This reminded me of a time when I thought it would be interesting to re-write some fairy tales, put a beat behind them and come up with a rap CD. Granted, I'm a horrible rapper but I actually went as far as to do a speech for Toastmasters with this rap. Talk about stepping out of my comfort zone! I actually bought a CD that had all instrumental rap music on it to play as I got in touch with my inner Compton.
Needless to say that was the first and last rap I ever did; but I'm going to share my lyrics with you. Just use your imagination and put a "gangsta beat" behind it! It's called "Little Red In Da Hood":
Once upon a time not long ago
Lived in a girl in da hood but she weren’t no ‘ho!
She lived with her momma, a sheltered life,
That didn’t contain much stress or strife.
But Red knew there was more out there,
And baby girl wanted to see her share.
She looked out the window, every day
Then worked up the courage one day to say,
“Hey momma you know I need more than this.”
“But baby girl right now your life is bliss!”
“It’s boring; I need to see what’s out there.”
“Red, all that danger will curl your hair!”
But Hood continued to plead her best
Till momma finally acquiesced.
“There’s one place that I’ll let you go,
To Grandma’s house and don’t be slow.
Take with you some homemade goods
And don’t forget to wear your hood!”
The girl was excited as she could be,
She tied her hood on so prettily.
“Thank you mom this will be great!”
“Now hurry up so you’re not late!
“I’ll call granny and let her know
To expect you soon, don’t dawdle so.”
So little red hood went on her way,
Skipping and singing that lovely day.
But after a while she had to slow down
And set her basket on the ground.
She didn’t know it was this far
And she didn’t even see a car.
The woods were bigger than she thought
The basket was heavy with the goodies she brought.
Her mom had told her not to dawdle
But now her knees began to wobble.
Maybe she should have thought some more
Before she set foot out the door.
She squared her shoulders and soldiered on
To get to granny’s ‘fore the light was gone.
As she started to crossly grumble,
All of a sudden she heard a rumble!
She quickly jumped behind a tree,
“Hey girl, don’t be scared of me!”
Peeking from behind her cover
She saw a Harley Davidson lover.
Dressed in leather from head to toe,
Which was this, a friend or foe?
He took his helmet off his head,
“Girl, you got nothing to dread.
It ain’t safe out here by yourself,
Now do you need a little help?”
“Not from you sir, but thanks though,
On your way now, please just go.”
The biker wasn’t done just yet.
His curiosity she had whet.
“Why you out here all alone?
These woods can be a danger zone.”
“I think that I’m beginning to see
What momma was trying to tell me.
I should have stayed at home with her
Instead of being here with you sir!”
“At least come out from behind that tree,
So who I’m talking to I’ll see.”
She took a step from behind the bark
And was glad that it still wasn’t dark.
“I like your hat, is it a snood?”
“Back up foo, don’t touch my hood!”
“I see you’ve got a basket there.
How about me and you just share?”
“These goodies are for my granny see,
Jump back Jack or you’ll feel my knee!”
He placed his hands up, backed away,
“No need for that, but listen, say
“No need for that, but listen, say
How about I give you a ride on my bike?
‘Cause that will save you quite a hike!”
“You think that I was born last night?”
She got ready to put up a fight.
“Come on girl, you can trust me
I have sisters, here are pictures, see?”
Warily she checked them out
And then decided he wasn’t a lout.
“If you try a trick or two
Your butt is going to feel my shoe!”
“Just put this extra helmet on
So in a minute we’ll be gone!
Now just where is your granny’s place?”
“It’s right outside the woods a pace.”
So Little Red got on the back
And placed her basket in the side rack.
“Remember sir, no funny stuff
Or else I’ll have to get real tough!”
“Chill out girl, we’re on our way,
You got anything else to say?”
Little Red said, “Not a peep.”
Then settled herself on the seat.
The ‘cycle started with a loud roar,
Then the throttle was all but floored!
Like a shot the bike took off,
The exhaust made Little Red cough!
Through the woods the riders rushed,
Jumping logs and dodging brush.
She hung on tight for safety’s sake:
Dirt and stones flew in their wake!
“Please slow down before we crash
And we both end up with road rash! “
“Don’t worry Red!” he shouted back.
“It’s all good, we’re right on track!”
She hung on tightly; said a prayer,
Then before she knew it: they were there!
“Here you go Red, safe and sound.”
Shakily her feet touched ground.
“Thanks, I think,” she told her ride.
And got her basket from the side.
“Anytime Red but remember this:
You had better be careful, Miss.
Lucky for you your momma sent me
For the purpose, just to see
How you did on your first trek out.
I’ll have to tell her all about
How you didn’t ask me for I.D.
I could have been a big bad wolf, you see.
So next time don’t accept a ride,
There are laws that you must abide.
For safety’s sake girl, keep it real,
Or your goodies some guy might steal!”
On that note they heard the door
And out stepped granny, who was five feet four.
“The gentleman’s right,” Granny said.
“You must be careful, or wind up dead!”
Hearing this gave Red a fright,
Luckily, it turned out all right.
But in the future she did vow,
To be more careful, and how!
Holla!! (too bad you can't see me flashing my gang signs. Word to your mutha!)
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