What They're Missing

 I received the local obituaries in my inbox this morning as I always do, for some reason. Maybe because last year, being late to the party, I found out that a friend of mine had died from covid several months ago, and I was devastated that I hadn't known so I could have reached out to the family. Hence my every morning delivery.

Anyhoo, when I opened them the first name that I saw was very familiar, although I didn't personally know the gentleman. He had died Thanksgiving morning surrounded by his loving family. Reading through, I realized that yes: he was the grandfather of a good friend of mine who was mentioned as a survivor of the deceased. So I sent him a quick text expressing my condolences. I was rather shocked at what I received back:

"Thank you. I don't even know him. I never even talked to the guy. He must be a real big piece of crap to not wanna have even met me. How did you hear that he died?" Hmm...apparently the grandfather wasn't surrounded by all of his family when he died; but just the loving ones indeed! 

I was getting ready to text him when he called me. I told him I had seen the obituary. Nope: no one had told him or his father that the man had died on Thanksgiving, no less. He wanted to tell his father before anyone else beat him to it. I said, "You really never met him?" He replied, "Nope, and now I don't have to worry about meeting him. I'm not sure how heaven and hell work. But I hope wishes can send someone to hell, because I hope he's there and his wife goes with him."

Listening between the lines, I realized there was a lot of hurt there. To know that your grandfather was local, but never wanted to meet you. And I'm pretty sure I deduced why...

First of all, I love my friend. He is funny and charming and business smart. We get together periodically and always have the best time and the best laughs. And he tells me everything. So thinking about how his family represents itself in public, I knew why the grandfather didn't want to meet him. It's because he is half Mexican, and that "sullies" the bloodline.

You would think that in this day and age, something like that would be considered ridiculous. But no: it still happens and could be generational with the grandfather. His father and mother haven't been together in many years, but the family still wasn't approving of this. So they ended up shunning the father and my friend.

That's really a shame because they don't know what they're missing. He is generous and enthusiastic about life and the glass is always half full. He has a great sense of humor and tells the funniest stories. He continuously works to better himself and hurts no one, although I know at times he has been hurt. And he's pretty easy on the eyes!

So it hurts me that he has an entire side of his family that dismisses him for a lame-ass reason. It isn't my place to say who this incredible young man is, but I'm going to pray a blessing for him. He knows I am always there for him. And I will pray that he rises above the bitterness, hurt and anger because he's better than that and better than the haters. The people in his life that love him, like me, are his family. And I'm going to get him to church so he doesn't really wish people to go to hell. Thankfully, God takes care of that. 🙏

Time Loop

 I have a friend that means a lot to me. We met in 2005, and became the unlikeliest of friends.  To be honest: there were times when we were not friends. However, we always made our way back to each other.

We worked for the same company but in different cities. When my job took me to the western part of the state, we usually arranged to see each other. It was always nice to see him in person instead of calling or texting or emailing.

We were casually texting in May when he dropped a bomb on me. "I have cancer."

You want to talk about hitting a brick wall...I was stunned. "What can you tell me? Are you okay?" He is not. After more testing, he informed me that it had metastasized, it is inoperable and he is getting a series of chemo shots. 

It was very hard for me to wrap my head around. He is so full of life, 6'5" tall and always so big and vibrant with a quirky sense of humor that you had to be quick to keep up with. I adore my friend and can't imagine him suffering or not being here. We only talked about it a little bit and I told him I would pray for him. He appreciated that.

Fast forward two months later and I get this text: "Today is attorney day. Have to take care of some stuff." That was the second brick wall I hit. That's something  you do when you don't expect to be here a whole lot longer. That was the one that made it all clear to me: I was eventually going to lose him. And the weird thing was: that morning, before I woke up, I actually had a dream that involved his attorney. That might have been why his news was so scary for me.

I had to see him. But whenever I would ask, he would put me off. Or send me a picture. He's lost so much weight, but even though his face is so much thinner: it's still a face that I love.

I worry about him so much. But he doesn't want that.

I haven't been sleeping well, as you can imagine. A couple of weeks ago I got up for work and started my usual routine. When I came out of the bathroom, I looked at the DVR clock. It said 7:02. I was way ahead of schedule so I took a little time with the dogs. I looked at the clock again. It was 7:02. What? I looked at the microwave clock. It said 7:08. I looked back at the DVR. 7:02. Back to the microwave: 7:02! WTH? Was I in some kind of time loop? It was frightening. I looked back at the DVR: still 7:02. Now the microwave said 7:13, and so did my cell. Shit, I had to get out of there and away from that 7:02!

