I was minding my own business, reading an online article in Rolling Stone. It was a list of the 50 best SNL music performances. Number 29 on the list was a song called 'Violet' by Hole from around 1994. My daughters and sister really liked Courtney Love's music, while I wasn't a fan. Anyway, I'm reading the blurb about the performance and it ends with this sentence: "Ever the provocateur, she capped off Hole's performance of a song about sex and power and violence with a snatch of the Crystals' notorious 1962 single "He Hit Me (And It Felt Like a Kiss)." That stopped me in my tracks.
I knew I was reading it correctly but what the heck kind of song was that? The story behind the song in no way, shape or form endorses or glorifies abusive relationships. It gives you a glimpse into the mind of a young girl. I had to go to YouTube to give a listen (I do not own the rights to this song nor do I profit from it):
He hit me and it felt like a kiss
He hit me but it didn't hurt me
He couldn't stand to hear me say
That I'd been with someone new
And when I told him I had been untrue
He hit me (da da da ah) and it felt like a kiss
He hit me (da da da ah) and I knew he loved me
If he didn't care for me,
I could have never made him mad
But he hit me (da da da ah) and I was glad.
So there's more to this than meets the eye. It appears that she cheated on him which is why he hit her. But she thinks it's a sign of love. He wouldn't have been mad if he didn't care, right?
Yes, he hit me (da da da ah) and it felt like a kiss
He hit me (da da da ah) and I knew I loved him
And then, he took me in his arms
With all the tenderness there is
And when he kissed me (da da da ah), he made me his
(Da da da)
Yikes, right?
This song was written by Gerry Goffin and Carole King. They wrote it when they found out that their babysitter, Little Eva (Boyd, of 'Locomotion' fame) was being abused by her boyfriend. When they asked her why she put up with that abuse, she said his actions were done out of love.
If you listen to the song (and I hope you do) you will notice that it sounds kind of whimsical and young girlish. This song is about falling in love with the wrong person, being so blinded by infatuation that you submit to their abuse, and thinking that it's done out of love. Yep: the girl in this song is living in a fantasy world where if the guy didn't care about you, they wouldn't be mad and hit you. Sheesh.
It's amazing what you can find out about songs if you dig deep enough. But I'll tell you one thing: in my own situation, that wasn't what it felt like. And as you can imagine: that song did NOT get a lot of radio airplay. Too controversial. I think they made the right choice.
