Irrational Fears - The Musical

 When I worked at State Farm, I had a good friend named Amy. She is one of the funniest people I know. As we worked together, we shared stories of raising kids, life before kids, being a working mom and some personal stuff as good friends will. One day we were talking about a show she had seen where stars were taken to haunted places and filmed to get their reactions. This led into a discussion about what we're afraid of. After listening to a couple of mine Amy said, "Good Lord, there's a Broadway show in there somewhere!" After that, whenever something would get mentioned and I'd say I was afraid of it, she would say, "Another act in Irrational Fears: the Musical!"

With that being said, I'm going to give you a few examples of what seems perfectly rational to me to be afraid of, but sent Amy to her keyboard to compose the score to my Broadway show. I've even managed to get over some of these fears!

Pink Floyd: when I was a kid my brothers listened to this group. They said it was "head music". I knew this related to drugs, so I thought if I listened to it I would get hooked on drugs. I didn't want that!

The Three Stooges: even as a child, I thought they looked like child molesters because they were in black and white. This also went for Laurel and Hardy, the Little Rascals (who looked like adults posing as children), Charlie Chaplin and the episodes of Superman with the mole people. 

Dr. Hook & the Medicine Show: the guy with the eye patch. 'Nuff said.

Raisins: once my mother bought raisins from a store that is so long gone that no one would remember it. It was called Gateway. Anyhoo, she put them in a fridge drawer and kind of forgot about them. When I went to the fridge and pulled out that drawer: let's just say the raisins were moving on their own. To this day I still won't touch them no matter how fresh!

Puppies: my evil older brothers used to tell the neighbor's puppy to sic me when it came into our yard. The puppy was so small it hopped instead of ran, but it scared my little four year old butt anyway. Haters!

Water: Also when I was still basically a toddler, Marie would often wash my hair in the kitchen sink with the sprayer. Of course the water would spray everywhere and get in my face and I thought she was trying to drown me. (hey, maybe she was) I would call on the Lord to save me, and it worked because I'm still here! 😉

 Shorter than usual people: I am tall. They are not children yet are small. I'm not sure why this frightened me, but it did! Marie used to say to me, "I thought Clancy was going to not grow. If his growth had been stunted, would you be afraid of him?" It took me a long time to answer!

Carrots: When I was a kid I loved raw carrots. One day I was eating one and choked. My brothers laughed at me as I tried to breathe and made fun of me for weeks afterwards. They didn't really like me, did they?

 Keith: he went through a very angry phase when we were younger. When he would ask me for a ride, I was always afraid that he was going to punch me in the face while I was driving. I stopped taking his calls!

Popeye: it started out in black and white. Olive Oyl was too skinny; and I was afraid of the goons from Goon Island.

The Nutcracker: to this day the Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy gives me chills, and not in a good way.

There you have it: the short list of my irrational fears. I'm over all of them except for the raisins and Three Stooges, et al. I even went to see Roger Waters a few years ago: and it was the best concert I had ever attended! And I'm drug free!

I haven't talked to Amy in awhile. If you're still working on that musical, remember I get half the royalties!