That's a good question. I arrived at work before 8 a.m. Accompanying me is a bucket of KFC that I put in the work refrigerator when I arrived. Why do I have this? I'll give some background and then explain.
Keith is my 2nd oldest brother. He is 3 years older than I am. Seems like I've spent a good amount of time looking for him over the years. It began when he was around 14 years old. He and Carl, the oldest, had a big group of friends and they'd be out and about in the neighborhood. Of course Carl knew when to come home, but not Keith! Marie would ask, "Where's Keith?" and Carl would just shrug. Then Marie would send ME out to look for him, at late elementary school age. And when I would finally find him and tell him mom said to come home, he would cuss at me all the way to the house. What fun for me!
One time when he was still a teen, Marie sent me to look for him. I couldn't find him anywhere. When I went back home without him, she panicked. She told my father to call the police and as he was about to do so, there was a knock on the door. He opened it, and there was Keith being brought home on a stretcher! Marie thought the worst but the EMT just laughed. "He's fine, but one of his friends had taken a bottle of booze from his parents and the group of them got hammered. He's fine, just needs to sleep it off!" Keith was laughing and saying how much fun they'd had, and Marie was threatening him within an inch of his life. Good times!
Fast forward several years. My sister Robin had bought herself a sassy red Nissan sporty car. It was so cool! And on occasion she would let me drive it, IF she was also in it and I was taking her somewhere 😒 Anyhoo, one night I get a call from her. "Ugh, can you go pick up Keith?" I asked, "Where is he?" "I let him borrow my car and he got in an accident. He's at Beakfast" (our nickname for our local convenience store). "Oh brother, I guess so." So I got in my little car and headed to the convenience store where I found him with a police officer. And as always, for some reason he was mad at me. So he cussed at me and told me that he only had one sister, and it wasn't me. Okay: bet. Robin: you can have him!
After that we had very little contact for many years. No skin off my nose, since he only had one sister, right? But after Robin died I guess I became the sister because he needed favors that she would do. So occasionally I would help him out. He would call, I would roll my eyes but I'm a nice person.
Maybe five years ago, Keith called me and said he was leaving town for a while. "Where are you going?" "Don't worry about it," and I didn't. A couple of days later, Clancy called me. "Where's Keith? I can't get ahold of him." I repeated the cryptic message he had given me before he left. "Oh, so where do you think he went? He never goes anywhere." I said, "For some reason I think he went to Texas." "Not mad at that. Carl can keep him for awhile." A few days later I was proven right when a car with Texas plates showed up in Marie's yard, and Keith and Carl got out. Sheesh, why the secrecy and drama?
Then four years ago I realized I hadn't heard from him in a few days. This was highly unusual. I mentioned this to Brie and she said, "Be thankful for small favors." I called Clancy and asked if he had heard from him. Nope. Finally Keith called me one evening. "Hey, can you do me a favor?" "What?" I said. "Give me a call in the morning." "O-kay, what am I calling you for?" "To make sure I'm still alive." "WTF Keith?" "Don't worry, just call me."
So the next morning I dutifully called him before work. No answer. I tried again. No answer. I texted Clancy to see if he'd heard from him. 'Where's Keith?' and told him about how he told me to call him. Nope, he hadn't heard from him but said he would call him. I called again, in a panic. Finally he answered. "What is going on? Why didn't you answer?" "Oh sorry, I've been really sick and wanted you to call me to make sure I wasn't dead." SERIOUSLY Keith?? And by the way: he did almost die. It was covid, but we didn't find out until later because no one had heard of covid yet...
Now we'll skip to yesterday. He had asked Brie and I if we could pick him up the Tuesday chicken special and Brie said yes. So after work we go to KFC, get his order and drive to his apartment. I called him from the parking lot. Voicemail. I waited a minute and called again. Voicemail. "Where the heck is he?" Brie asked. I answered "no clue" and called again, leaving a voicemail. Brie said, "I'll give him 2 minutes and then I'm out. He knew we were coming!" It's a locked building so I couldn't even go to his apartment door. I thought about where he could be, then realized he might be at the Eagle's Club, where he is a member. I called there, but the person who answered said he hadn't been there that day. Huh.
Finally we went home, perplexed. We put the chicken away in case we heard from him. I got a text from my youngest brother Clancy. "No luck finding him?" How did he know I was looking for him??? So I texted him back, and he told me that he had stopped by the Eagle's club and someone told him someone called looking for him.
FINALLY Keith called later that night. "Sorry, I was sleeping." I'm thinking 'that's better than being DEAD' and told him we would drop it off on our way to work the next day. I would call him when we were on our way. Then I let Clancy know he had gotten in touch.
So today Brie and I are on our way to his house and I call him. No answer. We get to his house and call him. No answer! We didn't want to be late for work so Brie said, "Eff it" and we left. I thought he would have called while we were on our way but NOPE! Then I apparently got the short straw and had to take the chicken in with ME because my department has a bigger fridge so I could store that bucket of extra crispy. And that's why I have a bucket of KFC.
By the way: he finally called me this afternoon and said sorry, he was still sleeping. He also promised he'd be home and awake after we got out of work, and to just call him to come down. We did, and were finally able to give him his food. And hey: he tipped us $10 for our troubles. I'll count that as a win!
