Behind the Music: What You Won't Do For Love

 Singer Bobby Caldwell, famous for the song "What You Won't Do For Love",  died on March 14th, 2023 in the arms of his wife, at the age of 71. My first introduction to him was at the beginning of his career, when a "boyfriend" showed up at my house on Valentine's Day with the red, heart-shaped record that had been pressed especially for this occasion. He played it for me, I liked it, and then I broke up with him a couple of days later. I wish I still had that record now: it's probably worth a lot of money! But I digress...

Mr. Caldwell had that smooth, soulful, R&B crooner voice that I really liked. Where had this guy been hiding? Actually, he hadn't been hiding: he was being hid and there's a difference. He was born in New York but raised in Miami. He started his career playing rhythm guitar for Little Richard before he began his own career in the late '70s. The album cover for his debut album featured a silhouette of a man watching a sunset. You can't see his face. That's because the record label didn't want his race identified in that R&B market, since he was white! To this day, there are still many people who don't know or hadn't realized that he wasn't a black man. Yep: apparently at that time Miami wasn't quite ready for "blue-eyed soul". And to this day some people still believe his voice was dubbed!

Anyway, when he started touring with Natalie Cole he couldn't hide his identity. And he shouldn't have had to. But along with being a singer/songwriter of his own music, he also wrote for other people. He penned the Amy Grant / Peter Cetera song "The Next Time I Fall", among other songs for other singers.

"What You Won't Do For Love" was covered by artists such as Boyz II Men and Michael Bolton.  It was also sampled by Tupac in his song "Do For Love". Other hip-hop artists that sampled his songs included The Notorious B.I.G., Common ("The Light" sampled from the song "Open Your Eyes"), Lil Nas X and Chance the Rapper. John Legend did a cover of "Open Your Eyes" from the sophomore album "Cat In The Hat".

He transitioned into recording and performing American standards in the  1990s, including songs by Nat King Cole and Frank Sinatra. He released his last album, "Cool Uncle", in 2015. 

As per Regenerative Medicine LA, his health had declined after suffering severe side effects from consuming a fluoroquinolone antibiotic. Such a shame...

Although Bobby Caldwell will be missed, thankfully his music will live on.

My Newest Obsession

 Ever since I was a little girl, I've always had a radio or some kind of music playing all night. I had some anxiety as a young girl and music soothed those anxieties. When I grew up, I was so used to always having music, I couldn't sleep without it.

What I listened to over the years has changed, of course. But for many years I listened to the Classical channel. Loved it! But at 4 a.m. they had to have public programming since it was an NPR station, and I found it annoying so I switched to a religious station for overnight.

Approximately two years ago, I went back to Classical and that same public programming was on! But this time I actually listened to it. It was a half hour program called Capitol Connection, followed by a half hour program called Legislative Gazette. Oy vey: political shows???? So I laid there with a mad face as I listened to these two shows.

I am not a political person, but every Wednesday morning at 4 a.m. I would wake up and these shows would be on. So I listened to these shows! And after awhile: they became very interesting to me. I knew nothing about New York politics, but boy I know a lot now. And I love it!

Dr. Alan Chartock (WAMC) interviews a New York political figure each week and what I have learned is so fascinating. I learned names and scandals and I always wondered who these nefarious people were, and I'd google them. But I couldn't get all the backstory until...I started listening to past shows! What a wealth of information, and I could put the stories and names together, fill in the blanks to figure out how scandalous these politicians were. So far, I have listened to all of the shows going back to 2014 so I know who those scalawags are and what they did. Names like Todd Howe, Sheldon Silver, Joe Percoco and many, many more became so very familiar to me. And my new hero was Preet Bharara, former United States Attorney for the southern district of New York from 2009 - 2017. From listening to episodes about him and how he cleaned up a lot of political messes and put the bad guys in jail: he is a rock star!

I got to know the names and voices of a myriad of reporters: Ken Lovett (NY Daily News), Yancey Roy (Newsday), Casey Seiler (Times Union), Jimmy Vielkind (Wall Street Journal) and my personal favorite: Jesse McKinley (New York Times). We are even Instagram friends and we occasionally correspond. 😊 As for guests, some of my favorites are State Senator James Skoufis, Director of the Siena College Research Institute Dr. Don Levy (I was even picked to do one of the polls!), New York State Assembly Majority Leader Crystal peoples-Stokes, State Comptroller Tom DiNapoli and UUP President Fred Kowal. The one person I couldn't stand was Nick Langworthy, NYGOP Chairman because he was always mean to Alan Chartock. Rude!

