance to it, and trust me: I have!
And we probably shouldn’t even delve into the world of rap! I’ll mention one name: Juvenile. Forget rhyme scheme, forget sense, you can’t understand a word he says except the word “Hah!” But he does wear a lot of nice bling, even if he does sound like Mush mouth from Fat Albert. Brie was out one night at her favorite club and the song “Back That A$$ Up” by Juvenile came on. One of her exes came up to dance with her and decided to sing along with Juvenile. According to her, this is what Dev was singing: “Heebie jeebie he said, and then they said, vouléz vous couché may, who-dee-hoo yay!” Seriously: and what‘s with the French, Dev? Do you really think that those are the words? But then again: who knows what the words are, so maybe he was right! And every time Brie tells me this story I laugh and laugh because I can just picture it. Love you Dev!
How about when you hear a hip hop song on the radio, and you like the beat, you like the lyrics and you go to iTunes to download it. Then you realize you are now listening to the uncensored version and your ears start to bleed? This happened to me when I downloaded a beautiful song by Drake. “Baby You’re the Best” is such a pretty song, and one that you’d like for your significant other to sing to you. But in the uncensored version not only are you the best, you’re the f*&king best, over and over again. Perhaps this can be viewed as a compliment, but by the 20th time he sings it: not so much.
However, if I was going to be perfectly honest I do have to say that for some reason, there is a song that has a lot of naughty words in it but I don’t mind because it just sounds so…dirty and sexy. (Don’t tell my mother!) It’s “Gravel Pit” by the Wu-Tang Clan. Between Method Man, Ghost Face, U-God and Raekwon they rap some hardcore lyrics but the way they play out in the song: it’s golden. And plus: somehow it doesn’t seem to be gratuitous profanity. So I’m giving Wu-Tang a pass.
But as for those other songs: who am I to judge? Whether I understand the premise, words or not, profanity or not, there is SOMEBODY out there who is saying, “Hey, that’s my favorite song!”
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