Thinking About Going Vegetarian

Everyone who knows me, knows that I LOVE beef.  Steak, pot roast, beef stew: you name it, and I’ll eat it!  One of the guys at work calls me “meat lady”, because he knows how much I love it. For my birthday he gave me a gift card to a store called “Just Meat”.  Need I say more?

I have a couple of places that are my favorite for buying beef.   I love Hannaford; and any day (or many days!) of the week you can find me prowling around the meat counter, drooling over the cuts of beef, imagining which ones I’ll buy and promising to come back for them.  Sure the butchers look at me askance, but who cares.  The beef is so alluring!

There’s a butcher place not far from where I live. I’m not going to name it, but they have wonderful beef and each week something wonderful and new is on sale.  One time they had prime rib for $5.99 a pound, so the girls and I had that for Christmas Eve dinner. Yum, yum!  And another time they had filet mignon on sale for $7.99 a pound.  It was so delicious!

So I had been waiting for a few months for that filet special to show up again and finally it did!  By now though it was $8.99 a pound but I didn’t care: I was going to buy a pound of it for me since both girls were working.  I went there after work one afternoon and marched myself past the deli counter and into the wonderful butcher emporium.  I perused the marvelous cuts of beef, and a butcher I hadn’t seen before approached the counter.  “Can I help you?”

“Yes, I’d like a pound of the filet mignon,” I replied, barely able to contain my giddiness.

“Oh I’m sorry, but we only sell them whole.”

I was crestfallen.  “What?  Last time I bought a single one.”

“Well, if you really want one, I guess I could cut one for you.”

Dejected, I said, “That’s okay; don’t go to any bother.”  I looked at what else was on sale and noticed the New York Strip, which I also like.  “Um…just give me a strip please.”

“Okay, but I don’t think the other customers would appreciate me on the counter taking off my clothes.”

When he said this I looked up and started laughing, that remark was so unexpected.  So I came back with, “But I have a wallet full of singles!” and he laughed too.  He was really cute: taller than me, dark hair, pretty eyes and apparently a good sense of humor.  He picked out a nice NY Strip steak for me and wrapped it up.  As he handed it to me he said, “Listen, sometimes when a person buys a whole filet, they want us to cut it for them and there’s a piece left over.  If someone does this tonight or tomorrow, would you like for us to call you?”

That was a no-brainer.  “That would be great!” I enthused.  “Okay, let me write down your number and hopefully we can work something out for you.”  I gave him my number and happily went to the cashier to pay for my steak, hope springing up in me that I would get a filet.

I got home, started changing my clothes and the phone rang.  “Hi, it’s Rob the butcher.  I just wanted to let you know that a customer came in and bought a whole filet, and there’s a 9 ounce piece left over.  Would you like it?”  “I sure would!  How late are you open?”  “We close at 7.”  I looked at the clock and it was 6:30.  “I’ll be there in 5 minutes.”

When I got to the shop, he held out the filet.  “Is this good?”  “You have just made me the happiest woman in New York State!” I replied.  “Well then my work here is done.  Here you go.”  “Thank you so much Rob, and if you have any more pieces left over before the sale is over, keep me in mind!”  “I will!”

I went home, made that filet and ate it.  It was sooo good! I was very happy; then settled down to watch “Everybody Loves Raymond” with the pets.  About 15 minutes in, I got a text message. “It’s Rob the butcher.  I just wanted to check and see if the filet was to your liking.”  I immediately texted back, “It was awesome!  Thanks again.”  From him: “No problem.  Is it okay that I texted you?”   I replied, “Sure, anyone that can provide me with filet mignon can text away, haha!”  And with that, we texted back and forth until almost 1:30 in the morning!

Now things like this don’t usually happen to me, but I figured that God had finally answered my prayers for the man of my dreams: a butcher, to keep me in red meat forever!  Hallelujah!

