Why I Will Always Live With Kitty

There are many reasons why I will always live with Kitty, such as she’s my daughter, I love her, and she’s very entertaining, helps with bills and loves to vacuum.  However, there’s an even bigger reason why she will always be my roommate…

It had been a very rough week, and on this particular Friday night I just wanted to kick back and relax after dinner.  After all: I deserved it!  Kitty was in her room, and I decided to watch reruns of “Reba” and enjoy some Cheetos and a juice box.  The cats were keeping me company, so it was going to be a good night!

Presently, as it was getting to a really good part of one of my favorite episodes, I heard a tiny little noise.  It wasn’t me crunching on the Cheetos, so it must have been the cats.  I looked to my left: Charlie was sleeping on a chair.  I looked to my right: Luna was sleeping on another chair.  Something told me to look up.  My eyes slowly traveled up the wall and there, perched on the wall like a painting, was a bat!

A couple of things went through my mind at this point:  like it was February and technically bats were supposed to be hibernating; how exactly was the bat clinging to the sheer face of the wall in the first place, and a pest control person had told me that to get rid of a bat you turned on lights in all the rooms except the one with the window or door so the bat would automatically fly out.  This seemed perfectly rational, but seeing the bat on my wall made rationality moot. 

Luckily, I had a broom pretty close to where I was sitting, since earlier I had planned to sweep the floor and that didn’t happen.  As I observed the bat, I realized that it was moving very slowly because it KNEW it was supposed to be hibernating and not hanging out on my living room wall like a wall safe.  I figured that I could knock it down with the broom and then sweep it out the door.  So I very slowly reached for the broom, got my hand around the handle, and prepared to lift it up. However, I had no foreshadowing of the events to come.  Such as the bat sensing my movement, and then spreading its 7-foot pterodactyl wings and taking flight!

When this happened I did what any other person would do under the circumstances:  I screamed like a little girl, dropped the broom and started running around the living room, waving my hands around my head to keep the bat from landing!  This woke up the cats who thought I was playing some kind of new game.  They saw me running, saw the bat flying, and then they started trying to chase the bat.  So now I not only had to keep the pre-historic Jurassic pterodactyl bat from setting up a condo in my hair, but I also had to keep from stepping on the cats.

At some point during this scene from a horror movie, I remembered that Kitty was in her room.  All I had to do was make it there, and she’d do something about the bat because she’s fearless!  She’s a warrior!  She’s the great and powerful Kitty!  So I headed in the direction of her room: but just like in the movie Poltergeist, all of a sudden the hall elongated and the door got further away!  Now I was hysterical, running down the hall until I finally managed to get to the door.  I turned the handle: it was locked!  So I pounded on the door, screaming her name. “Kitty!  Kitty!” 

I heard her voice on the other side. “Who is it?”

“It’s your mother!”  I yelled.  “Let me in!”

“What’s going on out there?”  SHE STILL HADN’T UNLOCKED THE DOOR!

“There’s a bat out here!!”

“What do you mean a bat?  It’s winter and they’re hibernating.”

“Open the freakin’ door!”

Finally she opened the door and I fell inside her room.  “Mom, are you sure it’s a bat?”

“Yes I’m sure.  Can you take care of it?”

“Of course I can.  You stay here and rest.”  She put on her leopard print slippers and a safari hat (don’t ask), grabbed her butterfly net and out the bedroom door she went as I huddled in a heap on the floor by her bed.  I kept a fearful eye on the little slit under her door in case the predator managed to subdue my daughter and came looking for me again!

I never heard any noise, but she came back a few minutes later.  “All set mom.  You’re safe now.”

“What did you do with it?”

She looked at me like I was simple.  “I took it outside and let it go.”

“You let it go???  So it can come back??”

“It’s not going to come back.”

“Yes it is and then what will I do?”

“Mom, it won’t come back.  Sheesh, what do you want to do: move?”

My eyes lit up and I literally grabbed her and shook her.  “Yes, that’s exactly what we’ll do!  We’ll move!  We don’t even need to pack: let’s just get in the car and go!”

There was a decided look of alarm on her face.  “Calm down!  We are not moving!  I’ll make you a cup of tea so you’ll feel better.”

“Tea, yes, okay.  Thank you Kitty. I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t been here.”

So she made me a cup of her special witch’s brew tea (again, don’t ask) and tucked me into my own bed like the good daughter she is.  However, for the next 2 weeks, I slept with all the lights on and with one eye open, just in case…

And that is why Kitty will always be my roommate!  But I wonder: how does she feel about it? :)

Worth The Wait?

