A Day With Kitty

Autism makes my daughter Kitty a very unique individual.  There isn’t enough time to delve into all of the facets that make up the magic that is her.  Suffice it to say that even though she is very capable of exhibiting adult behavior, she is always going to be in touch with her inner and outer child.  Here’s an example:

                We had decided to do our spring cleaning early since each spring we have an annual inspection of all of the townhouses in our development.  Since Kitty’s sister and I work full time, Kitty really did a bang-up job of tackling some projects all by herself.  She did such a good job that I said, “Honey, you really helped out a lot and I really appreciate it.  So what would you like to do as a reward?”  The minute the sentence was out of my mouth I knew I should have put some parameters on it but it was too late: she immediately answered, “I want to go to Build-A-Bear Workshop.”

I have absolutely nothing against Build a Bear.  But it’s waaaayyyy down the Northway at Crossgates Mall, and everyone who knows me knows that I hate venturing further south than exit 12.  Crossgates is huge, and crowded, and I don’t know where anything is, and I really feel like I don’t fit in.  Yet I found myself saying, “Okay.”

I was already stressed about the inspection.  There are 3 women living in our townhouse, and we like clothes and shoes.  Plus I rarely ever go into the girls’ rooms, so who knew what the landlord might find?  But when Saturday morning rolled around and Mark came over, everything was pretty much copacetic: and of course he raved about Kitty’s curtains and how cleverly she had displayed her Living Dead Dolls, and on and on.  I got, “Well there seems to be a bit more than I’d like to see in the corner by your closet.  And Brie got, “Good Lord it’s a fire hazard!  Please find somewhere to store all of your shoes and boots!”  The good news is that her shoes and boots are all in boxes.  The bad news is that she had 788 pairs of them.  But since Mark is a really good friend, we’re golden until next spring and that stress was gone.  So now I had to make good on my promise to take Kitty to Crossgates; so my mall stress kicked in.

I never go back on my word to her since she really is a good girl, so I forced myself to put on a happy face, get in the car, and drive the 40 or so miles to the mall.

As you can imagine, she was in very good spirits: it was a sunny day, she had gotten paid the day before, and she was trying to decide what to have for lunch afterwards.  I was just praying that I could park close enough so I wouldn’t have to feel like I was walking for miles before I even reached the door.  And speaking of door: Kitty made it to the entrance as I was barely out of the car!  Who knew she could move that fast?  But I guess when you’ve got Build a Bear on the brain; it puts wings on your feet!

I managed to catch up to her, and she unerringly knew exactly where we needed to go.  But on the way we took a few moments to window shop at a couple of places.  She wanted to look in the Swarovski window at all of the gorgeous crystal, and point out what she was going to buy me one day when she becomes rich.  Then she thought I’d like to stop in a place called Teavana, because wasn’t I always looking for cherry-almond tea?  So we went in and of course they didn’t have any cherry almond tea, unless I’d like for them to mix a couple of really nice expensive teas together (no tea bags in this place!), then sell me an individual steeper for $20.  How did that sound?  It sounded like a big NO to me, that’s how it sounded! But Kitty was busy sampling a couple of teas that they had out.  And of course, one of the teas they showed her had a flower that bloomed when the tea seeped, and it was beautiful.  Nope: no flower in my tea sample!

But when she had decided that we’d spent enough time in there, it was time to high tail it to the magical land of Build A Bear.  I thought that it would be extremely busy on a Saturday, and I was right.  There was even a birthday party going on.  But she didn’t care: it was her day and I was just going to like it!  So I stoically and supportively stood there, like a giant redwood tree, amongst the little children picking out their animals to have stuffed, and watched as Kitty picked out the exact right Ms. Piggy.  Yes: MS. PIGGY from the Muppets!  Then she got in line with me to wait until it was her turn at the stuffing machine.

As I looked around at all of the parents there with their little kids that were probably aged 9 and below, I couldn’t help wondering: what in the world were they thinking when they looked at us???  But as is often the case, it didn’t matter because Kitty was happy.  She was patiently waiting in line, talking to me about what outfits she was going to buy for Piggy, and wondering how she was going to get along with Lady Baa Baa.  Oh, Lady Baa Baa is the stuffed sheep she got on her birthday last year.  So nope: this wasn’t our first foray into Build A Bear…

When it was finally her turn, she let the joy and magic of the place take over, and she did all of the things that the other kids had done: she spun around when she was supposed to, rubbed the little heart between her hands and gave it a kiss, and watched in fascination as the stuffing went into her new friend.  When this process was complete, she took her to the “air bath” to brush her hair and get rid of any bits of stuffing that may have gotten on her pink dress.  Then I trailed behind her as she picked out different outfits, shoes, sunglasses and the like.  Finally, we got to the computers, where she made up Piggy’s birth certificate. 