However, that isn’t exactly how it went.  We texted that night, then all through the next day and until almost 2 in the morning.  But then, the texts…kind of veered to the left.  As you can imagine, after a couple of days the tone changed to a very sexual one, and as much as I tried to move on to another path, he liked the one he was on.  I told him that if he was looking for a one night stand, a hit it and quit it situation or sexting, then I wasn’t for him.  He swore out he didn’t do one night stands either, but unfortunately his texts seemed to suggest otherwise.  And then, the piece de resistance: he sent me a picture of his own “filet”!  When I saw that honest to God my eyes got warm!  I asked him WTH and he said that he wanted me to see what he had to offer, gave me his address (like 4 blocks away!), told me to come over and we’d “hang out”.  I told him it looked like he was already “hanging out” and called him "Stranger Danger"! What kind of nutjob would I be if I showed up at his door?  “But I’ve got candles,” he said.  Dude, seriously?

So that was the end of that!  It took a long time for me to venture back in there.  When I look back, it makes me wonder what kind of impression I was giving that made him think it would be okay to send me “junk mail”?  Ugh!  I had thought about talking to his manager to let him know what one of his employees was doing with customers’ phone numbers, but figured someone else would beat me to the punch; and they did.  He was dismissed, thank goodness. So now my loyalty lies with Hannaford, with second place going to Price Chopper.  And so far: no "junk" mail from their butchers! I count that as a serious win.

The Second Coming

With all the hype going on about “May 21^st” supposedly being the end of the world according to some religious groups, I’m going to give a very short opinion about that.  I actually read the entire article that was on MSN about how this group came up with the formula to predict the exact end of the world.  All of their sources supposedly came from the Bible, and they coordinated all the calendars to line up the dates to come to this date of May 21^st.   Well, it may have sounded “plausible” in theory, and I loved all the numbers and dates that they had in that long article.  However, they kind of lost their credibility when they wrote, “And by using these calendars we see that Jesus was born in the year 7 BC.”  7 BC?   How did that happen?  According to them, Jesus was born 7 years before he was even born.  Was that the true miracle of Christmas?  I think they need to go back and recalculate!

And they also said, “No man knows when our Lord will return.”  Um…then why are you telling us it’s going to be May 21^st????  If no one knows, then why are you throwing that date out there??  Darn charlatans!  Anyone who buys into this truly needs to go back to their Bible and what it says.

And now that we have that out of the way, I’m going to tell you one of my favorite recent stories involving Brie.  One thing about her is that she is the deepest sleeper I have ever come across.  She has slept through everything: a hurricane, a tornado, an explosion at a plant that we used to live very close to, her sister cutting her underwear when they were children (don’t ask!) and me screaming when the cat scared me while I was watching a scary movie and Brie was right on the couch!  So I have told her for years: “Brie, when the trumpet sounds, you are going to sleep through the second coming.  There will be no one left but you and your twin sister Luna.”  She just laughs and says, “No, I’m pretty sure I’ll hear that!”  Will you Brie?

Last Halloween Kitty was invited to a party and needed me to drive her there.  So after church I took my mother out to lunch and then went home, and by the time I had changed my clothes and straightened up a bit Kitty was in her costume and ready to go.  I asked her if she had told her sister we were leaving and she said she was sleeping.  I then decided to let Pumpkin ride along with us, since it took like 20 minutes to get to Christina’s house where the party was.  I put her in her pink Pumpkin carrier and carried her to the car.  I noticed that there were hardly any cars in our parking lot, and wondered where all the kids were.  Oh well, maybe everyone else was at Halloween parties too.  With that thought, the three of us were on our way!

After dropping Kitty off, I decided that it would be nice to stop off at my mother’s so Pumpkin could visit with her and my sister.  So I pulled into their driveway and picked up Pumpkin’s carrier.  It wasn’t until I was at the front door that I realized I had left my cell phone in the cup holder; but since I wasn’t expecting any calls I didn’t bother to go back to get it.  I let Pumpkin visit with great-granny and auntie Robin for an hour or so; then finally we got back in the car to go home until it was time to pick up Kitty.