After church today, I had to stop at Hannaford to pick up some food for the greedy and unemployed pets. (Seriously, I know they don't have opposable thumbs but surely they could so something). As I was getting out of the car Marie (yes, she was riding shotgun!) says, "If you see anything in there with my name on it you can go ahead and get it for me." Really Marie?? But I digress...

Anyhoo, I go in the store, grab a cart and slowly make my way through the store. When I had all of my purchases, I realized I hadn't gotten anything for Marie. Having limited funds, I tried to think of something economical I could get, and that led me to the cookie aisle. She loves the Anna's Ginger Thins, and after some real searching I found them on a lower shelf. Then I proceeded to meander my way down the cookie aisle, trying to decide what kind of cookie I would buy, if I was in the mood for cookies.  Eventually, I ended up at the Oreos, America's greatest cookie. And they're always on sale! But I had eaten some last week, so I wasn't even tempted.

Then I looked up, way up on the top shelf, and I saw them: Nabisco's Famous Wafers.  If you aren't familiar with this cookie, it comes in an oblong yellow box with a cellophane cover so you can actually see the famous wafers. They are what looks like a flat dark chocolate cookie thin. There's no description on the box, but there are a couple of recipes on the bottom. And the price: since it's on the top shelf, it's a whopping $4.69!

Now, I have been noticing these Famous Wafers since I was a child. But I've never had one. Why? I really can't say.  I always think about buying them. I think about what they might taste like. Yet maybe, since it's on the top shelf, like fine liquor, I think they're overpriced. Do I really want to take the chance of buying a pack of cookies, paying top dollar, and then finding out I don't like them? However, I do love dark chocolate. And I do love Nabisco cookies.  So maybe...

Okay, now that I'm obsessing about these cookies, I can do one of 2 things. I can wait until payday and plunk down the $4.69 to buy a package, or I can wait until my birthday and have someone else pay for them!  But will that count towards a real present, so I'm gypped on something else??  Looking at it from that angle, I think I'll buy them myself.  But after coveting them for 40 years: they'd better be worth the wait!

I'll let you know... :-)

Queen of My Soul

I've had music in my soul since I was a toddler. I couldn't imagine my life without music in it; and of course I believe I have exquisite, and eclectic, taste in music.  I am also good at loving songs that no one else seems to remember.  My sister always says I'm making them up because she doesn't remember any of them. I tell her it's because I have a memory like an elephant when it comes to music.  Plus, I worked at an oldies radio station which helped to refresh my musical memory.

I'll give you an example: everyone knows the song "Feelings" by Morris Albert, because everyone hates that sappy song.   But how many people remember the song that I think I want for my first dance with my husband: "Sweet Loving Man" by Morris Albert? NOBODY!!  That song is so romantic, and sexy, and so un-like "Feelings", yet I'm the only person who knows it.  Why is that? Guess you'll have to come to my wedding to hear it!

Here's another one: "Simone" by Henry Gross.  Now everyone remembers "Shannon", which I never liked.  Again, my sister said it was one of my "imaginary" songs. So not true!

Here's a list of 11 awesome songs that no one else seems to remember, but I have them on CD and cassette tape.  How many people can still brag about having cassettes made in the 60's, that still play?? Certron, you ROCKED!!

• "Right Relations" by Johnny Rivers. Never shows up on any of his "best of" compilations, but it's his best song ever.
• "Work To Do" and "A Love of Your Own" by AWB. Those white boys from Scotland had more soul than some black groups I know.  They were much more than just "Pick Up the Pieces".
• "Duncan" by Paul Simon.  Such a gut-wrenching song that gets me right in the heart.
• "That Girl" by Crosby, Stills and Nash. Maybe no one knows it because Young wasn't there?
• "Mississippi" by John Phillips. I think it may have been about a prostitute, but maybe that's just me. Not me as a prostitute, haha!
• "25th of Last December" by Roberta Flack.  Talk about a heartbreaker - and it's impossible to find.
• "At Last" by the Fatback Band.  Forget Etta James - this is the version I'm walking down the aisle to!  You know how I love a hot sax...
• "Jesus for Tonight" by Michel Polnareff. He was cute, he was French, I saw him once on American Bandstand but the song still resonates with me.
• "Beyond the Blue Horizon" by Lou Christie.  They play like...22 seconds of this song in the movie "Rain Man" while Tom Cruise and Dustin Hoffmann are driving off across the plains...
• "Never Let Go" by Eastbound Expressway.  Maybe one of the reasons I couldn't find it was because I thought it was the Trans Europe Expressway.  Great dance tune from the late 70's; we used to tear up the dance floor at the Golden Grill in Saratoga back in the day.  Ahhh: memories!  Shout out to the crew of engineers we knew and danced with from RPI!!