When I got to work I emailed Brie and told her what had happened. "What do you think was up with that 7:02? Did you notice it?" She hadn't because she wasn't looking at the TV. "I'm sure it's nothing mom." "Okay."

But after those emails it  hit me: was that clock stuck on 7:02 because my friend had died at that time? I immediately texted him: "You need to text me back immediately. I don't care if  you just say hi. TEXT ME." He did not. "Seriously!" No word. Oh snap: was I going to have to call his wife? I was just about to call her when he responded, "I loved the poem you sent me last night." I didn't know whether to be mad or relieved. 

I emailed Brie and she replied, "Yeah...I was afraid of that. I thought he died at 7:02 too. Thank God he's okay because you are not ready." I don't know if I ever will be...

Later that morning she texted this to me:

So that was interesting. But I still was freaked out about it. And I don't do numerology or any of that stuff. However, good to know that at least it's an angel number. And hopefully I won't be stuck in any more time loops!

Behind the Music - Summer, the First Time

 The title kind of says it all. But let me back up...

Bobby Goldsboro was a popular pop and country singer/songwriter in the 60s and 70s. He was best known for wholesome songs like "Watching Scotty Grow", "Little Things", "Honey" (the biggest hit of his career) and "Little Green Apples".

Then once the 70s hit, Mr. Goldsboro went left in 1973. He wrote a controversial song entitled, "Summer (The First Time), which reached the Top 25. As a young girl barely out of toddler hood 😄 this song was absolutely scandalous. Let's look at the lyrics. As always, I own no rights to this song and make no profit from it:

'It was a hot afternoon, the last day of June, and the sun was a demon. The clouds were afraid, 110 in the shade, and the pavement was steaming.' So far, so good: it's a hot day and he really drove home this point and set the stage.

Then we get to 'I told Billy Ray, in his red Chevrolet, I needed time for some thinking. I was just walking by, when I looked in her eye, and I swore it was winking.' Yep: now we're starting to get an inkling...

'She was 31 and I was 17-' Hold the phone Mrs. Robinson: what nefarious thoughts were budding in your head about this innocent boy? 'I knew nothing 'bout love, she knew everything, but I sat down beside her on a front porch swing, and wondered what the coming night would bring?" I bet you did little boy! Even though you shouldn't have been wondering anything where this woman was concerned, except how many other teen boys had sat on that porch with her! Let's continue:

'The sun closed her eyes, as it climbed in the skies, and it started to swelter. The sweat trickled down, the front of her gown, and I thought it would melt her.' Now see if it was me, I wouldn't have been sitting outside sweating. But apparently she wanted him to watch the sweat dripping off of her. Yuck.

'She threw back her hair, like I wasn't there, and she sipped on a julep. Her shoulders were bare, and I tried not to stare, when I looked at her two lips.' Um...are you sure it was her two lips you were trying not to stare at? 'And when she looked at me I heard her softly say, "I know you're young, you don't know what to do or say, but stay with me until the sun has gone away, and I will chase the boy in you away."' Say what Mrs. Robinson??? Was 17 the age of consent in your state in 1973?

'And then she smiled, then we talked for a while, then we walked for a mile to the sea. We sat on the sand and a boy took her hand, but I saw the sun rise as a man.' 😲

At this part of the song you hear the crescendo of violins and hear waves in the background...you get the idea. Just in case you didn't realize they had sex. I'm sorry: she had sex. He "made love". And I guess his parents didn't realize he wasn't home at lights out. Or maybe they thought he was spending the night at Billy Ray's. Seriously.

The last part of the song: 'Ten years have gone by since I looked in her eye, but the memory lingers. I go back in my mind, to the very first time, and feel the touch of her fingers.' I have absolutely no doubt that he remembers that time: probably every single day. And I'm sure if he was with anyone else after that (no guarantees!) he compared them all to Mrs. Robinson. But I bet her next deflowering was with Billy Ray! Where's that song???

Thank You, Merci, Gracias!!