As I was driving and neared where I’d turn into our parking lot, I noticed again a total lack of cars except for one.  Then as I turned in, I saw a rather odd sight.  It was Brie standing outside by her car.  When she saw me, she started yelling and gesticulating.  Of course I couldn’t understand what she was saying because I was in the car. When I finally parked and opened the door she shouted, “Where were you?  Why didn’t you answer your phone?”

“What’s the matter with you?” I asked, grabbing Pumpkin’s carrier.  “What are you doing outside?”

“I woke up and no one was here!  Pumpkin’s always here and she didn’t answer when I called!  I said ‘hoo-dat hoo-dat hoo-dat hoo’ and she didn’t come!  I turned the corner and there was Luna, just looking at me as she cleaned her paw!  I couldn’t find Victoria!  There was no one here but me and Luna!  Then I called you and no answer.  I called Kitty and no answer.  NO one answered their phone and you weren’t here!”

I started laughing at her hysterics.  “And…?”

“And I thought I’d missed the trumpet!  I thought everyone was gone but me and Luna!  I even came outside, and there were no cars: just the wind blowing little pieces of paper around and there wasn’t a soul in sight!  I thought I’d been left behind!”

By this time I was laughing so hard I was almost crying.  “Brie, I took Kitty to her party and she probably doesn’t have her phone on.  Then I took Punky to visit grandma and Robin, and I left my phone in the car because I wasn’t expecting any calls.”

“Well if you look at your phone now you’ll see I called you four times,” she pouted.  “Don’t scare me like that again!”

I was so sorry that she’d been afraid she’d slept through the trumpet.  But it was still funny to me!

So with that said, let’s not waste any time worrying about May 21^st.  The Lord will come when he’s good and ready; not when some religious fanatics declare it.  And I'm sure He'll take Brie and Luna.  ‘Nuff said!

Mother's Day...?

I am still recovering from my illness.  It's been 3 weeks now.  Good grief!  Since I spent most of this Mother's Day in bed, I'm going to share with you one of my former Mother's Day stories to let you know why now I kind of like to celebrate by myself:

One thing I love about holidays is you never know what the kids will get you.  I especially had no idea what I was in for on this particular Mother’s Day!

It started off well: Schmoop-dog and I went to church; then he took me out to lunch.    The sun was shining, birds were singing: all was right with the world.  Or was it?

We stopped by my parents’ to drop off some things for my mother: flowers and a card with a little something in it for her enjoyment.  However, when we arrived my mother asked, “Have you called home lately?”

These words never boded well.  “No.”

“I received a call from there and I think your daughters are trying to kill each other.”

“Okay then.”

Instead of calling, I decided to just head home.  Creeping up the stairs, I heard no WWIII sounds, which meant nothing.  By the way: my daughters loved each other and were each other’s allies.  But every so often: look out!

We entered the empty kitchen.  Rounding the corner into the living room I found Brie in a chair and no sign of Her Majesty; and it looked like a tornado had gone through the room!  “What happened?!”

“Kitty tried to kill me!”

I studied the rubble: the phone was torn from the wall, a broken video tape was in the middle of the room, and the couch cushions were askew. By this time Kitty had emerged.  “Mom, I hate Brie!  She hit me in the head!”

I glowered at Brie, who quickly recanted: “No I didn’t!  She was trying to kill me so I got up from the computer and went to run, and my elbow accidentally might have hit her in the head.”

“How was your elbow by her head?”

“Um, I kind of raised my arms and…”

“That’s enough!” I snapped.  “What about this room?”

“Brie was taking too much time on the computer and I wanted to use it.  She called me a name so I threw a videotape at her – “  “At my head!”  “- and it broke.  I’m sorry I broke your tape mom.”

I picked up the pieces.  “It’s not my tape Kitty, it’s yours.  Why’s the phone cord torn?”

“I wanted to call Grandma again but Kitty snatched the phone from me and tore it from the wall!

“And the couch?”

“When she threatened me I got on the couch to get away from her and she grabbed my arm and started twisting it!  She tried to break it!”

I threw up my hands in exasperation.  “Why is it always my stuff that gets destroyed?  Both of you go to your room and if I hear any noise, arguing, grumbling or anything I’m coming in there!”

