Going Once, Going Twice...

Since it's February, the Lake George Winter Carnival is going on.  I'm not a snow bunny so I rarely ever participate in any outdoor activities.  However, one year a very good friend of mine sent an email out to a group of our friends soliciting participation in a Lake George Winter Carnival fundraiser.  I like fundraisers, especially ones for children.  But then she says what the fundraiser is: The first ever Date Auction!  Oh, no way José is what I reply back, but Beth says “It’s for the kids.  Come on, if enough of us do it we’ll have fun.”  Well, as long as others are going to do it: okay.  Hey, it’s for the kids!

So I dutifully went to the website, completed the application and sent in a photo (oy vey!).  Afterwards, I emailed everyone to make sure that they had gotten their registrations in too.  And can you believe it: not a single other person did it!  “Are you kidding?” they all said in horror.  “I could never get up in front of a bunch of people and have them bid on me!”  “But it’s for the children!” I wailed.  “We’ll buy tickets and come up to support you,” they said helpfully.  What I said in return…that’s another blog entirely!

So there I was: stuck, having to do this auction when I wasn’t sure at all that the North Country was ready for my particular kind of…charm.   But after the heartfelt phone call from the organizer, I knew I couldn’t back out.  It’s for the kids!  I was starting to really dislike the kids…

There was a meet-and-greet for all of the bachelors and bachelorettes a week before the big event.  I went, and was shocked to discover that there were only 2 women and all the rest were men!  Yes, men that I would have been happy to bid on, but only 2 women!  I couldn’t help thinking how disappointed all the male bidders would be with only 2 choices: chocolate or vanilla and both on the northern side of 40!  But thankfully, the other women hadn’t been able to make it but would be there the night of the auction.  Whew!

What I also hadn’t realized going in was there was a talent portion as well.  Talent?  Were they mad??  What in the world could I do that wouldn’t get me tossed from the event?

So how was I going to make it through this type of event, knowing that there were going to be who knew how many people looking at me, judging me, waiting for me to do something talented and bidding on me?  Hopefully with wit, aplomb and some kind of dignity that usually saved me!  After all: it's for the kids!

When the night arrived: to say I was nervous would be a total understatement!  However, I knew I was supposed to dress to impress, so I did.  I got my hair done (hello Mary J. Blige!), did my nails, threw on a slit skirt and a top that showed my cleavage and headed out to the Holiday Inn!  A little diversionary “smoke and mirror” action couldn’t hurt.

Thank goodness when I arrived my friends came in shortly afterwards so I had a table of support.  They were very interested to know what my talent was, and I told them I had written a poem.  Oh yeah, THAT should go over well!  My friend Beth designated herself as my “wing man” to introduce me around to the single gentlemen who had come hoping to win a date with someone.  So I took a deep breath and let the evening begin!

What helped me through this was knowing that basically everyone was there to have a good time, offer support and ooh at the fact that I was sooo brave to be doing this.  Hey, it’s for those freakin’ kids!

There turned out to be 5 women and 6 men up for bid, and we were certainly rooting for each other.  That helped to calm me down! 

Finally, it’s time for the auction to start.  We had pulled numbers, and wouldn’t’ you know it: I was number 10 of 11!  So I had to sweat through almost all of the other contestants.  By now I was praying: Dear God, please let SOMEONE bid on me!  Surely some man would bid on the only chocolate chip in the cookie!

The emcee was great and was also someone I have known for many years (shout-out to Mikey C!) so that made it easier, plus he did talk me up very nicely.  As I was standing on the dance floor with all eyes on me he said, “For her talent portion Maxx is going to read a poem specially written for this occasion!”  Ahhh!!  Oh, I was sure that was going to drive the bids up!

I smiled, drew in a deep breath and began reading:

I have done some crazy things

That right now I won’t mention.

But standing here in front of you,

Trying to get your attention?

Really has to rank up there

With other things I’ve done

Waiting to get bid upon:

How’s that supposed to be fun?

Maybe we can make it so

And I won’t be so nervous

It takes guts to stand up here

And try to act impervious.

To the butterflies I feel

As I anticipate:

Who will be the lucky guy

To win me as their date?

What’s important here tonight is

That it’s for the kids.

So open your hearts and wallets too:

Gentlemen: start your bids!

Well by the end EVERYONE was hooting and hollering!  Was it because they were drunk?  No, it was because they liked the poem and were now primed to bid!  And bid they did: I think I went into a fugue state because I didn’t even see who was doing the bidding.  But it started at $20 and when all was said and done: I ended up being the one that went for the 3rd highest bid!  Not too shabby if I do say so myself :o)

That was a night where I really stepped out of my comfort zone.  Did I make a love connection with the lucky guy who won me?  Nope.  But was I grateful that he made me look good that night?  Damn straight!