Anyhoo, that's just a few of my "imaginary" tunes.  Trust me: there are many more, but I'll let you take the time to YouTube these to see if they're real!

Celebrating the Olympics

Unless you've been living in a biosphere, everyone knows that the Olympic Opening Ceremonies were last Friday. I like the Olympics and can admire the dedication and determination of the athletes, but I've never really sat down to watch the opening ceremonies.

This year was no different.  There was no time to watch anything: we had shopping to do at Wal-Mart and had to go to the Olive Garden for dinner! The food was so good, and Brie loves their Roscato wine.  She had a couple of glasses of it at dinner, so she was feeling pretty good because red wine  hits her more than white.

Anyhoo, we finally got home and she decided to have one more glass (yes, she had a bottle at home).  We were pretending we were watching WWE Smackdown: I was in the kitchen on the computer and Brie was just talking and enjoying her wine.  When she was finished, and wrestling was over, we flipped through channels and the Olympics were still on.  They had talked earlier about how the Queen had jumped out of a plane and parachuted into the ceremonies, even though it was a hoax.

So...this made Brie decide that she needed to do something to commemorate the opening ceremonies of the Olympics as well.  She decides, after 3 glasses of wine, to do a cheer in the kitchen.  I looked up from the computer to see exactly how she was going to do this.  She gets in the middle of the floor, says a little cheer, and then jumps up to do a split in the air.  As I watched her leap, I realized 2 things: 1) she can't do a split; and 2) she was going to hit the lowered part of the ceiling.

Sure enough: her hands went up and it was like slow-motion: her right hand hit the ceiling.  She yelped in pain as she came back down and bent over.  I didn't dare laugh: what if she'd broken something?  She kept saying, "Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow" over and over and I felt really bad for her.  She finally lifted up her head and said, "Are you laughing?" "No!  Are you hurt?  Do you need to go to the emergency room?"  "I'm okay," she said, holding her hand and pouting.  She looked up again and there were tears in my eyes.  "Oh go ahead and laugh: I know you want to mom!" and I burst out laughing. I'm sorry but that was one of the funniest things I'd seen in a long time, and I had tears in my eyes from trying to hold back the laughter. Don't worry: she laughed too.  I felt bad for 2 reasons: 1) I know it hurt; and 2) I know it blew her wine buzz.

So that's how we celebrated the opening of the Olympics.  I wonder what she's going to do for the closing ceremonies????

😀

Next Time We'll Do Lunch

I was really optimistic that today was going to be a good day.  My sister decided that she wasn't going to go to the salon this morning, so it was just me and Kitty.  I thought we'd be done in time to go to the Peppermill for breakfast, but Annette was a little backed up so we missed breakfast there.  Brie called to see what we were doing, so we decided to go have breakfast at Denny's.

Don't get me wrong: we like Denny's.  Judging by my waistline, you can tell I really like their dinner rolls.  But it was noon without a roll in sight, so we settled on breakfast.  But I knew we were in trouble as soon as the waitress got to our table.  Let's just say I could tell she wasn't part of the "A" team. She brought our drinks and managed to slosh Kitty's on the table and my hand, and forgetting my drink.  Then she comes to mop it up and misses half of it. I give her my simple order of an original grand slam and she asks what I want in it.  Um...whatever it says on the menu it comes with, thanks.  Then Brie asked her about the cheese sauce for her omelette, and she kept talking about the cheese inside.  When Brie got tired of trying to explain her question, she just said to fix it however it said on the menu.

When she comes back with our food, Kitty's is perfect. My eggs are overcooked and Brie can't identify the meats in her omelette. Plus she didn't even get the cheese sauce!  When she mentions this the girl goes back and comes out with a saucer of spicy cheese and jalepeno.  Nope: Brie can't eat that!  So while Kitty enjoyed her picture-perfect meal, I could only eat part of my pancakes and Brie ate part of her not-totally-cooked hash browns and played the game of is it prime rib? chorizo? or bacon in my mouth? The world may never know, and we sure didn't want to ask!

