A Cougar's Perspective

 Once again I found myself cleaning out my email (will it ever end???). I came across this poem that I had completely forgotten about. So lucky you: I'm sharing it! And please know it was totally tongue-in-cheek (or was it?). Enjoy!

A COUGAR’S PERSPECTIVE

When I was a young 16

Older men became my dream.

They didn’t live by parents’ rules

Or act like adolescent fools.

My friends and I would go to dance

Yet no one got inside my pants!

I only seemed to go as far

As making out inside their car.

I married someone five years older

Shouldn’t have: soon it was over.

Then I didn’t date at all

Being a mom: my only call.

Seemed like I was in exile

For years: not just a little while.

I didn’t want to try again

Right now: I didn’t have a yen.

As years passed it became time

For me again to cast my line.

I didn’t have much luck at first,

I didn’t think it could get worse.

I dated men around my age

They were going through a stage

None of them I’d want to keep;

My libido just went back to sleep.

Then I met a younger guy,

Very easy on the eyes.

I figured I was on to something,

He sure got my blood to pumping!

The only problem with this mate:

Technically: he was still jailbait!

So I would have to bide my time

Until he wouldn’t be a crime.

When his age was finally right

He took me out to have a bite.

We enjoyed the time we spent.

My, how quickly that time went!

However, I had to realize,

He couldn’t be my “forever guy”.

The reason is a little grim:

My daughter’d gone to school with him!

23 might be too young,

No matter how the guy was hung.

Though sex was not part of the deal

I will admit: I’d copped a feel!

Moving on, I looked around,

Right at work: guess what I found?

Our good-looking security guard

Built “ford tough”; abs rock hard!

I couldn’t let on how I felt

Though his eyes just made me melt.

He had a girlfriend, woe is me

So friends was all that we could be.

I met his girl: she sure was great.

His girlfriend I just couldn’t hate.

But they had problems. What a shame;

She wanted to take on his name.

But he said he would never wed,

Though he loved her in his bed.

Then one night he rang my phone

They broke up; he was all alone.

After that we would “hang out”.

I loved what he was all about.

At the club we’d meet and talk

Then to the parking lot we’d walk.

Though number one upon my list

And thankfully we shared a kiss.

But once again it couldn’t be

‘Cause I’m not considered “arm candy”.

Attractive I’ll admit I am

But not enough for this young man.

So once again I’m looking ‘round

To find a young man in this town.

Well lookie-here in the workplace

I have seen another face,

Yes he’s young but that’s all good

And: he’s in my workplace ‘hood.

I love Italians; that he is

At his job he is a whiz.

“How about his looks?” you say,

I could view him night and day.

Big brown eyes, soft full lips,

To be caressed by fingertips.

Lean of build and also tall,

I’d really like for him to call.

Being in the same workplace

Occupying similar space.

I would like for him to see

That he should think of dating me!

He doesn’t know he’s in my sight

But this time I will do it right.

Ample opportunity

Will be provided so he’ll ask me

To start to date and get acquainted,

I’m not really antiquated!

Age is just a number see,

40 is the new 30!

I’ll let you know just how it goes,

If we make it to the throes

Of love and all that follows it,

In this quest I will not quit!

Rita Debnam

April 25th, 2008

P.S. I wish I could remember who this last guy was!