It's Almost That Time...

Today is Wednesday, June 27th, 2012.  You know what that means: 6 days until Kitty-palooza!  Yes, that time of year where her birthday is July 3rd, yet we seem to start celebrating several days before AND several days after! As a matter of fact: when I picked Kitty up from work last night, she got in the car and said, "Mom, guess what I did before my shift started? I walked all around the mall and took pictures of the things I want for my birthday!" Then she clicked on the photo gallery on her Droid Razr phone and showed me all of the items!  Seriously Kitty????

So here's the run-down on what's in store for Kitty-palooza 2012:

• Friday: dinner at the Outback.
• Saturday: seeing the Calico Dancers Indian troup at Moreau Rec.
• Saturday night: dinner with friends at Siam Thai Sushi, and I don't eat sushi (not my birthday).
• Sunday: Going to the movies to see "Brave".
• Monday: Build-a-bear workshop for a companion for Miss Piggy and Lady Baa Baa.
• Tuesday: her actual birthday with family dinner, cake and presents.
• Wednesday the 4th: cookout.

Then we skip to Saturday the 7th, when we go to Glen Lake for Lisa and Tim's annual blowout featuring great food, fun and fireworks!  We'll bring a cake there like we always do for Kitty's birthday,along with my famous pasta salad.

So there it is, and I'm tired but I'd better gear up for this.  After all, what would summer be without Kitty calling all the shots for a week???  I'll let you know how we all fared after all the celebrating's complete!

Wardrobe Malfunction

A few years ago I had a year that was quite stressful for me.  I found myself constantly on edge and occasionally suffering from shortness of breath.  Since I have a pre-existing condition, I decided to call good old Dr. Bob to get things checked out.  After a routine exam, it was decided that I should go to a cardiologist and have a “stress test”.  In the meantime, I was written out of work for 2 ½ weeks as a preventative measure.  Thanks Dr. Bob!

I’ve had a stress test before so I wasn’t worried about it.  Prior to the appointment I was given a two-page list of dos and don’ts, and they weren’t too alarming.  I figured it would be a easy, especially since I had done so well with the spinning classes before!  I was more than ready for a mere walk on a treadmill.

The morning of the test I dressed in my cute little workout Capri’s, a v-necked tee shirt, Joe Boxer socks and sneakers.  I figured this way they could attach the electrodes to whatever wasn’t covered up by clothes.   I was ready for this little workout!  However, when I arrived and was ushered into the room with the treadmill, they told me to undress from the waist up.  Why?  There was room for the electrodes under my shirt and down the low neckline.  But they said no and made me take it off, plus my foundation garment!  “Here,” the first nurse said, handing me a paper garment.  “You can cover up with this smock top.”

They left the room; I removed my clothing from the waist up and put on the smock.  Hmm, what was wrong with this picture?  First of all, I’m tall, 5’10” without shoes.  Second, being on the northern side of 40, gravity has a greater hold on certain parts of the anatomy which naturally makes them face a more…southerly direction.  To sum it up, even with the front of the smock drawn closed, my “naughty bits” were peeking from beneath the smock!  If I hadn’t been so mortified, I probably would have laughed.  But this was no laughing matter!

The nurse returned and asked if I was ready. “Are you kidding?”  I asked.  “Hello, I think I need a little more coverage, thank you very much!”

“Hmm, I see what you mean,” she said, and then she helpfully took something that I can only describe as a blue cape-like garment and put it around my shoulders, tying it around my neck.  That was her solution. 

So now not only can you see a bit of the twins, but I looked like a demented superhero with the cape.  However, as she pointed out, once I was on the treadmill, they wouldn’t be able to see anything because the sides were covered up.  Well that was good news, wasn’t it?

Actually the good news was everything turned out all right: I just needed to R-E-L-A-X and learn to destress before it did turn into something.  But seriously: I figured I'd destress AFTER I was able to put my clothes back on!

Topless TV

This is one of Brie's favorite stories from a LONG time ago!

I was at work staring out the window, which took some doing since I didn’t sit anywhere near a window.  I was wishing that I could go home early because I had finished the project I was working on and didn’t want to start another one that day.  Then my phone rang.

“Ohhh, I’m so sick,” moaned a voice on the phone.

“Who is this?” I asked, suspiciously.

“Mommy, it’s me and I don’t feel good.  Hold on.”  I was sorry I had when I heard the sounds of Brie puking.  “Come home, I need you.”

“Need me for what?  You’re eighteen; what can I do?”

“I just need you.  Come home!”  Puke.

“Yuck!  Okay, I’ll be there in half an hour.”

I had wanted to go home early, but not to hold her hand while she threw up!  I should have been more specific when I made my wish!  However, being the good mother that I was, I went home to tend to her.

Wouldn’t you know it?  She was asleep on the couch and didn’t need me!  At least she wasn’t puking or crying, thank goodness.  I’d start dinner early.  It was a warm late spring afternoon, and as I took off my work clothes I decided, since Brie was asleep and I could hear Kitty watching TV in their room, that I wouldn’t need to get dressed right away.  I also decided to make a family favorite for dinner: Shanghai Beef.  I needed to cut some beef into cubes, and Ricki Lake was on, so I thought I would just do it in the living room.  I pulled a kitchen chair into the doorway of the living room, next to the couch where Brie was sleeping, got a plate with the beef, a steak knife and fork, turned on the TV and commenced to cutting.

Of course, Binky (our other cat at the time) and Luna were milling about: curious as to what “mom” was doing.  Either that or wondering what I was doing without my shirt and pants on!  But I didn’t pay too much attention to them because I was too engrossed in what was happening with Ricki’s guests.

Luna, nimble kitten that she was, jumped up on the side of my chair to investigate.  Apparently I wasn’t doing anything too interesting because she jumped right back down.  Then, as a guest screamed at her boyfriend for cheating on her, I felt this piercing pain in my side.  Yelping, I looked and saw clumsy Binky hanging by a claw dug into my side!  I moved the plate to my left hand so I could unhook the kitten.  The plate landed right underneath poor Brie’s nose; she inhaled, sat up, and puked!  Then she started crying because she had finally gotten comfortable enough to sleep, and the smell of the “bloody raw meat” woke her up and started her throwing up again.  She didn’t even care that Binky was dangling like a little klingon from my side!

Is there ever any sympathy for mom?  Nope!  So the motto was not to cut up meat in your underwear; OR not to have bloody meat where Brie can smell it!  😏