So Embarrassing

As some of you know, I was in a car accident in January. Besides the bad concussion, I have some other injuries that I'm healing from. So I'm still a relatively a hurting unit: takes me a bit to get in and out of the car, that kind of thing.

Yesterday morning Brie and I stopped at our favorite Dunkies before work, as we usually do. Since my car was totaled in the accident, I was in the passenger seat. I had on a really nice dress, slit up both sides because I had an interview I was conducting that morning with a few others for a vacancy at the school. I wanted to look my best!

Anyhoo, Brie parked in the Dunkies parking lot and I went to get out. Due to my hurting stuff, this consisted of me opening the door, putting out my right foot, scooching around on the seat until I could get my left foot out and then hanging on to the door as I pulled myself up. No problem, right? 

Not until I noticed a truck had parked next to us. A very good-looking older gentleman was standing there, apparently waiting for me to unwind from my Quasi-modo position and get moving. As I replayed my actions in my head, I just hoped I hadn't flashed him when I was getting out, since the truck wasn't there when I started my exit. But sadly there was a chance that he could have been exposed to more than a bit of leg. Ugh!

However, he was a gentleman and waited for me to close the car door. Then he followed me to the entrance, and opened the door for me while smiling. He had really nice teeth, by the way. Then, since I was still embarrassed and didn't know what else to say, as we entered the vestibule I said, "Now you've spoiled me and can open this other door for me too." Thankfully he laughed as he did so, I said thank you, and he want to get his call-ahead order. He smiled again as he left and I wished him a good day.

By this time Brie was inside. The absurdity of the situation hit me, and I started laughing as I told her about our exchange. She said, "Well maybe he was smiling because he was looking at your ass while he was behind you." "No he wasn't!" "Oh yes he was!" Well he probably got a shot of the front so why not the back too???? Good grief!

I'm telling you: the ortho and PT had better get me back into pain-free health soon! Either that or it's going to be pants from now on 😐

 

For Women's History Month

March is Women's History Month. Yesterday, the school had a program to commemorate this. I was asked to be a speaker. I hadn't done a "speech" since I left State Farm and Toastmasters six years ago but I figured why not? I'd give it a shot. I decided to speak about Maya Angelou as a woman I admired. Here is what I said, in its entirety:

When I think about Women’s History Month, I think of women who are overcomers. Women who have experienced a bad upbringing, problems and trauma: yet managed to rise above to become the women they want to be in spite of life trying to rob them of their dreams.

One woman who did all of this was Maya Angelou. She was born on April 4, 1928 and passed on May 28, 2014. She was an American memoirist, poet and civil rights activist. She published several autobiographies, three books of essays, several books of poetry, and is credited with a list of plays, movies, and television shows spanning over 50 years. She received dozens of awards and dozens of honorary degrees. As a writer, she is a writer that I truly admire.

 

5 Quick Facts About Maya Angelou 

1. She was mute for almost six years

As a young child, Angelou spent five years in silence after her rapist, who was her mother's boyfriend, was murdered by her uncle. She believed her confession of the trauma was responsible for his death. When she finally started speaking again, it began with reciting poetry. Years later, in times of stress, Angelou would often retreat into mutism referring to it as “addictive”. 

2. As a teen, she worked as a sex worker

For a brief period in her teens, Angelou worked as a sex worker to provide for her young son. She has chronicled this experience in her 1974 autobiography "Gather Together in my Name".

 

3. She drank sherry while she wrote

Angelou’s writing ritual consisted of booking a hotel room, stripping the art from the walls and writing 10-12 pages a day on a yellow legal pad with only a bottle of sherry and a pack of cards for company. In the evening she would edit her work down to 3-4 pages, repeating this every day until she was finished. I wish I had that kind of dedication!

 

4. Martin Luther King Jr. died on her 40th birthday

Angelou was a civil rights activist in America working alongside Dr. King as the northern coordinator of the Southern Christian Leadership Conference. According to Maya, Dr. King reminded her of her brother Bailey with his “small, beautiful speaking voice”. King was assassinated on April 4 1968, Angelou’s 40th Birthday.

 

5. She won 3 Grammy Awards

Angelou won 3 Grammy Awards, not for singing, but for her spoken word albums. She won her first Grammy for the poem On the Pulse of The Morning, which she wrote for Bill Clinton’s inauguration in 1993. Her other Grammy wins were for the poem Phenomenal Woman, and the audio book version of her autobiography, A Song Flung up to Heaven. To close, I’d like to read for you her Grammy-winning poem.

Phenomenal Woman

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.

I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size

But when I start to tell them,

They think I'm telling lies.

I say,

It's in the reach of my arms,

The span of my hips,

The stride of my step,

The curl of my lips.

I'm a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That's me.

I walk into a room

Just as cool as you please,

And to a man,

The fellows stand or

Fall down on their knees.

Then they swarm around me,

A hive of honey bees.

I say,

It's the fire in my eyes,

And the flash of my teeth,

The swing in my waist,

And the joy in my feet.

I'm a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That's me.

Men themselves have wondered

What they see in me.

They try so much

But they can't touch

My inner mystery.