So I have gone from non-politics to all of the politics! If I can't sleep, I'll go to Capitol Connection on my phone and listen to some favorite episodes. Currently those are the pandemic, Cuomo's ouster, two interviews with Preet Bharara and any interview Jesse McKinley has done. I listen until I fall asleep. Not because they are boring: but because they are soothing and sound like the voices of old friends.

Of course I have no one to talk to about my new obsession. You know Kitty has no interest and Brie says, "Really Mother? Shouldn't you be sleeping at that time?" I should but I just want more and more of Capitol Connection.  I want to share my newfound knowledge. Yep: I'm just that nerdy!

So google Capitol Connection (WAMC) and give it a whirl. You just might get addicted too! And I know you'll learn a lot about the politics of New York State. If I can: so can you 😉

An Interesting Question #2

 I was driving to work one day last week and an interesting question was posed on the morning show I was listening to. The question was: what shocking thing did you find out about someone after they died?

That's an easy one for me. But I'll give you a little backstory first.

When my mother was in the hospital, there were all kinds of hoops you had to jump through to get certain programs / insurance to pay for her stay(s). I had to contact everybody and their brother to get information. I had to get so much documentation and verification, on top of my usual life stuff. It was exhausting. However, doing my searches, etc., I found out more than I ever wanted to know.

It turns out that Marie was my father's 3rd wife. 😮 Forget about mind blown: this was a mind eff. How had this never been disclosed before?

I needed a copy of my father's service record. After much digging and some help from a hospital administrator, we were able to obtain a copy of it. I looked at it, but something wasn't quite right. It was the name of the spouse. It said "Lucille". I was like, "Did Marie go by a different name when she and dad met?" But then I saw the year: 1942. That couldn't be right. Marie would have only been 12 in 1942. Then it hit me: it wasn't Marie! That was punch number one.

I decided to do a little investigative work, with the help of Snoopy Brie. And she was good at it! However, we didn't find any information on a Lucille Debnam from the forties. Brie kept digging, since she had some free time at work, and lo and behold: when she clicked on another woman named Debnam, she had my father listed as her husband! There was a picture of her cemetery plot, her obituary which listed him as her husband as of 1975 (the year she died), and a link to his cemetery plot. WTF??? Punch number two...

So that made Marie spouse number three. At one point I did get around to asking her if she knew he'd had two other wives, but she said no I must be mistaken. Trust me: I'm not mistaken.

There you have it: the shocking thing I discovered about my father years after he died. We tried to get in touch with a member of Vinnie's family (that was #2's name) but they never responded. And unfortunately, there is only one person left on my father's side that might have been able to provide answers, but let's just say she isn't a reliable source. 

So I'm thinking that perhaps this is God's way of telling me that some doors are best left closed. Especially if there could be more information that would hurt me more than I've already been hurt in the past.

Do you have any shocking things that you've discovered? 

Not #1 in My Book

 Hard to believe that the Grammys were only last Sunday. I'm not even going to try to get into all the controversy and conspiracy theories surrounding that event. However, I did love the salute to 50 Years of Hip-Hop. Too bad it wasn't longer with more of the pioneers there, like the SugarHill Gang (remember Rapper's Delight?) and Grandmaster Flash, the OGs of hip hop.

Anyhoo, Brie found a list of the 50 greatest rappers of all time. I said, "Good grief, who came up with this list and put Jay-Z as number 1? Nope: not in my book. He'd be lucky to be in the top 20. Or 30.

But that got me thinking: who would be in my list of top 10 rappers of all time? I mean we all know I'm the Queen of rap music 😆 So here, in no particular order except for #1, are my top 10 rap artists of all time.

