Yanni Jr.

I had a dream last night about an old "friend". In the dream his sister had found me and told me that he wanted to see me because he was dying. His brother was there too. I had never met either before, but they were very nice in my dream.

So in honor of my friend, here's a poem.

Standing in front of the closet,

Deciding what to wear.

Should I put on black or red?

And what’s up with my hair?

 

I was going on a date

With someone who seemed nice.

We had spoken on the phone

Not once, not twice, but thrice.

 

It  was a blind date, after all

So I should choose with care.

Long skirt, short skirt or a dress?

Stockings or legs bare?

 

Satisfied, I grabbed my keys

And headed out the door.

Entering the restaurant

My jaw dropped to the floor.

Every woman has a man

That is her fantasy.

Here was mine, his hand outstretched:

My date looked just like Yanni!

 

Long dark hair, mustache in place,

Eyes long-lashed and green.

As far as a blind date he was

The best I’d ever seen!

 

We had dinner; well, he did.

I lost my appetite.

I was in such awe of him

I couldn’t eat a bite.

 

However, conversation flowed:

He was so damned smart!

As we talked I swear I felt that

Cupid shoot his dart.

 

As time went on I found it hard

To truly understand,

How I had been lucky enough

To find this Yanni-man.

 

His looks not only fit the bill

His wallet fit it too.

He said, “Take care of your kids,

“And I’ll take care of you.”

 

I had no complaints with that

And thought I’d found my man.

Turned out I was wrong again

Fate dealt a rotten hand.

 

Although we were the best of friends

I wanted so much more.

He couldn’t give his all to me

So I walked out the door.

 

I wanted husband, lover, friend

I thought he’d want the same.

It didn’t quite work out that way,

I’ve just myself to blame.

 

Yanni Jr. couldn’t quite

Commit himself to me.

The culprit to our happiness?

His homosexuality.

 

He tried denying what was true

To me right from the start.

But still I couldn’t stop myself

From giving him my heart.

 

Don’t think that I went blindly in,

The signals were sure there.

Underneath the big green eyes

And flowing, Yanni hair.

 

Foolishly I thought my love could

Get us past this glitch.

And it did for two great years

But then went in the ditch.

 

Thankfully we never made it

To sharing the same bed.

Otherwise this stage of life

I’d be facing with dread.

 

Trying to deny yourself

Is wrong right from the start.

Especially when what you do

Affects another’s heart.

 

Get all your information first

And please don’t be like me.

An important question does concern

His sexuality.

 

Even if he loves you it is

Doubtful that he’ll change,

Just forget the picket fence and

Big home on the range.

 

Do he and I still keep in touch?

Our paths sometimes do cross.

Of course I wish him all the best

I know he feels the loss.

 

The moral of the story is

Don’t enter love blindly.

Even if your dream comes true

And he looks just like Yanni.

 

*

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It Must Be The Flip Flops

So…Kitty was at work and it was just Brie and I at home. When Kitty’s away, Brie and I usually play, ha ha.

You know how we watch the dance shows, then I get a wild hair and want to try some of the dance moves, and it always turns out the same way: me with an injury.  Well we were watching something safe last night: the Biggest Loser.

I’m rather late to the party where this show is concerned. Brie turned me on to it maybe 3 years ago, and I really enjoy it.  The ups, downs, trials and tribulations of the contestants as they try to lose weight and give themselves a second chance at living a full life.  I love the inspiration of it, even as I was eating a nice bowl of Triple Chocolate Trifecta ice cream as I watched them work out!

Anyhoo, the toughest thing for me is to watch them in the gym for the first time. They are passing out and puking and all sorts of horribleness, yet they persevere. I am always afraid that they’re going to have heart attacks and keel over, but thankfully they never do.

And that’s when I had a thought: all of these people who weigh much more than I do, are up there doing all of these exercises.   At one point they only  had to do 30 jumping jacks. “I can do that, “I said.

Brie looked at me. “You can do what?”

“30 jumping jacks.”

She burst out laughing. “No you can’t! You can’t even get your feet up off the floor to jump!”

“Yes I can! And jumping jacks are easy: of course I can do them.”

“Yeah okay mom.”

The gauntlet had been thrown down so of course I picked it up. “Watch!” I marched myself from the living room into the kitchen with its bare floor, Pumpkin at my heels.  “This is going to be so easy. Are you watching?”