“Thanks a lot Brie!” Kitty muttered as she stormed off, followed by her sister.

All through this Schmoop hadn’t uttered a peep.  But now he turned to me and said, “Happy Mother’s Day!”

Now that the girls are women it's not that bad, but still: on Saturday I was reminiscing to myself about the wonderful gift I had been given:  a day to myself!  I got my hair done alone, treated myself to lunch alone, went to Harry and David to buy myself some treats alone and even shopped at the Dress Barn and only bought clothes for me.  What an awesome day that was!   Oh well: there's hope for next year 😏

Happy Easter

It's the day after Easter.  I have been sick since last Tuesday, late afternoon.  o I really haven't done much besides lay in bed, cough, get up, cough, watch TV, cough, blow my nose, take meds, cough, pet Pumpkin, cough, and bemoan my fate.  I hate bronchitis.

However, I didn't want my not feeling well to interfere with Easter, so I tried to muster up the energy to enjoy the day.  I did go to church and the service was wonderful.  I then went home and watched the History Channel, which had on a couple of great shows on Jesus; and also what he did during the 40 days after He arose from the dead.  Awesome!!!

Then I made something for dinner.  I was supposed to have people over, but with being sick that wasn't going to happen.  That made me very sad because I love to entertain for the holidays.  But guests get mad if they come over to your house and you cough and then afterwards they get sick; so it was for the best.

Actually, I did have 2 guests.  My mother felt sorry for me so she came over and brought some chicken, stuffing and a sweet potato pie for the girls.  They were ecstatic, as was Pumpkin who loves chicken.  Then later Schmoop-dog showed up after his evening church service. He came probably to see if Kitty had cut the homemade cheesecake she had made; but since she hadn't: he didn't get any.  So he took some of my lasagna home instead.

And since Easter signifies the end of the Lenten season I can now have ice cream and cake!  But with the bronchitis and congestion: guess who got no ice cream?  And didn't have the energy to bake a cake?  So: maybe next week.

And finally: I had sent Skye a text to wish him a Happy Easter but did not receive a text from him.  Bummer...sigh...

So that was Easter in a nutshell.  I loved the church service; and loved the music I heard on the religious station.  But I ate next to nothing and LaToya Jackson got booted from Celebrity Apprentice.  I'll write more about that show later!

I hope you had a Happy Easter and got to spend it with the people you wanted to; instead of the people you had to.  I'll sign off since I can feel the coughing gearing up again.  Double bummer...

The Lesser of Two Evils

I’ve always prided myself on being healthy, but my left leg started bothering me.  Nothing major: just some tingling and numbness in the thigh to knee area.  So I made an appointment with my GP to see what the problem was.

“Maxx,” Dr. Bob began seriously, “you have marelgia paresthetica.”

Oh no!  Not marelgia paresthetica!  I’m too young!  What about my children?  Oh, the humanity!  This is what immediately came to mind.  Then I said, “Um, what exactly is marelgia paresthetica?”

“It’s a condition whereby something presses on the nerve located at the top of the thigh, thereby causing numbing of the nerve which traverses down the leg to the knee area.”

I nodded solemnly.  At least it didn’t sound life threatening!  “What is pressing down on that nerve?”

“Your stomach.”

Well how rude was that?  I guess marelgia paresthetica is Greek for “gut overhang”!  I gave Dr. Bob a dirty look.  “Okay, what do you suggest I do to alleviate this condition?”

“Your two choices are diet or exercise.”

Since I try not to do anything with the word “die” in it, I thought the lesser of the two evils would be exercise.  That’s how I ended up at a place called Motivations to take a spin class.

For those of you lucky enough to not know, spinning is a stationary bicycling class where you can change the bike’s tension to simulate outdoor hill riding, jumps, you stand up on the bike, sit down, speed up, slow down – it all depends on the whims of the taskmaster…I mean instructor.  It’s supposed to be a great workout, and I was sure it would take care of my “gut overhang”.  Besides, everyone bicycles.  How hard could it be?