When I try to show them,

They say they still can't see.

I say,

It's in the arch of my back,

The sun of my smile, 

The ride of my breasts,

The grace of my style.

I'm a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That's me.

Now you understand

Just why my head's not bowed.

I don't shout or jump about

Or have to talk real loud.

When you see me passing,

It ought to make you proud.

I say,

It's in the click of my heels,

The bend of my hair,

The palm of my hand,

The need for my care.

'Cause I'm a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That's me.

Thank you.

The Little Blog That Could

I started my blog on November 14 ,2010 with no clear destination in sight. I probably hadn't read any blogs prior to this, and then a work friend introduced me to the blog of Allie Brosh. She was amazing! She was so funny, creative and honest. I don't think her blog is still active (Hyperbole and a Half) but she does have two books out. However, I digress.

Now that it's been almost 14 years, I still don't have a clear destination! I write about everything, whether personal, embarrassing, funny or religious. And shockingly: it has grown over the course of the years! I remember when I would only have a few reads per post, but now it has grown and I am so thankful to all of you for reading it and putting up with my nonsense. As of today: I am up to 40,245 reads over the life of the blog! Finding this out today really made my Monday morning 😀. And the best part is: as I have friends in other countries, they are helping to add to my reads. Keep spreading the word! 

When I go back and read some of my earlier posts, I can see how the writing has grown and I am able to tell more of a story. That is what I enjoy the most: telling stories and making people think, or feel, or commiserate, or hopefully laugh out loud. I want to educate and entertain which makes me the happiest.

On October 2022 I had reached 30,000 reads. I am thrilled that it took only a year and a half to reach an additional 10,000 reads. Sending a special shout out to China, Hong Kong, Australia, Canada, France, Sweden, Switzerland and of course those of you in the U.S. Here's hoping it takes even less time to reach 50,000! So again: thank you so much for your love and support. Keep reading!

Much love from the Little Blog that not only Could, but did,

Rita 💛💗

That's Not Who I'm Waiting For!

 Over the weekend, I just happened to think of these two incidents and they made me laugh to myself.

Junior, my really good friend, had moved to Texas for business.  I had missed him and was so glad when he announced he was moving back to the area. We made plans to meet up as soon as he returned.

I arrived at the Mikado restaurant before he did, and the hostess led me to a corner table where I could see the door. I told her that I was waiting for a friend to join me momentarily. Maybe three minutes later, she arrives at my table with this young black woman I had never seen before. "Your friend has arrived!" The girl and I looked at each other with matching expressions of confusion. "Um...this isn't who I was waiting for," I said. "Oh, my apologies," the hostess said and hustled the young woman away as I chuckled to myself. And when Junior did arrive, the look on the hostess's face was priceless!

My place of employment hired a new Chief Diversity Officer. I happened to be on this particular search committee, so I had met him over the course of the interviewing/hiring process. Since I am on the Diversity committee, and we are both diverse, he wanted to meet with me to discuss what the former committee had done, familiarize himself with protocol: that sort of thing. So he wanted to do this over a working lunch and I said okay. It would be nice to get off campus for awhile. He volunteered to drive (probably because he had a brand new car to show off) and we were on our way.

We went to a place I hadn't been to in years, but that was fine as I liked the food. He let me out at the door and said he would park and be in shortly. I went in to get a table. I told the hostess that I was waiting for someone who was parking the car, so she put me at a table facing the door.

I was perusing the menu when the hostess came up to me and said, "Your husband is here." I looked up, and there was this guy, probably 6'3", black hair and brown eyes, in great shape wearing a black fitted t-shirt and black joggers, around 40 years old, and he was smiling at me from the hostess station. Now as much as I wanted to claim this guy as my husband, I chuckled and said, "Um...that isn't my husband. I actually don't have a husband." The hostess looked back at him and said, "Are you sure?" I laughed out loud at that. "I'm sure. The person I'm waiting for is much shorter." She laughed too. "Okay I'm sorry for the mistake." I wasn't, ha ha! And when the CDO came in, saw me and joined me, the hostess looked at me like 'you sure the first one wasn't your husband?' and shared a smile with me. To this day I haven't told the CDO about that incident!

Nothing like starting your Monday off with a smile!

I Never Realized That...

 Years ago I was in therapy. Doesn't matter what for, but it was helpful and my therapist was amazing. We built up a great rapport and I trusted her implicitly.

Over the course of our years together, of course we would occasionally discuss my "relationships". I usually had a 2-year limit and then would move on. Apparently I felt that if I wasn't in love, why stick around? That was plenty of time to figure out if it was forever, or temporary.

During one session we were talking about someone that I was in a situation with. Suddenly she said, "Why do you do that?" "Do what?" I asked. "Not call men by their real names." "Of course I call them by name." She studied me for a minute. "No, you actually don't. Take this new guy for instance: you don't call him by name. You call him 'Syracuse'. You call another man 'Jersey'. You called another man 'Pale & Pasty'. And what about 'Yanni Jr' and 'Basle-butt'? Need I go on?"

I was really surprised, as I hadn't even thought about this. But it was true! Even the gentleman who had made it past two years was called Schmoop-Dog, or a derivative of that. 

