Jennie-O No!!

 Thanksgiving is well in the rearview mirror but I have to speak about this. It's about my Thanksgiving turkey.

I always get a Butterball (if it's on sale) or Shady Brook. They are nice, plump, round, flavorful and juicy. And they were on sale! However, by the time I got to my local supermarket they were all gone. Thankfully, they had a substitute for the same price: Jennie-O. I had heard of Jennie-O poultry so I figured I'd give it a try. I only needed a small turkey and after much frozen digging, I found the smallest one which was 11 pounds. I put it in my shopping cart and went happily on my way.

The problem started when I put it on the shopping belt. It didn't 'stand' flat, but seemed to lean to the side. I propped it up: it leaned again. Well it had to be because it was frozen. (famous last words) So I kept it in the car until I was ready to move it to the refrigerator to thaw. 

Thanksgiving morning I took out my roaster, placed it on the stove, and got thawed Miss Jennie-O out of the fridge and put her in the sink. Started my water, cut her out of her packaging and...stared. Something was odd about this turkey. She was...kind of skinny. The skin seemed...odd and loose, like she'd been dieting and lost alot of weight. I picked up a corner of the skin and there was no fat! Someone had taken all of the delicious, flavorful fat and plumpness away, then laid the skin back down! My turkey looked like it had been doing aerobic training! I looked at the packaging: in essence it said that Jennie-O is low fat, healthy turkey. That isn't what I wanted! I wanted fat, plump turkey! That's why the poor thing was leaning: there was no fat to hold it up! Oh dear. She had a pop-up timer but it was barely holding on because the turkey was so lean. Ugh.

Trying to hold on to some optimism, I stuffed her, seasoned her and put her in the oven: still leaning. I hoped for the best!

Unfortunately, hope did not spring eternal. Once she was done roasting, Miss Jennie looked like an old lady who had spent too much time in the tanning booth. Yet I still sliced her and served her -

And found out that even the dogs didn't like her. We always fix them a Thanksgiving dinner plate, but Vivian refused to touch the turkey and ate around it. Lilly gave it the old college try, but left some on her plate which was a first. I couldn't eat it because leanness = dryness. Even my delicious homemade gravy couldn't save her.  I was going to save the carcass for turkey soup but then I figured why bother? So a day or two later what was left of Miss Jennie was discarded.

Here is my takeaway: don't buy a turkey you're unfamiliar with just because it's on sale. Plan ahead and get your Butterball or Shady Brook early! Otherwise you'll be stuck with the turkey with the gym membership. And after this: we'll be having HAM for Christmas!