Thanks Burtie!

 I have a co-worker that I have nicknamed Burtie. I only call her that in emails, and no one else calls her that. But it seemed like a fitting nickname to me, so I'm going with it!

Anyhoo, the other day Burtie and I were chatting for a few minutes about our mothers, and how saintly they thought they were. "One time when I was maybe five," I began, "my parents took us to the store with them. When we got back to the car, I showed Marie a package of life savers." "Where did you get that?" she asked me. "From the store," Of course this did not sit well with her at all since it wasn't paid for. "That is stealing," she admonished, "and we don't do that." "I'm sorry," I said, feeling terrible. "That's okay," Marie said. "Just don't do it again. Give those to me." I did, and she proceeded to eat them in front of us kids. "Let that be a lesson to you," she concluded. Um...what was the lesson? Wait until your parent isn't around and then eat your stolen goods?

Burtie laughed. "That's a good one! But I bet I can top that;" She then told her story:

"When I was around three or four, my saintly mother took us to the store with her. She expected all of her children to be pious and saintly like she was but we were kids. So we went through the store and she got the items we needed and then went back to the car. Unbeknownst to us, my brother had taken some candy from the store and was eating it like there was no tomorrow. But my mother noticed and said, "What are you doing?" When my brother didn't say anything she made us all get out of the car and she marched us back into the store. She explained to the manager what had happened and he said, "Oh it's okay, it's kids being kids." "Oh?" my mother said. "When he comes back here in 15 years and steals from you, are you still going to say that?" The manager was nonplussed at that. "I want  you to punish him so he never steals again." The manager said, "What do you want me to do?" And my mother said in a low, menacing voice, "I want you to call the police."

"Well you wouldn't think something like that would happen, but by now the manager was afraid of my mother, and rightfully so! So believe it or not: the police were called in to scare my brother straight. And at the end of it all the store actually posted my brother's picture on the wall and it said, "If you see this person keep an eye on him. He's a thief."

I was aghast. "Are you kidding me??"

"Nope! My mother meant business! And it scared me so much: I've never to this day EVER stolen anything. We went into that Barber's Market almost every day and there was my little brother's picture. It was so embarrassing!"

I laughed and laughed. "That is awesome! Your mother is a gangster!"

"Yes she is!"

I just loved that story. Thanks Burtie for letting me tell it!