Ah, famous last words!  “Hard” was just the beginning and only described the tiny seat on the spin bike!  By the time we had been working out for about…three minutes, it felt like an additional bone was growing out of my…tender area.  I was sweating, my legs were shaking, and it was just the warm-up!  How was I going to do an entire hour?

By sheer force of will, that’s how!  My sister was also in the class and had been taking it for about 6 months, but I couldn’t let her show me up.  I’m too competitive!  She didn't know it, but I was having a secret competition with her and had to win! So I gritted my teeth, sucked down my water and pedaled like my evil ex-husband was after me! 

To be honest, I wasn’t able to stay standing for the entire time we were supposed to, but to my credit I never stopped pedaling.  It might have been slow, but the wheels never stopped.

I took the spinning class from July 2003 until February 2004.  And sure enough: my stomach tightened up and the marelgia paresthetica went away.

I continued with spin periodically for the next few years; but unfortunately now I haven't been back for about 2 years.  And although the "gut overhang" hasn't exactly come back, it's friend "muffin top" is trying to rear its ugly head.  So whether I like it or not: it looks like I'll be heading back to Motivations.  After all: Americade is in about 6 weeks and I've got to be in prime form for whatever that weekend might bring!

POWER OUTAGE

I had kind of hemmed and hawed about whether I would blog about this; but humor won out over common sense or shame.  So here’s what happened on Tuesday:

First off, I had met my “dealer” Lynne for a little dinner on Monday night, so she could feed my “addiction” to Avon products while we caught up on each other’s lives.  I won’t say where we went, or what I had, but let me tell you that it gave me a mild case of food poisoning that hit around 2 in the morning.

I’ll leave out the more colorful details of the ensuing episodes, but suffice it to say that by the time I should have been leaving for work Tuesday morning, I was still in bed. I called my supervisor to say that I would be in late as I wasn’t feeling well, and went back to bed.  I was still sweating a bit so I had my little fan pointing directly towards my face and was listening to the classical radio station to soothe my nerves.  This worked for maybe 2 minutes, because suddenly the fan and the radio went off.  Huh, that was strange.  I sat up and looked at the TV and noticed the DVR box was off too.  So that left only one conclusion I could draw.  I looked out my bedroom window, and there was a National Grid truck in the parking area.  My power had been shut off!

My head was spinning.  How could this be?  I had paid them off down to what I figured to be $20!  I had to stop the guy before he left, so I jumped out of bed, and without bothering to put on my pants I raced down the stairs.  I had on a long tee shirt, so I figured I would crack open the front door, get his attention, and then put on some pants when I was sure he wouldn’t leave.

Sounded like a good plan, huh?  And it was.  I cracked open the door to see if he was in the truck; and the next thing I knew Pumpkin snuck out the door and into the parking area! I knew Kitty would kill me if anything happened to Punky, so I pulled down the hem of my tee shirt and went out the door after her, flip flops, sleep bonnet and all.  “Pumpkin, you come back to Grammy!”  Yeah, that’s all she needed to hear.  She wasn’t even running fast: she was just frolicking and kicking up her little puppy heels as she went by my car, and by hunky next-door neighbor Scott’s car, and all around our area.  So now I’m trying to stay close to the garage in case any neighbors were still home, and I was hissing Pumpkin’s name trying to get her to come to me but she was having too much fun; and now had a mouthful of leaves that she knew she wasn’t supposed to have.  What a fun game she was playing with half-naked Grammy!

Just as I thought it couldn’t get any worse, I hear Kitty behind me.  “Mom, what’s going on?  Pumpkin!”  I turned around and there she stood in the doorway, in the shirt she was going to wear to program and no pants.  At least my tee shirt covered my backside, but hers didn’t!  Out the door she comes, and to add to the visual, she stoops down, pats her knees and calls Pumpkin.  And like the brat she is, Pumpkin dropped the leaves and came trotting over to her mama.  Kitty scooped her up, gave me a withering look, and marched back into the house in her pastel panties.

