Mother & Daughter

It's hard to describe how sad I was to hear of Debbie Reynolds' passing a day after her daughter, Carrie Fisher died. To have that kind of love for your child, no matter what the age, is amazing. I can understand it because I have seen it.

When the paramedics pronounced my sister dead, I saw my mother literally crumple into herself. I know she was wishing it had been her, or probably any of the rest of us, instead of Robin. My sister was the one child out of five that lived with my parents her entire life. She and my mother were hang out partners. After my father died Robin would sit in my mother's chair while Marie sat in my father's "throne". That's where I would always find them when I would go to their house.

Don't get me wrong: their relationship wasn't perfect. They were different people and each wished the other was more accepting. But they were very close and had the kind of mother / daughter relationship I wished I could have had with Marie. But that's another story for another day...maybe.

I have done everything possible for my mother (still) since Robin's passing. But the one thing I can't be is Robin. And that's what she wants. Someone who can take her daughter's place by her side all the time. What breaks my heart is the fact that she doesn't really want to be in her house alone. Yet she doesn't want to move directly across the street into my house with me so I can take care of her. Truth be told, I know why she wants to stay there so I have stopped asking her to do something she so obviously doesn't want to do. I know in my heart of hearts that my mother wants to die in that house. Her husband died there, her daughter died there, so she wants the same for herself.

I don't have to like it, but I do have to accept it. And I will. I just hope that God is merciful to her and mends her broken heart. That's pretty much all I can ask for her. Amen.