• Busta Rhymes - Woo Hah, Got You All in Check was his breakout hit with the syncopated beat. And if you're a true fan, you know his rapid fire delivery of the verse in Chris Brown's song 'Look at Me Now', which he performed at the Grammys. And yes: those are real words he is saying: amazing! 
• Remy Ma - Home girl was good before her jail sentence, but came back stronger afterwards. Fat Joe really put her on the map! 
• Queen Latifah - She was one of the earliest female rappers in hip hop. She was part of the Native Tongues crew, which consisted of the Jungle Brothers, De La Soul (R.I.P Trugoy alias Plug Two) and a Tribe Called Quest. They were known for their social consciousness when it came to rap.
• Missy Elliott - need I say more?
• Eve - The first lady of the Ruff Ryders, she held her own amongst rappers such as DMX. And that wasn't easy!
• DMX - Which actually stands for Dark Man X (how many of you knew that?) was the first artist to debut an album at number 1 five times in a row. He is known for his trademark growl when he raps, and was the reigning King of hardcore hip-hop.
• Ice Cube - Once a part of NWA, when he embarked on his solo career the hits kept on coming. With that angry face and matching delivery, you knew when Cube was on the mic.
• Dr. Dre - One of the founders of NWA. Who knew that he would go from songs like "F--k the Police" to receiving the First ever Dr. Dre Global Impact Award at the Grammys? And they used to say rap would get you nowhere...he knew exactly what he was doing every step of the way. 
• Tupac - He was definitely one of the most influential rappers of all time prior to his "death"; selling more than 75 million records. Rolling Stone ranks him among the 100 Greatest Artists of All Time. He was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in his first year of eligibility in 2017. He was inducted into the Hip-Hop Hall of Fame in 2002.  His posthumous Greatest Hits album (1998)was one of only nine hip hop albums to be certified Diamond in the U.S. Yet his life was cut short at the age of 25 (was it??). However, his music and legend live on. 
• Eminem - Without a doubt, this former angry young man is, in my book, the best rapper of all time. His lyrics, his delivery and his performances combine in a talent that pretty much defies description. We can thank Dr. Dre for this one!

So there you have it. Honorable mention has to go to Snoop Dog. But I think he'll forgive me. And sorry, not sorry Jay-Z. To me, you just don't hold up to my top 10. And everyone is entitled to their opinion.

Oh I Dreamed Last Night...

 It seems like such a long time since I posted. This is mostly because I had a bit of a health crisis a few weeks ago, so I didn't have the energy to post after I got out of the hospital. But baby: I'm back!!

A few nights ago I had a very interesting dream. I was doing a little shopping at an old-school store, like Ames or Zayre. I was pushing a stroller that apparently had my beautiful, sleeping 10-month-old baby in it, and I had my cell phone resting on my baby's stomach. I paused to look at something on a rack, and when I resumed pushing the stroller I noticed my cell phone was gone! Someone had the audacity to take it from on top of my baby! Another customer noticed my chagrin and told me I should go to customer service, as maybe someone had turned it in there. I guessed that made sense. So I went to customer service to check; and thankfully they did have my cell phone! Turning back to the stroller, I now saw that my baby was gone! Horrified, I looked everywhere for my baby but with no luck.

The next thing I knew I was home, and trying to decide how I could find my baby. I was getting ready to call the police when all of a sudden: my good friend Dave Thomas was there! (Dave actually died a few years ago, but I digress...) I said, "Dave! What are you doing here?" He answered, "I have something for you." Then he lightly throat-punched me, which kind of hurt and made me cough but I followed him into the next room. And there was my baby! Crying, I picked him up and held him. I went to thank Dave but he was gone. My baby had a scar by his chin and I thought someone had hurt him, but then I remembered it was an old scar.

I woke up. What the heck was that about? But as I laid there it hit me: it was January. Many years ago, when Brie was just a year old, I lost a baby that I was still mourning all these years later. Maybe God got tired of this every year. So...is it possible that He sent me this dream to show me that baby? The pregnancy had not made it to term, hence the missing baby in the stroller. Then my good friend who is deceased came to me (not really him, I'm sure, but probably an angel representing him) to finally show me the baby. All this time, since I have 2 daughters, I assumed it was a girl. But lo and behold: it was a beautiful boy! And since I got to see him: I'm sure he is being taken very good care of in Heaven, waiting until we really can meet.

You may not believe what I believe, but this certainly did bring me comfort. I fully believe the Bible when it says that we will know our loved ones in Heaven. So that means I will recognize that little boy when I see him. By the way: that baby boy's name is Rafael, nicknamed Rafi. 💓

The Forgotten One at Christmas

 Christmas time is here! Amidst all the hustle and bustle, present buying, Church service preparation, Christmas Eve / Christmas Day meal shopping, planning and prep, something seems to be overlooked year after year.

All thoughts go automatically to Mary, the virgin mother of Jesus, and of course the Christ child Himself. But how much thought is given to Joseph, who played a small but important part in the Christmas story?

As you know, the angel Gabriel appeared to Mary and told her she was highly favored in God's eyes. She was chosen to be the vessel to carry the Son of God through immaculate inception. She was scared, and worried, and had questions but as a girl of faith (she might have been 16) she accepted this. She wasn't sure how this would all play out, since she was engaged to Joseph and she was going to be pregnant soon, but her faith gave her strength.

