Favorite Aunt

When my children were young, they thought my sister was the best babysitter in the world.  I have to agree, because Robin was certainly the “fun aunt”.  She was good-natured; let them stay up late, played “G.L.O.W.” Wrestling with them, and generally went through a second childhood with them. 

She also had a great job that paid really well, and since she had no kids of her own, who were the recipients of her largesse?  That’s right: Brie and Kitty!  Any bigger ticket items that single mom Rita couldn’t afford, Aunt Robin was right there to supply it.  Granted, she didn’t buy any big-ticket items for Rita, but my daughters didn’t lack for anything.

However, she did have a couple of habits I didn’t care for.  One was her addiction to MTV.  This was the very early nineties: when they still actually showed music videos and had music shows like Headbanger’s Ball.  The problem with MTV was that even then, some of the videos weren’t geared towards children.  So I asked her to not watch it when the kids were around, and she agreed.

Now you know that no one can call you out like a child.  In all their innocence they don’t know that they’re telling something that you don’t want to be told.  When Brie mentioned Dangerous Toys, I thought she was talking about something on the Kay-Bee hazard list.  Then I over heard her on the phone mentioning this cute guy she’d seen in the video, and I knew Robin wasn’t respecting my wishes.  Which might not have been all that bad, until I actually saw the Dangerous Toys video and the guy was grabbing his crotch (way before Michael Jackson)!  Robin heard it from me that day!

I wanted her to watch her language too, because she could be a bit saucy, that sister of mine.  She swore (no pun intended!) up and down that she never used bad language around the girls, and I believed her.  After all, she loved my daughters like they were her own, and there were days when I wished they were!

One Spring Saturday I went shopping to pick up some groceries, and Robin was baby-sitting, as usual, much to the delight of Brie and Kitty.  I had told them if they were good I’d buy a treat for them and Aunt Robin.

When I returned I asked them if they’d behaved themselves and of course they said yes.  So I took out a package of Freihofer’s cupcakes, everyone’s favorites, and started to hand them out.  One for Brie, one for Kitty, and I was going to give one to Robin when Brie said, “Oh look, there’s an ant on the floor.”  At this, little four-year-old Kitty put her hands on her hips and said, “Damn fucking ants!”

I almost dropped the cupcakes.  “Where did you hear that?” I gasped.  Each daughter pointed a finger at Aunt Robin.  Needless to say, she did not get a cupcake!

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