The second best part was when the girl was vacuuming around us and told Brie how much she liked her designer bag.  "Was it expensive?" she asked. "I got it for a good price." "Where?" "New York City." "Oh it's fake, huh?" The indignant look on Brie's face was priceless, as was the fact she was speechless.

The girl came around again and noticed Kitty's footwear. "Those are cool sandals.  Did you get them at TJ Maxx?" "No, at Wal-Mart." "Do they come in black?" "I'm sure they come in many assorted colors." "Does the thing between your toes hurt?" "No." "I'd like to get a pair if they're not going to hurt my toes."  For heaven's sake: they were flip flops!

Finally we couldn't stand it anymore and went to pay and leave: not that I wanted to pay for Brie's debacle of an omelette!  But here's the best part of all: we got up to leave and were heading for the register.  This older couple had just come in and the hostess was getting ready to show them to their table.  The woman stops and says, "Excuse me, but I have to ask a question.  Are you two twins?" She was indicating me and Brie!!!

Well I felt like a million bucks as Brie fumed, and I said, "No we're not twins because she's older." Then the lady and I shared a laugh, which Brie did not.  How awesome was that for me??  It made up for the less than stellar late breakfast.  For me, at least!

As Brie stomped to the car she said, "Next time I don't care what time it is.  We're going to the Peppermill!"

>--<

July 20th

I was sitting here at my computer pretending that I was working on my new manuscript, when in reality I was playing 5 roll.  I really thought that this was the year that I would have my Saratoga Track/love story finished by opening day of the Flat track, but since I just found out 2 days ago that the track will be open July 20th, I don't think that's going to happen.  Granted, I only have 3 chapters left to write, but I know my limitations and between working overtime, house stuff, trying to find time to sleep, catching up on shows that are DVR'ed: there's just not going to be enough time.  Sigh...

Anyhoo, as I was sitting here playing 5 Roll, I also have my Windows Media Player playing.  Suddenly, the song "Running Away" by Roy Ayers Ubiquity came on, and I was immediately transported back to the year 1978.  It was August, I was in Saratoga at the Golden Grill Disco, and I was always on the dance floor.  I remember it like it was yesterday: the heat of the place since it was summer, what "fashions" we were wearing, who I was dancing with and even some of the people that were there.  When I say we, I'm referring to my cousins Denise and Ivy, my very good friend Vicky and her cousins Joan and Nancy.  During August, all of the track people from Belmont came up and you'd meet people that you knew you'd only see again if they showed up in Saratoga the next year.

The song by Roy Ayers always reminds me of a tracker that we called "Billy the White Negro."  We called him this because although he had black features, his skin was white and he had gray eyes.  He was cute and he was a good dancer.  But honest to goodness we could never understand a word he said.  Perhaps he was latino and we were too young and sheltered to realize, or maybe he was just drunk or stoned and slurring his words.  Regardless, we'd always dance with him and smile and nod if he said anything.  I wonder what ever happened to him?  The last time I saw him was probably 1981...and with the way that drugs were growing rampant among the track crowd, I'm pretty sure Billy was a casualty...

But other people that I remember from that year were the 3 Butches: Big Butch, Little Butch, and Tiny Tot Butch.  Tiny Tot Butch was this little groom who worked at the track, and he couldn't have been more than 5 feet tall.  Little Butch was a white art student from Skidmore that surprised us with how well he could dance, with his hat, goatee, jeans and fringed vest. Not the typical guy that frequented the Grill!  Big Butch was a big black guy that only showed up occasionally, but he became a good friend of ours.

There was also Ricky, and we loved him. He was in love with our beautiful friend Joan, yet she didn't return those particular feelings.  His brother toothless Ralph, who was fine as was wine but like his nickname said: he had no front teeth.  I'l have to tell you a story about him sometime!  There was Sly, who always danced in flip flops.  Donnie: who didn't dance but sold a lot of drugs (not to us!).  Spud, the eternal stud. Danny, who had a wife and kids at home but didn't want that fact to get out.  And a whole slew of other guys that I'm sure we've long forgotten...

But Saratoga in August was truly the place to be!  Well for us it was more being at the Grill every weekend.  We danced, hung out, met new people, made out with a few guys (hey,we were young and it was still the 70's!), sweat a lot, stayed out too late but still made it to work the next day...Man, there are times when I wish I could turn back the clock to that fun, carefree time when I was thin, gorgeous and in demand: and me and my "crew" were closer than sisters.

