Rita Dot Com by Amy T

I can't even take credit for this one. Let's call it a Friday Flashback, because my friend Amy T. (remember her? Inspiration for Irrational Fears - The Musical) actually wrote this years ago. We were sitting at work one day, bemoaning the fact of the dearth of men in our demographic. Then lo and behold: she found one online. Fast forward: they ended up getting married and still are to this day.

Since she was so lucky, she said I should also try online dating. NOPE: been there, done that and burned the internet down. She laughed and said it was time for me to try again.  I said there was no way and it took up too much time and brain power to complete the profile. She said she'd do it! So I let her, and here it is. Grab a cup of coffee (or a cocktail!) and settle in for this post!

 "The best part of being my age, truly, is that I am happy with myself.  I’m proud of the things I have accomplished, satisfied with my life and know that there is a great difference between being alone and being lonely; I am not lonely by any means.   I am looking for someone who just wants to enjoy Act II of life, for all the wonderful things that are in store.   I feel that chemistry and honesty are the most important qualities in building a relationship of any kind so I will share the key elements of my life and in turn will share the expectations I have in the kind of person I am seeking.  All the little things in-between we can find out in person if the chemistry is right. 

I have a strong faith in God and am very active in my church; my ideal man doesn’t need to attend church every weekend by my side but will have to believe in God and pride himself as one who walks in Faith.  I am an accomplished romance writer and poet and have several books that can be purchased from the Amazon store.  I could also share with you my blog as it would also be a way to get to know me better.  Perhaps we can talk about that one night over dinner; I’m always looking for inspiration for my work.  

I am drug and disease free and limit my drinking to a toast or two a year; in fact I hold several advanced designations in Toastmasters International.  I love music of all (okay…MOST) genres but jazz in particular.  I was a club DJ when I was only 17; and I even DJ’ed for a local radio station for 12 years!  Some of my favorite things to do are to travel, dine out, read books, and let me tell you, I make a mean batch of dark chocolate fudge brownies!  My homemade lasagna also gets rave reviews!  Since honesty is a priority in my life, I am open about the fact that currently my adult daughters live with me; but they work and have their own lives.  My oldest moved back from the West Coast and is taking some time to rebuild her life; my youngest daughter is currently looking for the ideal living situation for herself.  Both daughters are self-governing and I don’t interfere too much with them, nor they with me.  Instead, I have a small dog and two cats who own ME; yet I am far from being a crazy cat lady. 

I know there is no such thing as perfect, but let’s agree on the fact that we all deserve to be happy and can accomplish that by being honest about our needs.  Chemistry is huge, so if there is a mutual interest I’d prefer to meet briefly for coffee or an appetizer and see where it goes.  Spending a lot of time texting or on the phone tends to drag out the first meet-up and we’ve both spent time building expectations that may fall short if the attraction is non-existent in person; seems fair to both of us, right? 

I’ve told you about me.  This is what I need from you and sorry, no exceptions; haters need not comment, for it is what it is.

I’ll make it very clear that I am not here for hook-ups but there are plenty of girls who are.  Best of luck!

My special someone cannot smoke, must work, live independently and have his own transportation; I can guarantee the same from my end, so that is only fair.

I have a great smile, so when I make you smile, I want to see all of your well-kept teeth

I am not interested in being someone’s secret girlfriend

I limit my game playing to Bejeweled Blitz, not with people’s heads or hearts.  Playa’s need not apply

I am open to dating people of other races and/or relatively different age groups but will make clear that I am NOT interested in any little boys who approach me with the line, “I have never had a black woman before” because quite frankly, you're not having this one either. 

Lastly, thank you for reading my profile.  We are all here because we are all looking to find that someone to love and to love us.  I wish you all the best of luck in finding the woman of your dreams."

Didn't she do an awesome job??? She pegged me pretty well. Yet I never posted it. I wasn't looking to meet strangers on the internet. Ever hear of the Craigslist Killer? You have no idea of what you might get. But I sure did get a kick out of reading it. Thanks Amy! I wish we still worked together; because who knows what other genius ideas you could hatch for me?! 😉

Have a great weekend! And as always: feel free to leave a comment or reach out to me. I want to know who you are!