Seriously???   There was no time for her to be upset with me because the dog got out.  I had noticed that there wasn’t anyone in the National Grid truck, so I ran upstairs, put on some pants, threw off my bonnet and ran back outside.  No, there was no time to comb my hair!  I caught up with the guy as he was getting in his truck.

“Excuse me, but why did you turn off my power?”  “Because the bill wasn’t paid.”  “Yes it was!  The last payment was made at the end of March.”  “Sorry, we don’t have a record of it.”  “Well it’s there!  How am I supposed to get the power back on?”  “Pay the bill.”

As you could see, I was getting nowhere with this guy.  Maybe I shouldn’t have put on any pants!  But he sure as heck wasn’t leaving me without power at 8:40 in the morning!   “Fine.  How much is the bill?”  “$580.60.”  “Are you kidding me????  I paid the bill!”  “Well if you want the power back on, you’re going to have to pay me.”

Okay, two can play that game.  “Okay,” I said.  “I’ll write you a check.”  He blinked.  “You’re going to give me a check for that amount?”  “I sure am.  You wait right here.”  “Okay, you get the check and I’ll turn your power back on.”

I knew that the bill had been paid, but I also knew I needed to buy some time until the office opened and I could get the mess straightened out.  So as he turned the power back on I wrote him the check, handed it to him and bid him a good day.  Then I went back to my room (with a detour to the bathroom, of course!) to wait for the office to open at 9.

I know for a fact that I was their first call; and after I had explained the situation they were very apologetic.  You see: the bill HAD been paid, it had posted but the person had neglected to move the payment over.  So by the time the call was over the only thing I owe now is $4.00.  And yes: I made sure to stop payment on my check!

I never thought I’d ever say this but thank goodness I had food poisoning.  Otherwise who knows how long it would have taken for them to restore my power???

As for that frolicking wench Pumpkin:  I hope the next time she sneaks out everyone has their pants on!

A Perfect Afternoon

I know that people have different definitions as to what perfect means to them.  Well this week I experienced what counts for me as the perfect afternoon.

It was Thursday and it started out with me leaving work early.  I had to have a dexascan, which didn't factor into the perfection, but I'm getting ahead of myself.  It was a gorgeous, sunny day, so when I started up my car I opened the moon roof as soon as I hit the Northway.  Cranking up the radio, I enjoyed the breeze as I headed for the doctor's office.

Once there, I discovered that not only was the test going to be a walk in the park, but I also didn't have to pay for it.  Now that was perfect!

Since it was such a warm sunny day, the first of the year, I thought that it would be nice to wash my car since it hadn't been washed all winter.  So I went to the neighborhood carwash, flirted with the owner and got my car all nice and clean.  Perfect!

But now the inside definitely didn't match the outside!  So when I got home I decided that I would clean out the inside of my car.  I went inside (no one else was home), got a big plastic bag and commenced with the cleaning.  You'd be amazed at what had accumulated in my car during the past season (most of which was courtesy of Brie); and even Kitty's tackle box from when we went fishing in September was still in there!  So I got all that stuff out, including the little side compartments.  Perfection!

Then I noticed Mark cleaning off his front stoop and I looked at mine.  All kinds of dried leaves and stuff were there.  So since there was still room left in the garbage bag, I decided to clean off my stoop too.  So I used the old broom that had mysteriously appeared by my door one day, got my dust pan, and swept and collected up the leaves; even moving the little chair and table that were there.  It looked fabulous!

Going back inside, Pumpkin was whining because I hadn't been paying any attention to her.  So I picked her up and took her outside to get some fresh air.  Hunky Scott from next door saw us and came over because he just loves Pumpkin!  So I was talking to him as he was petting and cooing at the dog.  Man: Scott is perfection!

Presently I had to go back inside and so did he.  I went in, sat in my favorite living room chair and decided to watch a show I had DVR'd.  Pumpkin got in my lap so she could watch it too; and then we both promptly fell asleep.  It wasn't even 5:00 yet!

Hey, maybe not to you, but to me: it was a perfect afternoon. :o)