When you're working from home, you get to spend a LOT of time observing those stranded with you. My "office" is set up in the dining room which is a perfect spot for eyeballing those in the living room. Then when I'm finished for the day: I am sitting in the living room with them. SO with that being said: here is who I have taken out of my will:
Marie - this is a no brainer. Don't get me wrong: yes she's 89 and frail and has an inoperable brain bleed. BUT with all of that she's still crafty as a fox. For instance she's pretty feisty and can be argumentative and eats like she's getting paid for it. But if her sister calls, or her brother or the crown prince from Texas (Carl) to see how she's doing, she tells them she's still 'barely hanging on' and we leave her alone for long periods of time and we didn't tell her it was Easter. Lies! There is always someone here or if the three of us have to leave together Keith is across the street and can come over; and Clancy is three blocks away and can come over. However, her best trick usually happens in the middle of the night. Brie and I sleep (ha!) in the living room with her just in case she falls or needs something. One night last week I heard her get up and go to the bathroom. However, I didn't hear the tappity tap tap of her cane. Weird. Then when she came back into the living room I asked her, "Where's your cane?" "Oh! I didn't know you were awake." "Mm hmm where's your cane?" "Oh I don't know." So miss frail and not-long-for-this-world is free wheelin' around the house without her cane when she thinks we're asleep! Yep: out of the will!
Brie - surprised? Don't be! Thanks to COVID-19 she isn't working and was released from her job like many co-workers due to not enough work to support all employees. She has asthma and is claustrophobic so having to wear a mask is a nightmare for her and gives her panic attacks. We had to go to Wal-Mart Saturday to shop and she put on her mask. But she said she couldn't stay in the store so after getting her items she gave me her debit card, told me to pay for her stuff and high-tailed it back to her car. I had a cart full of stuff to separate and pay for, take to the car and load up. Ugh! And when Kitty and I got to the car Brie was on her phone, listening to tunes and not helping put anything in the car because of her condition. Plus she likes to ask Kitty to do everything for her at home because a) of her condition; or b) she has a dog in her lap. She lounges on the couch like a Victorian woman on a chaise lounge with a case of the vapors. She's out!
Kitty - she is a gem: most of the time. She has been furloughed from her job until retail stores can reopen. But this doesn't keep her down! The store continued to pay her for a month and because her job leave is COVID related: she will be receiving the big unemployment payments. And she lives her life the way she wants, buys what she wants, dresses in styles only she can pull off and has truly been blessed by God. So what does she need my money for? She's out!
Lilly - the creepiest dog around who's supposed to be a long-haired Chihuahua but I know she isn't. . She has self-esteem issues and abandonment issues and since I've been home I can't get her off of me. Even when I'm working she's pawing at my leg to pick her up. When I'm sitting on the couch she is pressed up against me, or on me, or staring at me until I 'let her be the baby' and pick her up to cuddle against my chest. If I go to the car she howls like I've left her alone in the woods. When I come back in 3 seconds later she prances around like she won the lottery. If I'm laying on the couch on my side, she climbs on me and gazes adoringly at me. I turn my head and look back at her and she's closer. I turn my head again and look back and we're nose to nose. She just can't get close enough to me. I think the only way she could get close enough to me would be if she could wear my skin. And I'm sure this has crossed her mind. She's out!
Vivian - who actually is a long-haired Chihuahua and the cutest little dog you'd ever want to see: all 3.5 pounds of her. Her tiny face could launch a thousand ships. But she can be the most annoying little beauty EVER. She has very high metabolism and would eat her weight in food if you'd let her. If she feels I didn't give her enough treats, she will come over, get on her hind legs and push at my leg like a tiny bully. Then she'll start talking, which she does a lot. I mean actual talking, not barking. This used to be cute. When I would talk she would watch my mouth, then silently move hers as if imitating me. Then all bets were off and she'd be talking. And of course like Dr. Doolittle I know exactly what she's saying! Give me treaties! Give me schnacky! I want nummy! Give me what you're eating! I'm hungry!!!!!!!!!! And if she isn't terrorizing me over food, she is trying to force me to kiss her. When this tiny creature wants to kiss you while you're holding her: it's going to happen. I do not kiss animals but she will bide her time: side eyeing you until you forget about her and then she turns her head and fast as lightning plants one on you. Eww! And then she sneezes on you for good measure! Out!
So who does that leave? Our beautiful Maine Coon cat Victoria. She is the most chill, Zen cat ever: thanks to how Kitty raised her (with classical music and love). She is probably 17 now, and I'm seriously not sure how much longer we will have her. But even though she has acquired a couple of annoying habits since I've been home, I'll take those over the rest. Like since I've been sleeping in the living room, she will go through the room between four and five a.m. to announce the time at the top of her kitty lungs: '4:00 and all is well!' All is not well because I need my sleep before stumbling to the dining room to work! But her favorite annoying habit is playing 'Godzilla destroys Tokyo'. I have some items on the coffee table that are essential to me. So of course Victoria will jump up onto the coffee table, no matter what I say, and sashay her big kitty self around the coffee table, knocking over everything as she goes while I say futilely, "Godzilla! Stop destroying Tokyo!" Then when enough items are on the floor, she gracefully jumps down. But she also will bump her big knotty head against me to show she loves me, she puts up with the dogs and she is just cool. Yep: she inherits everything!
No comments:
Post a Comment