 As of today, October 10, 2022, my little blog has 30,004 reads! Whoo hoo!! Of course, it is thanks to all of you that are faithful readers. I am truly humbled at your loyalty; and appreciate those of you who share my blog with the people you know 💛 

I would like to share some numbers with you; as it appears that not only is the blog being read in the U.S.: but also overseas! I always say I have no idea how they found it, but I'm glad they did. I know that Google + (rest in peace) had a lot to do with it, so I am thankful for the time that platform was alive and well. Regardless, over the lifetime of the blog, here is a synopsis of where it has been read:

19,600 U.S, 1,330 France, 1,140 Russia, 661 Canada, 644 Unknown Region (the International Space Station???), 615 United Arab Emirates, 598 Germany, 466 Poland, 336 Portugal, 203 Spain, 134 Ukraine, 126 India, 121 Belgium, 113 Mauritius, 109 Netherlands, 103 Argentina, 95 Japan, 86 Switzerland, 63 United Kingdom and 3,420 Other (where / who are these people?).

I wish I knew who some of the people are in the foreign countries, but it's all good. I am thankful for their readership!

I appreciate each and every one of you. Thank you so much for your loyalty. Hopefully I can keep you entertained, or thoughtful, or emotional for the next 30,000! And always feel free to leave me a comment or just reach out in general. Much love! 💛💓

Yes it's a real cake, and yes it was delicious! I will miss Gamble's Bakery when they close at the end of the month. May the memories live on forever 😎, but hopefully not the pounds!

A Little Knowledge...

 …can be a horrible, tragic thing.

Very recently, I was given some information that devastated me. It was something that had been briefly broached to me before, but then was brushed aside as it was unsubstantiated.

Unfortunately, I cannot go into detail about all that I now know is truth, as I wish to protect some parties involved. But I have discovered, once again, that just because a package is pretty on the outside, doesn't mean that what's inside isn't dark, disturbing and disgusting.

Since learning of this tangled situation, I haven't been able to get it out of my mind. Normally, I would give it to God and move forward. But this time I seem to be stuck in a time loop of terrible thoughts with my mind seemingly unable to process that what I now know is real. I know God has this. But if you know me at all, you know I'm a fixer. However, I can't fix this. I am certainly available to the innocent people involved, but there's only so much I can do in this situation without throat-punching the evil bastard responsible. And even if I did that: it doesn't erase what already happened. So Jesus, please take the wheel on this one; and let there be healing to repair all of the damage that has been done.

Amen. 

It's For A Good Cause!

 I was sitting on my sofa minding my own business (mistake #1) when Brie came home from work. "Guess what?" she said. "What?" "We're having a bake sale at work!" "Cool. What are you contributing?" "Your famous brownies."

I rolled my eyes. "Are you making my famous brownies?" "Well no. But because you're so smart and pretty and the bestiest baker ever, I figured that you would like to make them." Ugh. "Why me?" "Because it's for a good cause!"

It might have been for a good cause, but it wasn't my good cause. However, I begrudgingly said I would make them. "When do you need them?" "Not for a couple of weeks. I was volun-told that I needed to be on the committee so this will be my contribution." "Okay."

A week later, I was sitting on my sofa minding my own business (mistake #2) when Brie came home from work. "Have I told you lately how much I love you, and how pretty you look sitting there and oh so young?" she said, smiling sweetly at me. I gave her a look. "What?" "I have good news for you!" Now I was really suspicious. "What?" "Well, you no longer have to make your famous brownies." I sighed in relief. "Great! So what are you making instead?" "Um, your famous chocolate covered bacon!"

"Are you kidding me??? I'd rather make the brownies! Why did you mention the bacon?" She had the grace to look contrite. "It wasn't me, it was Becky! She was telling the big boss about how I had brought in some before, and it was so delicious, and he was like oh I've never even heard of that, who made it? and she was like Brie's mom Rita and so they decided that the chocolate covered bacon would be a big seller and it's for a good cause!"

Yes my chocolate covered bacon (it really is a thing) is wonderful and merges savory and sweet in the best way possible, but it's a pain to make. And to make enough for a bake sale? I glowered at my oldest daughter. "You soooo owe me!" "Thanks momma!! It will be the best thing at the bake sale! And remember: it's for a good cause." "Yeah, yeah."

