Oh No Not That Song!

I have gotten used to being told that I have irrational fears.  And…maybe in some instances people are right.  Last night another example was brought to my attention; and I’m going to share this with you even though it all sounds perfectly sane to me.

Schmoop-dog decided he needed another tattoo, and asked if I’d accompany him. Being the good friend that I am I agreed; figuring I would get a chance to catch up on some reading while he was being subjected to the pain of getting a Yeti tattoo above his left ankle.

Afterwards, since I hadn’t had dinner, I offered him the chance of enjoying even more of my company by taking me to the Peppermill for a bite to eat.  I love the Peppermill, and yes: this is a shameless plug for their homemade delicious comfort food. You’re welcome Vicki!

As we were eating our dinner I realized they have the radio station set to the oldies station, WCKM, which is fine.  I used to work there and enjoy hearing some of the songs from the 70s.  But when I was about halfway through my meal, I heard the song “Cover of the Rolling Stone” playing, by Dr. Hook and the Medicine Show. “Oh no, not this song,” I muttered.

“What’s wrong with the song?” Schmoop-dog questioned.

I looked up uneasily. “Well, when I was a kid I liked their music, and especially their song Sylvia’s Mother. But when I saw them on American Bandstand, I saw that one of them had an eye patch and that scared me!”

Schmoop put down his fork. “Excuse me?”

“Well, he wasn’t a pirate so I didn’t understand WHY he had an eye patch! Where was his eye?”

“The good news is that you’re an adult now and it doesn’t matter where his eye was. Perhaps it was just a gimmick.”

“Oh. Hmm, I guess so.  Okay then!” I smiled brightly and went back to my meal.

Uh oh. The very next song they played was “Timothy” by the Buoys.  “Oh no, not this song!”

Poor Schmoop looked up from his shrimp. “What’s the matter with this song?”

“Don’t you know it?? They ate Timothy!”

“What??”

“They were trapped in a mine; and when they were rescued Timothy was missing! They blacked out and when they woke up their stomachs were full as could be but there was no sign of Timothy!” I lowered my voice. “At the time, people were very up in arms about it so the promoters said that Timothy was actually a donkey, but I just know it was a guy and they ate him! How frightening is that? He and his friend were rescued, but they never got around to finding Timothy.  I’m afraid of this terrible song too!”

This time Schmoop-dog just blinked, and then returned to his salad, shaking his head.

“You know how bad things come in three’s?” I began.

“Yes.”

“Well according to the law of averages, this means that the next song they play after the commercial will be D.O.A.!”

“Um…dead on arrival?”

“YES! The song where the guy was in the car accident, but didn’t know he was dead! It was rainy, and his car crashed and he was thrown from it, and then he’s describing all the things he’s seeing and feeling. But it’s an out of body experience, and he doesn’t know he’s dead until he hears the paramedic say “dead on arrival”!”

The fork went down again. “Seriously, how were you ever a deejay?”

“I never played those songs! They were too scary Schmoopie!”

He wiped his mouth with his napkin. “Check please!”

Sheesh, was it something I said???