She finished the last 22 seconds of her Bejeweled Blitz game on her phone. “Yes mom, you have my undivided attention.”

“Okay then!” I proceeded to do my first one. “Are you watching?”

“Yes. Did your feet actually come up off the floor?”

“Of course they did! That was my practice one so now I’ll do the other 29.” I then began doing the jumping jacks in earnest.

“Seriously mom, I don’t see your feet coming off the floor.”

“They are!” I huffed, trying to lift my feet higher. “It’s the flip flops! They aren’t clearing the floor.”

“Well your feet are in them so how are your feet in the air and your flip flops are not?”

“I don’t know!” I puffed, trying to continue moving my arms in conjunction with making sure my feet were doing what they were supposed to be doing. “But I’m doing them! Look at me! My feet are definitely higher. The flip flops aren’t holding me back!”

“Oh I’m looking all right,” she smirked.  “Good thing you’re wearing the new bra to keep everything in place!”

I would have laughed but I didn’t have enough breath left in my body to do so. Plus hey: it really was an awesome bra, made the twins look good and yet still held everything in place. But I digress...

As I huffed and puffed and groaned and moaned and jumped, I had a new respect for the contestants on the show.  And by the time I hit 30 jumping jacks, my legs and even the tops of my feet were burning and screaming from not wearing the proper footwear for exercise. No matter how you look at it: flip flops are not Nikes.  And all to prove a point to Brie, who wasn’t dumb enough to try to do something that the Biggest Loser contestants were doing.

While I was lying in bed later with my legs burning and my feet killing me, trying to find my peppermint leg oil I had 3 realizations: 1) I needed to tip my hat to what those people were going through all in the name of being healthy again; 2) maybe it was time for me to concentrate on my own health and get back to the gym; and 3) no matter how you look at it: flip flops are NOT proper footwear to exercise in!

Food For Thought At Breakfast

I took my girls out to breakfast this morning (and they took me to the cleaners!) at my favorite place: The Peppermill. As we were being seated I noticed a couple of tables had been pushed together and a large party was sitting there. I didn't pay too much attention to them; but when we sat down Brie said, "That's 'Dre."  "My cousin 'Dre?" I looked around.  "No, my friend 'Dre."

I surreptitiously glanced over and sure enough: it was one of her best friends since middle school. "Well aren't you going to go say hi?"  She sadly shook her head. "Why not?"  "Because his wife doesn't let him talk to me."

I was startled for a minute. They had been friends for years, yet he wasn't allowed to talk to her?

I guess I shouldn't have been that surprised because I had been on both sides of that fence before.  For some reason, there are people that are so insecure in their relationships that they feel if their spouse/significant other has a friend of the opposite sex, they're going to cheat.  I say that if you don't trust your partner: don't be with them.

I have always had male friends. A contributing factor in this is that when I was in school, the boys weren't allowed to date me because I was a girl of color. So all we could be was friends. I got used to that type of relationship with guys.

When I married the "was-band", the first thing he did was make me get rid of my male friends: the ones I'd had for years because he didn't trust. And because I was, for the most part, afraid of him, I did. I felt terrible about it, but I was a wife and thought I had to do what he said.

When my brief marriage was over and I moved back home, I thought it would be easy to get my friends back but it wasn't.  I had to work very hard to regain their friendship because they had been so hurt.  It was at that point I decided that I would never let another person tell me who I could be friends with.

On the other end: my friend Skye, who I still haven't told you about, did that to me.   We used to hang out a lot and I met a couple of his girlfriends. I was always my usual charming self and I felt that I got along well with the girlfriends.  But we ended up going through a period of almost 3 years where we didn't speak: due to a misfired text.

When we finally started talking again, and then saw each other, he told me that none of his girlfriends had liked me. I was shocked at this. But the bottom line was: they didn't trust even though he and I have always just been friends, so they didn't want me around.  But the joke's on them: they're gone and I'm still here! And Skye and I have decided that it hurts too much when we aren't in each other's lives, so our friendship will not be broken again.

When 'Dre and his family finished their breakfast they got up to leave. I noticed he kind of hung back and let the others leave first. Then he looked at us and smiled, said a little something quick to Brie and then left.  Maybe that little something was all he felt he could do, after spending a good portion of breakfast time staring at Brie. Maybe he just wanted to let her know that in his heart they were still friends.  And maybe someday he'll man up enough to be back in her life.

'Nuff said.