Where are they now?  Vicky ended up marrying Donnie, straightening him out and now she works for the federal government.  Denise is in the insurance field, and her sister Ivy is a personal trainer.  Neither one of them keeps in touch.  Sadly, Nancy died a few years ago of cancer.  She fought the good fight, but we lost one of the world's great partiers.  We miss you Nancy!!  And her sister Joan has remarried, but I lost touch with her after Nancy died.

We may  not still be together, but I bet that they share the same nostalgic feelings when or if they hear any of our old "songs".  I just hope they have happy memories too!

In the meantime, I have 8 minutes to get to bed.  I'm glad I took the time to jot down this post.  I'm going to share a few more Saratoga stories with you over the course of the next couple of weeks, since it's obvious I won't have the book completed! Sigh...maybe before the meet is over?  Stay tuned!

Day Is Done

Well today is officially Kitty's birthday and I am spent.  I'm declaring Kitty-pa-looza over. I am waving the white flag.  We went out to dinner and had cake afterwards.  But here's how my day went before any festivities had begun:

I took today off because it's Kitty's birthday, so she went to program.  That's okay because I had a mammogram scheduled for 11:30.  But I wasn't feeling that great so I slept in, but I got to the doctor's on time.  So after that yearly indignity, I got dressed and realized I had to go to the mall to finish Kitty's birthday shopping.

It was pretty hot out and I sat in the car with the air conditioner on, contemplating if I really needed to go to the mall. But I valiantly headed up there and found a good parking spot at the entrance closest to Claire's.  I slowly made my way through Sears, up the ramp, and into the store.  It was easy for me to spot what Kitty wanted, because last week she had gone there and taken pictures of everything she wanted, put the pictures in a photo gallery on her phone and sent it to me.  I can't make this stuff up!

After Claire's I wanted to check out JC Penney for some capris, but it was all the way at the other end of the mall.  It was too hot to go back to the car and drive all the way around, so against my better judgment I decided to trudge through the mall to the other end.  That's something I never do, but figured that even though I still didn't feel great at least Penney's is known for having really clean bathrooms...

As I went through I saw that Aeropostale was having a sale.  Figuring they wouldn't have anything in my size, I thought I'd take a peek in.  Lo and behold: they had some nice t-shirts in my size for just $5!  I bought 2 as a reward for making it that far.  Then I slowly continued on with my journey until I reached Bath & Body Works.  I had seen online that they were having my favorite sale: Cashmere Shea and True Blue Spa: buy 2 get 2 free.  I went in but noticed thier sign said buy 2 get 1 free.  I asked an employee about it, and when I told her about the online sale she replied, "Oh that is a good sale!"  But since they weren't running it in the store, I left empty handed.

I was finally almost at my destination when I decided to look in the pet store at the puppies.  There was a Chihuahua, not cuter than Pumpkin, of course, but just for kicks I asked how old it was and what the gender was.  It was a 3-month old male and it had a different shaped head, which was a deer head or deer nose or something. My questions were answered and I was ready to go when the girl asked me, "Do you want to play with him?"  Shoot, I had some time to kill and who doesn't love a puppy? We went in the playroom, she shut the door, and all hell broke loose!  That puppy first ran like a crazy thing around the little room, then he started chewing on the bow on my cute little shoe!  When I got him to stop that: then he chewed on my foot!  I tried to pet him and he tried to bite my fingers!  I was sooo done with this puppy!  And if he was only 3 months old then I was too because his teeth were bigger than Pumpkin's and she's almost 3 YEARS old!

I called out to the girl to come get him and she said, "I'll be there in a minute!  Oh, and he's teething."  No, the dog was biting!  I tried to flag down one of the other employees, and by this time the puppy had latched on to the bottom of my cropped pants!  I had my foot off the floor and the hellion was dangling in the air by my pant leg as I was trying to shake him loose!  Once I got him disattached, he peed on the floor for good measure as the girl finally came to get him.  "So what did you think of our boy?" she asked brightly.  "I think you're going to have him for a long time," I replied as I limped out of the store.

By that time the last thing I wanted to do was look for capris, but JCP was right next door so I limped in, found a pair, and trudged all the way back through to Sears and outside to my car.  It was hot as blazes and I sat in front of the air conditioner, exhausted not from the walk but from fighting off that darn puppy.  I'm telling you: next time I'm going to drive around the mall, no matter how hot it is!!