I was talking to a male friend about this. He confidently said, "You don't do it with all guys. You call me by my name." I had to burst his bubble. "No, I call you Junior." His face fell. "Yeah, that is true."

But getting back to my therapist: she said I did that to keep these people at a distance: even if I was in a relationship with them. Why? Because at the end of the day I subconsciously figured that if certain family members couldn't love me, why would other people? So calling them by their given names would make me feel closer to them. I didn't want that because I figured at some point they wouldn't love me either. Sad but true.

Even though my therapist retired, I still think about her and the conversations we had over those years. And: there are even a couple of guys that I have never given a nickname to. I guess that's progress! So there's a chance that I will let that wall down and actually fall in love someday. Hope springs eternal.

It's A God Thing

I had two interesting things happen to me this week, that could only be classified as tiny miracles. The first one happened on Monday. I needed to get some dog food and treats for the tiny terrors. Brie and I headed to Target after work. I had 2 gift cards with me: one with about $14 left on it and one from 2022 that said it was $10. I figured between the two of them it should cover the dog items.

So I gathered up a variety of Vivian and Lilly's favorite foods (not spoiled at all!) and a big bag of their favorite chicken jerky ($15 by itself!) and headed for the cashier. We chatted as he rang me up, and I opened my little clutch to get the gift cards. 

Uh oh: I could only find the one for $10! Frantically I dug around some more, but to no avail. I handed him the $10 one and continued to root around, finally realizing I would have to use some cash. Then the cashier said, "Thank you." I looked at him, and he continued, "You have $18 left on this card." "Um...say what?" The cashier showed me the receipt as he handed me the card. "Yeah, it has $10 written on it but it rang up as $50. Must be your lucky day!" "I'll say! Thank you!" As I walked out I thought 'what the heck'? I had purposely not used that card because it was only $10, but I guess the joke was on me. Or maybe the person who gave it to me! Hey, either way I was very grateful 😊

Yesterday after work I had to stop at Hannaford to get the dogs their oven roasted rotisserie chicken breast, which is what they prefer for breakfast 😖 So I had three things to get: the chicken, four cans of chicken for chicken salad for me and Brie, and my chocolate Pot du Crème, which is like very fancy (read expensive) pudding. So delicious! I knew exactly how much cash I had, and it was enough to cover my purchases.

I pick up my items and then leisurely made my way to the cashier. We chatted as she rang up my items. I then unzipped my clutch to get out my $20. Hmm...I didn't see it. I began a deep dive yet only singles, no $20 appeared. Mortified, I asked the cashier if she could just void my sale and I'd move to the side to find the rest of my money so I wasn't holding up the line. Then, the lady behind me said, "How much are your items?" "$16 and change," I replied. "I'll pay for it." I gaped at her. "Oh that's not necessary, I know that $20 is in here somewhere!" She opened her wallet and handed a $20 to the cashier. "I'm happy to pay for it. This is money from my Super Bowl winnings!" I had to chuckle. "Well that's the only good thing the Chiefs did for me!" The cashier gave her her change, and I thanked her profusely. "Thank you and may God bless you!" She smiled. "I could use that!" Then I left.

I made sure to say a prayer of blessing for that nice woman. Of course I was a bit embarrassed because I figured maybe they might have thought it was a scam or something, but nope! Just an opportunity for God to show he's in my corner. And who knows? That woman could have been an angel sent to make sure the dogs got their deli chicken! Either way: I am so very grateful for my two tiny miracles. And I'm not talking about the dogs!

Fat Tuesday

 Lent starts tomorrow, which means today is Fat Tuesday. I have never been Catholic, but in elementary school all of my friends were and they explained Fat Tuesday and Lent to me. So in solidarity, I would faithfully give something up for Lent each year. 

As you can imagine, after leaving school all of my friends stopped with that practice. Not me! I kept it up for decades. I gave up all the good and fun foods for Lent, which turned out to be the best way to jump-start losing weight for the year. When you give up Girl Scout cookies, ice cream, cake and candy: that doesn't leave much, ha ha!

However, after all those years I started to feel like that wasn't enough. Did Jesus really care if I gave up junk food? Did that further His kingdom in any way? I think we all know the answer to that. So a few years ago, I started a new tradition. When Lent started, each night before I went to bed I would message someone and tell them what I appreciated about them, or what made them special. I figured this way, when they woke up in the morning, they would have something positive to carry them through the day. I wasn't looking for anything in return: I just wanted them to know that someone out there was thinking about them and wanted them to know they are special and why. 

This gave me more satisfaction than giving up sweets ever could. And I found out how many people needed this affirmation too; and it seemed to come at the exact right time in their life. So this was definitely a God thing. He knew what these people needed, and I was able to provide it.

Tomorrow I will start this again for the...fourth year I think. It makes me feel good to do this, and to let people know I care about them. I don't start out knowing who I will contact: it's whoever the Lord leads me to on a particular night. So check your social: you never know if you'll be next!

Oh, and I'll still give up Kool-Aid and probably ice cream for Lent. But it's not what's important anymore. People are. And I want to thank you for reading my blog and making me feel special and appreciated!