As we went to the register I told her that I’d buy a couple of outfits for her.  Then I wondered if she was really going to pay for all of the remaining items she’d acquired, or if she was going to try to get me to do so.  I’m sure you know the answer to that one!  Yep: I fall for it every time.  This time she said if Piggy had more clothes, then she and Baa Baa could trade outfits.  Really Kitty?   But by the time we got out of there Ms. Piggy had more clothes than I do!  Plus we’d bought enough for the cashier to give us 2 gift cards and 2 sets of Easter egg coloring kits.  So Kitty had quite a haul!  So much so, that she felt magnanimous enough to let me go into Yankee Candle, where she helped to load me up with Vineyard scented candles.  And we know how economically priced their merchandise is, ha ha!

I usually say that you can judge how happy Kitty is by how loudly she hums.  Can I tell you: she started humming from the moment we got in the car, all the way up the Northway to Exit 19??  I kept surreptitiously turning up the radio but she still hummed away as she brushed Piggy’s hair, and looked at her outfits, and decided I needed to take her to Red Lobster for lunch.  REALLY Kitty???

Yes, I took her to Red Lobster.  And yes: she brought Ms. Piggy in with her.  And yes; Ms. Piggy was sitting right across from me, staring at me with her big Piggy eyes.  But I’m so used to Kitty and her whimsy, at one point I decided that I’d join in.  When I saw her break off a little piece of biscuit and hold it to Piggy’s mouth, I said, “Honey, does Ms. Piggy like the cheddar bay biscuits?”  She looked at me like I was crazy and said, “She’s not real mom, she didn’t eat it!”  That was the end of the whimsy for me.

Other than that, lunch was good, Kitty had a great day and as we say in my family: when Kitty is happy, everyone is happy!  And that’s the way it should always be 😊

The Problem Is...

The problem is that I don't feel well.  On Monday, while I was on my way to work, this guy decided that he was going to celebrate President's Day by running the red light as I was going through  my green light.  I slammed on my brakes and laid on the horn, and missed his truck by approximately 1/2 an inch.  I was so close I could see the surprised look on his face, like he couldn't understand why I'd almost t-boned him when he only paused at his RED light before gunning it through.  Imbecile!  Then he started to slow down, but after seeing my face he thought better of it and continued on his way.

It was pretty much a miracle that I didn't hit him and I was thankful for that. I thought if the airbag had deployed that would have been pretty scary, and I'm sure very painful too.  So that was good.  But as the day wore on, I noticed that I was starting to hurt.  A lot.  All over.  I couldn't figure out why until I realized that since I had anticipated a collision, I had tighted up and put everything into absorbing the shock if I did collide with the other vehicle, and I put so much pressure on my brakes and honking my horn.  So of course I'd be sore!  After I got home from work I figured I'd take some Tylenol and rest and feel better in the morning.

WRONG!  I felt worse in the  morning.  I still went to work, but I was moving mighty slow.  More Tylenol, and I went home and used the heating pad.  I'd loosen up by morning.

WRONG!  It was even worse on Wednesday!  That's when I figured I must have strained something that wan't getting better at all.  I didn't want to miss any work, but I also didn't want to have shaken anything loose that I might want to use later, either.  So I called the doctor and set up an appt. for Thursday in case I needed an x-ray or something.  They were thinking maybe it was whiplash or something, but the pain was in more than my neck and was radiating out.  It had started with my right shoulder, moved down to my arm and elbow, across the back of my neck, up into my head; and then down my back and into my...posterior.  I'd say that was a bit more than whiplash!

When I went to the doctor, she poked and prodded and checked my range of motion, all while hearing me say, "Ow, ow, ow, ow, OW!"  "Yep, it appears that you have some soft tissue damage from your actions prior to your thinking you were going to hit the other vehicle," I was told.  "The good news is that I'll give you a couple of prescriptions for the pain.  The bad news is that it will take probably 3 or 4 weeks before you feel right again."  Thanks Patty!

I stopped at the drugstore on my way back to work but of course I couldn't take anything there.  But when I got home: oh boy!  Muscle relaxers and 800 mg of Motrin to go along with the heat.  Can we say the pain became a distant memory??

Of course I'm not going to live on medication for 3 or 4 weeks, but it's pretty effective for right now while I'm in pain.  It kept me in bed today until around 3:30 this afternoon: but isn't that what weekends are for???  And it's about time I got some rest :o)

Baby Girl

I got to work this morning and was feeling okay.  For the most part I'm enjoying learning my new job, even though I wish I already knew everything.  The cubes around me are basically empty, since we went from 11 people to 5 1/2 (don't ask) and only 3 of us are in the office right now.  The other 2 sit in another area, so I'm alone like an island. 