I put it off for as long as I could, but by 9:00 pm Sunday night I knew I had to make that chocolate covered bacon for the next day before I fell asleep. It's a bit of a process and takes quite a while, especially when you're making enough for a bake sale and I don't use the pre-cooked bacon (I don't trust it)! However, it was for a good cause! So I had the oven going because that's how I cook my bacon. I had to monitor the bacon, make sure I had snack bags to divide it up into, make the chocolate dipping concoction. All with no help from the person on the committee who was currently on the sofa! 

Finally, around midnight, the luscious chocolate covered bacon was all laid out on sheets to harden overnight. I told Brie the least she could do would be to put it in the snack bags in the morning, which she graciously agreed to do 😒

Fast forward to mid-morning the next day. I hadn't heard from Brie so I emailed her. "Hey, how's the bake sale going? Did they like the bacon? Did it sell out fast?" After a few minutes I got this reply:

"Um...the bacon was the biggest hit! It didn't quite make it to the sale. I gave a snack bag to Becky, and then I couldn't leave out her boss. He loved it so I actually tried a piece, and it was soooo delicious! Then Laurel wanted to know what we were all eating so I gave her a bag too, along with Trevor. Long story short: it never left my team and we ate all of it!"

"WHAT???" I typed. "You said it was for the bake sale and a good cause!"

"It was, but they had enough stuff. Cookies and cupcakes and the like. Everyone on my team loved the bacon and said thank you and you're the best!"

So it looks like I slaved over a hot stove for the good cause of her and her greedy co-workers! Brie soooo owes me!

I Think This Could Happen

 Last night, the group Shinedown was at SPAC with Jellyroll opening. Brie was bummed that she couldn't go because her boyfriend had to work, and they had wanted to go together. As she was bemoaning the fact that she hadn't seen any concerts this year, I had to remind her of two things: 1) he took her to Hawaii for a week; and 2) she was going with me to see Chris Botti (hey, I needed someone to drive me to Troy!). As you can imagine, the second one didn't make her happy!

However, I am very happy. In case you didn't hear the screams of joy last month: I have secured second row seats to see jazz trumpeter extraordinaire Chris Botti in concert in October! Yes I have seen him before but I need to see him again! The first time I saw him, Kitty and I were at SPAC to see her favorite group Earth, Wind & Fire. Chris was the opening act. After his set, he was doing a free meet and greet and I hustled Kitty over so I could have him sign my CD. All was going well and I knew once he met me, he would realize we were meant to be. When it was my turn, he asked my name and chatted as he signed the CD. I was already trying out the name "Rita Botti" in my head. Then he got to Kitty and said, "How are you this evening?" to which she replied, "I'm here to see Earth, Wind & Fire". That was the dart that burst my dream balloon!

But now I have the chance to try it again! When I saw Maria Schneider at the Troy Music Hall, she did an impromptu meet and greet afterwards and signed my program. I'm pretty sure Chris will do the same. I can't wait!

As Brie and I were getting ready to leave for work this morning, I said to her, "Do you think Sting will be with Chris Botti when he does my favorite song?" "I really don't know mom." And then inspiration hit: if Sting couldn't make the concert to sing, maybe Chris Botti would invite me onstage to sing "It's Probably Me" with him! I could contact him via social and suggest it to him!

There was a slight look of alarm on Brie's face as we started walking down the hall. "Um...I don't know about that. You don't sing on stage." "But I sing solos at church and I'm part of the worship team so it's like the same thing! I'll show you." And I burst into an impromptu chorus from the song.

For some reason, Brie began walking faster. "Why are you walking so fast?" Then we got to the stairs and she fairly flew down all 30 of them. "Wait! How does it sound?" I asked, trying to catch up to her. I'll admit it: I don't quite know all the words and made some up, but I needed her to get the gist of how it would sound. And I may not have had the perfect key either, but still: "Picture it with the trumpet!"

She didn't even hold the downstairs door for me! I followed her to the parking lot and called, "What did you think??" I think I'm glad I didn't hear her answer!

Thankfully I have time to practice. You know: so I can be prepared just in case. Stranger things have happened. To paraphrase from the song: "If there's one girl, just one girl, Chris Botti should give a whirl, it's hard to say it, but I have to say it, it's probably me."  I believe this could happen! And admit it: Rita Botti has a really nice ring to it!