Marie wasn't much of a singer, but ever since I was a little girl I remember that every so often she would sing a little part of a particular song. The first part was "You give your hand to me, and then you say hello". She never sang the entire song, but would hum some of it under her breath. To me, that song became a part of her. I never bothered to find out what the song was, or what the rest of the lyrics were.
This past Saturday morning, at around 6 a.m., I was listening to a jazz station out of Rochester, NY. The particular program was called "Musical Memories", or "Melodies and Music", or something like that. (Hey: I hadn't had much sleep that night!) Anyway: suddenly this song started to play! I said to myself, "Hey, this is Marie's song!" Then I listened to the lyrics...
Sheesh, what did I do that for? It's such a sad song and when I finally searched for the lyrics, it made my heart break for Marie a little. I don't own any rights to this song, and I don't make any money from these lyrics (lyrics by Eddy Arnold ):
"You give your hand to me, and then you say hello
And I can hardly speak, my heart is beating so
And anyone can tell you think you know me well
But you don't know me (no, you don't know me)
No, you don't know the one who dreams of you at night
And longs to kiss your lips, and longs to hold you tight
Oh, I'm just a friend, that's all I've ever been
'Cause you don't know me (no, you don't know me)
For I never knew the art of making love
Though my heart aches with love for you
Afraid and shy, I let my chance go by
A chance that you might love me too (love me too)
You give your hand to me, and then you say goodbye
I watch you walk away beside the lucky guy
Oh, to never, never know the one who loves you so
Well, you don't know me
For I never knew the art of making love
Though my heart aches with love for you
Afraid and shy, I let my chance go by
A chance that you might love me too (love me too)
Oh, you give your hand to me, and then you say goodbye
I watch you walk away beside the lucky guy
Oh, you'll never, never know the one who love you so
Well, you don't know me"
What I finally figured out is why Marie would sing this song: it makes her think of someone that loved her, and I believe she loved. It also helped me figure out why she and I never had a good relationship, and why she never told me that she loved me as her daughter. It's because I didn't have the same father as my two older brothers. I believe that since their father wasn't my father: she couldn't (or wouldn't) love me the way she loved the boys. This was knowledge I wish I had put together sooner!
Unfortunately, anyone that could verify this information for me has passed on. So it's only a hypothesis. But as soon as I heard those lyrics I deeply felt that this was the missing piece of the puzzle. She loved that other man.
I actually met him once, many years ago when i was in college and on vacation with my oldest brother, my uncle Tom and his wife. Carl took me to this house; and when a man answered the door he said, "Deb (my nickname) this is my father." You could have knocked me over with a feather. I didn't doubt it for a minute because they had the same coloring, the same build and the same smile. Yeah...it took me a LONG time to get over THAT shock!
So Anyhoo: I finally figured it out. I'm not harboring any bitterness. I just wish there was someone left to corroborate the story. Just another reason why I'm not a fan of mysteries.
Regardless: thanks for listening. And give the song a listen: there are many versions of it by Elvis, Ray Charles and others. You can pick your favorite.