After awhile I began to feel a little down.  I couldn't put my finger on what was wrong, so I ran down a few things:

• Bills - paid for now.
• Cash - I have some.
• Health - feeling okay.
• Girls - good.
• Weight - going down.
• Work - got my job!
• Friends - I'm being more social.

So what could the problem be?  I just couldn't figure it out.  We had a Toastmasters meeting and that was fun.  But by the time I left work I was just plain sad.  I was trying not to cry on the way home because I had to stop at Hannaford, but I was seriously puzzled.

I went into the store to get dinner fixins, then had to go back into the store because I forgot Brie's cheese spread.  But finally I was back in the car and leaving the parking lot when it hit me: this was the day, many, many years ago, that I lost a baby.

It was January 1982 and due to my living circumstances and health not being that great, I had a miscarriage.  My body just wasn't strong enough to carry the baby.  I remember getting to the hospital and hearing the chatter around me; and the worst thing I heard was how the doctor and nurse described the miscarriage as the body's "spontaneous abortion".  I cried and cried.  Even though I hadn't been that far along, I know that little baby was a girl and I mourned for her.  Thank God Brie, who was only a year, was up here visiting my parents while I was downstate.

Not many people know that story.  And it had been getting easier over these many years, but for some reason today hit me really hard.  Maybe because Brie just had her birthday last week.  Maybe because I've been feeling nostalgic lately.  Or maybe because I've been thinking a lot about my life and what I'm going to do to make myself happier and more prosperous.

But regardless, when I think about my baby girl, I imagine that she's with my father because he always loved my daughters.  Even the one he didn't get to meet in life.

Not the lightest post to begin 2012, but trust me: better things are coming!

Reflections

It's New Year's Eve, and both of my daughters are upstairs getting ready to go out.  Since Kitty is going, that means I have to go.  I don't mind.  She went out for the first time last New Year's Eve, and had a great time.  I hope she has a great time tonight as well.

I've been doing a lot of thinking this week since I was on vacation.  I'm not going to list any of the bad stuff that happened this year; and there was quite a bit of it!  I'm going to think about the good stuff that happened in the 4th quarter that made all the tough times worth the struggle.  When I go back to work on Tuesday, I'll have a new job in a new department that I'm looking forward to. I reconnected with someone that really made me very happy.  My good friend Diana at work got married!  I received a great work review so I'll be getting a raise AND bonus in February!  I got a surprise special achievement award deposited in my bank account right before Christmas, which really solidified the fact that I really turned things around this year.  And we are all healthy and relatively happy, so that's a good way to end the year.

I don't do resolutions any more; but I will adopt a couple of lifestyle changes in the new year.  And I hope to increase my book sales (tell your friends and famuly to buy them on Nook and Kindle!) and release another couple of books; plus edit Kitty's so she can get published too :-)

My tree is still up and beautiful; and I think I'll keep it until Brie's birthday in a couple of weeks.  It just makes me happy to see it.  And I'll still listen to a couple of Christmas CDs; especially since I just bought the Rudolph soundtrack.  Yep: it's still Christmas to me!

I have to close with a Marie story.  She went to North Carolina for the funeral of her older sister, my Aunt Doris.  She called me on Christmas night to see how my holiday was, and because neither my sister nor brother answered when she called them.  Nice to know I got the call by default!  But that's not the best part.  I called her Thursday late afternoon before my massage (more on that in another post) to see how the service was.  She said it was wonderful; then she asked how everyone else was, by name.  She followed that up with, "I can't believe that the whole time I've been down here no one has called me."  REALLY MARIE??  What had I done: just telepathically mind-melded with you??  Apparently my phone call didn't count, so I just said I was sorry and I'd see her when she got home.  Then I hung up and called my sister, telling her to call her mother!!  Gotta love my mother.

Looks like it's time for me to get ready.  Before I go, let me say that I wish you a very happy New Year.  I wish for you health, happiness and prosperity in 2012.  Be kinder than usual to others, because you don't know what kind of struggle they may be having.  And most of all: be happy!

Goodnight and God bless :o)

Christmas Blues

Now that Christmas is over, I have to admit to a little bit of melancholy.  Our tree was up right after Thanksgiving, but it feels like I haven't had enough time to enjoy it.  Christmas songs started playing on the radio several weeks ago, but it seems like they're over too quickly.  People have already tossed out their trees and stopped turning on their outdoor decorations.  It just makes me sad.

Plus I'm currently on vacation and had all kinds of plans, but I haven't done any of them yet.  I was going to the matinee, out to lunch, was going to re-arrange my room, catch up with a couple of old friends, finish my new book: but none of that has come to fruition either. 

