It Must Be The Flip Flops

So…Kitty was at work and it was just Brie and I at home. When Kitty’s away, Brie and I usually play, ha ha.

You know how we watch the dance shows, then I get a wild hair and want to try some of the dance moves, and it always turns out the same way: me with an injury.  Well we were watching something safe last night: the Biggest Loser.

I’m rather late to the party where this show is concerned. Brie turned me on to it maybe 3 years ago, and I really enjoy it.  The ups, downs, trials and tribulations of the contestants as they try to lose weight and give themselves a second chance at living a full life.  I love the inspiration of it, even as I was eating a nice bowl of Triple Chocolate Trifecta ice cream as I watched them work out!

Anyhoo, the toughest thing for me is to watch them in the gym for the first time. They are passing out and puking and all sorts of horribleness, yet they persevere. I am always afraid that they’re going to have heart attacks and keel over, but thankfully they never do.

And that’s when I had a thought: all of these people who weigh much more than I do, are up there doing all of these exercises.   At one point they only  had to do 30 jumping jacks. “I can do that, “I said.

Brie looked at me. “You can do what?”

“30 jumping jacks.”

She burst out laughing. “No you can’t! You can’t even get your feet up off the floor to jump!”

“Yes I can! And jumping jacks are easy: of course I can do them.”

“Yeah okay mom.”

The gauntlet had been thrown down so of course I picked it up. “Watch!” I marched myself from the living room into the kitchen with its bare floor, Pumpkin at my heels.  “This is going to be so easy. Are you watching?”

She finished the last 22 seconds of her Bejeweled Blitz game on her phone. “Yes mom, you have my undivided attention.”

“Okay then!” I proceeded to do my first one. “Are you watching?”

“Yes. Did your feet actually come up off the floor?”

“Of course they did! That was my practice one so now I’ll do the other 29.” I then began doing the jumping jacks in earnest.

“Seriously mom, I don’t see your feet coming off the floor.”

“They are!” I huffed, trying to lift my feet higher. “It’s the flip flops! They aren’t clearing the floor.”

“Well your feet are in them so how are your feet in the air and your flip flops are not?”

“I don’t know!” I puffed, trying to continue moving my arms in conjunction with making sure my feet were doing what they were supposed to be doing. “But I’m doing them! Look at me! My feet are definitely higher. The flip flops aren’t holding me back!”

“Oh I’m looking all right,” she smirked.  “Good thing you’re wearing the new bra to keep everything in place!”

I would have laughed but I didn’t have enough breath left in my body to do so. Plus hey: it really was an awesome bra, made the twins look good and yet still held everything in place. But I digress...

As I huffed and puffed and groaned and moaned and jumped, I had a new respect for the contestants on the show.  And by the time I hit 30 jumping jacks, my legs and even the tops of my feet were burning and screaming from not wearing the proper footwear for exercise. No matter how you look at it: flip flops are not Nikes.  And all to prove a point to Brie, who wasn’t dumb enough to try to do something that the Biggest Loser contestants were doing.

While I was lying in bed later with my legs burning and my feet killing me, trying to find my peppermint leg oil I had 3 realizations: 1) I needed to tip my hat to what those people were going through all in the name of being healthy again; 2) maybe it was time for me to concentrate on my own health and get back to the gym; and 3) no matter how you look at it: flip flops are NOT proper footwear to exercise in!