Whatever Happened To...?

I was in the Dunkin’ drive-thru waiting to order an English muffin. I didn’t really want an English muffin: what I really wanted was an Australian Toaster Biscuit.

What is a Toaster Biscuit, you say? Just a little bit of Heaven! It’s like an English muffin and you treat it like an English muffin, but it’s round and soft and oh so good. No need for nooks and crannies here! Our local Freihofer’s used to have them and then they stopped making them because they must have heard that I loved them. Oh I know it’s a conspiracy theory, and not just with my beloved Toaster Biscuits which I haven’t had in probably 20 years!

Several years ago Snackwells had a chocolate yogurt on the market. I am not a fan of yogurt, but wanted to eat healthier so figured I’d give it a try. Oh Lord: ambrosial! Of course it was supposedly low-fat (it wasn’t) and blah, blah, blah, but it was absolutely delicious and the only yogurt I would eat. As a matter of fact, this dark chocolate yogurt was so good: it’s the reason why I cannot eat pudding to this day. So of course they took it off of the market. I went so far as to contact the company to find out how to get it, and they responded, “Due to the poor sales of this product in your area, it is no longer available”. Apparently just me buying it wasn’t good enough, and they were all about the money. Haters!

Do you remember Viennetta?  Breyer’s came out with this grand dessert. It was a loaf of delicately layered ice cream ruffles and a hard chocolate coating. This was back in the day when Breyer’s Homemade Vanilla actually tasted homemade. It was phenomenal! And if you drizzled it with some Hershey’s dark chocolate syrup…oh yeah, the best dessert EVER! Until, once again, they heard that little Rita from upstate New York loved it, and poof! Gone from the freezer section like it had never been there.

That’s around the time I discovered another ice cream treat: Starbucks Coffee Almond Fudge. Coffee ice cream with ribbons of dark chocolate and dark chocolate covered whole almonds. It only came in a quart container, and I really had to restrain myself from eating the entire quart each time I bought one. It cost more than a half-gallon of ice cream (because it was a Starbucks product) but I didn’t care. Mama was happy! You guessed it: right until they stopped making it. Ugh! Why do manufacturers dislike me so much??? Again, I contacted the company and they said they were coming out with a product I would enjoy even more. Lies! They came out with these less-than-pint-sized containers of different flavors that were not Coffee Almond Fudge. I was done.

Weaver used to make chicken croquettes that you would heat in the oven. It came with a sauce packet that you put in hot water while the croquettes cooked. Then you put them on a plate, poured the warm sauce over it and enjoyed a great meal. You guessed it: I had to contact the company when this product disappeared and they replied, “We’re sorry, but periodically we discontinue products to make way for new ones that we are sure you will enjoy just as much. Thank you for being a valued customer.” If I was so valued, they would have kept my chicken croquettes! And just for the record: I did NOT enjoy their new products.

I know I shouldn’t take it personally but it’s hard not to when this has happened to so many of my favorite foods. It was probably God’s way of saying, “You’ll be bigger than a house if you keep eating so much of these foods!” Yes He knew I wasn’t known for self-control back then, ha-ha (remember the Mississippi Mud Pie incident???).

So since I am only 18 pounds away from my goal weight for the year, I should be thankful that my food addictions are off the market. However, from now on, if I really like something, I’m not saying a word about it!