Maybe it's because it's been such a long and tough year that I don't have the energy.  I haven't had a vacation all year except for a couple of days here and there.  Work was really stressful this year, but it's ended up being surprisingly good.  So maybe instead of feeling melancholy about the season being pretty much over: I should feel anticipation for what lies ahead.  I'm actually starting in a new department when I get back in the office.  New job, new duties: should be pretty interesting.  And I'll be so busy, I won't have time to dwell on how I miss Christmas...

Besides, it'll come back around next year.  And as Kitty would say: only 362 days left!

Christmas Time Is Here

I swore this wouldn't happen this year, but it did: only worse.  I did all of my Christmas shopping online, which was great.  But here it is Christmas Eve, and not only isn't any wrapping done, I haven't even opened the boxes!  So now that I'm sleepy, and it's going on 9:00, I have to lug all the boxes upstairs,open them and wrap.  Ugh!

But before I weep softly as I get out the rolls of wrapping paper, let me wish you a very Merry Christmas.  May your days be merry and bright.  May you feel God's blessings, and be with those you love.

"For unto you is born this day in the city of David a saviour, which is Christ the Lord."

Peace.

It's The Thought That Counts

Ah Christmas: the season that proves it's better to give than receive.  And no one embodies this principle better than Kitty.

She loves to give presents, and she really got in the spirit of things this season.  She and Brie don't always get along 100% but they do love each other.  And this Christmas, for the first time, Kitty bought Brie's Christmas gifts first.  And she bought her 4!  They were very thoughtful gifts and 2 she was able to open already: her Yankees ornament is hanging on the Christmas tree and her Yankees stocking is up and ready to be filled.  The other 2 gifts: well I can't tell you that!  But they will be enjoyed just as much; and she knows her sister will get her something that she'll be very pleased with.

One item on Kitty's list that I really didn't think anyone was going to get for her was another limited edition Living Dead Doll: Elisa Day.  Last year she had received Frozen Charlotte, a very rare doll to add to her collection.  Trust me; she was lucky to get that considering how much it costs.  But I digress...

Getting back to Elisa Day: Kitty had seen her on eBay for $175.  I knew I didn't want to spend that kind of money on a doll, rare or not.  But then last week I started thinking: she'd really been a good girl and very helpful, so maybe I could go in with my sister on the doll.  So I went on eBay, but the doll she wanted wasn't there.  I checked Amazon: not there.  I actually emailed the manufacturer to see if they had one of the dolls, but they emailed me back the next day and said they were sorry, but it had been a limited edition and it was an older doll so they were completely sold out.  I felt bad about this, but went home and told Kitty that the company had contacted me and said there were no more Elisa Day dolls.  She was disappointed, but then said it was all right and went up to her room.

A little while later she came back downstairs and said, "I told the other dolls that Elisa Day wasn't coming until maybe the new year and they understood."  I said, "Honey, they don't have any more."  "Well mom Sadie called her and she said she'd be here after Christmas."  I said, "What cell plan did Sadie use, haha!"  She just looked at me and then went in the other room.  About half an hour later Brie came into the kitchen with a weird look on her face.  I said, "What's up with you?"  She said, "Mom, I just walked past Kitty's room and her door was open.  All of the dolls were standing on their platform except for Sadie. She was standing up in the middle of Kitty's bed with a cell phone beside her!"  I just laughed and replied, "Yeah, your sister said that Sadie called Elisa Day."  "Mom, that's just freaky!"  "No, it's just your sister.  Relax."

Friday rolls around and I'm at work.  The phone rings and it's Kitty. "Hi mom I need to tell you something. Everything's fine here at home; and I just ordered Elisa Day."  "What do you mean you ordered her?  There weren't any left!"  "Well, I went back on eBay this morning and there she was for only $125, brand new so I ordered her.  And I even got free shipping!"  "That's great Kitty!  It's what you wanted for Christmas."  That's what I said, but I was thinking 'wtf'?  There were NO dolls available.  But leave it to Ms. Kitty to have one magically appear back on eBay, and $50 cheaper!

And THEN she says, "But I have a little bad news.  Paying for her used up most of my Christmas money, so now I only have $5 to buy you a present.  But you know what?  There are some soda bottles around the house, so I can recycle them to have more money to buy your present."  Really Kitty?  I said, "That's okay, you getting Elisa Day is a good enough present for me."  "No mom there's something I really want to get for you, so I'll recycle the bottles to get  your gift; and then next week when I get paid again I'll buy Pumpkin her presents."

So...apparently this is how I rank on the present scale: her sister got her presents bought first, then she bought her own gift, next week Pumpkin gets paycheck gifts, but mom gets recycled bottle-money gifts!  Is that really the spirit of Christmas?  But I actually thought it was rather funny.  It never matters to me if I get presents or not; and it was a totally Kitty thing to say!

And you know what?  At the end of the day, no matter how much or little it costs, Kitty always gets something very thoughtful and appropriate for mom.  And I can't WAIT to see what I get this year! 😃