However, imagine her trepidation when she actually had to tell her fiancé that she was going to be carrying the Son of God, and hadn't actually cheated on him? And the conversation went exactly as she thought it would: he wasn't going to marry her. But because he was a man of honor, he said he would "put her away quietly" so no one would badmouth her.

Then, Gabriel made an appearance to Joseph in a dream to tell him that he can still make Mary his wife. He explained the circumstances and being a man of God, Joseph decided yes, he would quietly wed Mary his betrothed and become the stepfather to Jesus.

Even with that honor, there isn't a whole lot more about Joseph mentioned. We don't get much more insight into him.

And then: Michael Card wrote a song that sums it up perfectly. Here are the lyrics; and I get no recompense for this, it is all Michael Card. Please feel free to YouTube the song: it's absolutely beautiful.

Joseph's Song

How could it be this baby in my arms
Sleeping now, so peacefully.
The Son of God, the angel said
How could it be?

Lord I know He's not my own.
Not of my flesh, not of my bone.
Still Father let this baby be
The son of my love.

Chorus
Father show me where I fit into this plan of yours
How can a man be father to the Son of God?
Lord for all my life I've been a simple carpenter
How can I raise a king? How can I raise a king...

He looks so small, His face and hands so fair.
And when He cries the sun just seems to disappear.
But when He laughs it shines again.
How could it be?

Chorus

Father show me where I fit into this plan of yours.
How can a man be father to the Son of God?
Lord for all my life I've been a simple carpenter.
How can I raise a king? How can I raise a king...

How could it be this baby in my arms,
Sleeping now, so peacefully.
The Son of God, the angel said.
How could it be?

As beautiful as this song is, I have never heard it sung in a church service. Since I knew I'd never be able to get the key right, I couldn't sing the song. So I asked my good friend Jim Bird if he would sing it as special music during yesterday's service. He was honored to do so, and even dedicated it to my sister Robin. Once she discovered this song, it became her favorite for Christmas. It was just beautiful...thank you Jim.

I hope this has you thinking about the small but necessary part Joseph played in the Christmas story. I wish you all a Merry Christmas.

What They're Missing

 I received the local obituaries in my inbox this morning as I always do, for some reason. Maybe because last year, being late to the party, I found out that a friend of mine had died from covid several months ago, and I was devastated that I hadn't known so I could have reached out to the family. Hence my every morning delivery.

Anyhoo, when I opened them the first name that I saw was very familiar, although I didn't personally know the gentleman. He had died Thanksgiving morning surrounded by his loving family. Reading through, I realized that yes: he was the grandfather of a good friend of mine who was mentioned as a survivor of the deceased. So I sent him a quick text expressing my condolences. I was rather shocked at what I received back:

"Thank you. I don't even know him. I never even talked to the guy. He must be a real big piece of crap to not wanna have even met me. How did you hear that he died?" Hmm...apparently the grandfather wasn't surrounded by all of his family when he died; but just the loving ones indeed! 

I was getting ready to text him when he called me. I told him I had seen the obituary. Nope: no one had told him or his father that the man had died on Thanksgiving, no less. He wanted to tell his father before anyone else beat him to it. I said, "You really never met him?" He replied, "Nope, and now I don't have to worry about meeting him. I'm not sure how heaven and hell work. But I hope wishes can send someone to hell, because I hope he's there and his wife goes with him."

Listening between the lines, I realized there was a lot of hurt there. To know that your grandfather was local, but never wanted to meet you. And I'm pretty sure I deduced why...

First of all, I love my friend. He is funny and charming and business smart. We get together periodically and always have the best time and the best laughs. And he tells me everything. So thinking about how his family represents itself in public, I knew why the grandfather didn't want to meet him. It's because he is half Mexican, and that "sullies" the bloodline.

You would think that in this day and age, something like that would be considered ridiculous. But no: it still happens and could be generational with the grandfather. His father and mother haven't been together in many years, but the family still wasn't approving of this. So they ended up shunning the father and my friend.

That's really a shame because they don't know what they're missing. He is generous and enthusiastic about life and the glass is always half full. He has a great sense of humor and tells the funniest stories. He continuously works to better himself and hurts no one, although I know at times he has been hurt. And he's pretty easy on the eyes!

So it hurts me that he has an entire side of his family that dismisses him for a lame-ass reason. It isn't my place to say who this incredible young man is, but I'm going to pray a blessing for him. He knows I am always there for him. And I will pray that he rises above the bitterness, hurt and anger because he's better than that and better than the haters. The people in his life that love him, like me, are his family. And I'm going to get him to church so he doesn't really wish people to go to hell. Thankfully, God takes care of that. 🙏