Standing Room Only

This happened several years ago. As you know, I really love my daughters.  But they are as different as night and day.  I wanted to do something special with each of them: give them a special day where they could have mom all to themselves.  Kitty chose an event that turned out to be a very simple undertaking: she wanted to see a musical.  As luck would have it, State Farm Activities was selling tickets to see Avenue Q at Proctor’s.  So I signed up, gave them a check, they had our tickets at the will-call window, we had a nice little lunch, and saw the show.  Simple; and fabulous! 

Ah, not quite so simple with my oldest, Her Royal Highness Princess Brie.  Since she had a birthday coming up, she decided that she wanted tickets to WWE Smackdown. 

Even though this may sound kind of bizarre, it really wasn’t.  And I now have a confession to make: my name is Rita Debnam and I am a wrestling groupie.  That’s right: once she moved back home, Brie turned me on to the soap opera that is the WWE.  I can tell you names, I can re-tell scenarios, I can name each wrestler’s signature move…well, the good-looking ones, anyway!  We watch Monday Night RAW and Friday Night Smackdown: and all the big shows like the Royal Rumble and WrestleMania, of course!  I’m not delusional enough to think it’s all real, but I have to admit that it is entertaining.

But back to my story: Smackdown hadn’t been to Glens Falls in almost 3 years; not that I would have wanted to go back then because I wasn’t watching it.  With it playing right in my backyard though: I was all over it!  I vowed to Brie that I would indeed get tickets for her and I; and they’d be front row tickets at that! 

That decision was made in December.  Since I am always trying to be mother of the year, I knew I would have to get up and be in line early to ensure our front row seats.  I was ready! 

Of course, I hadn’t anticipated that the day before the ticket sales my hot water pipe would freeze.  I also hadn’t known that the actual sale day would be the coldest Saturday since 1968 either!  But still I got up early, took the world’s fastest cold shower, brushed my teeth, dressed in sneakers, 2 pairs of socks, tights, jeans, a thermal, a hoodie, my long wool winter coat, chenille gloves, a bandanna and a wool cap, heated up my car and drove the short distance to the Glens Falls Civic Center.  I figured I would sit in my car with the heat on until I saw people get in line and then I’d run screaming for the ticket counter. 

Imagine my surprise when I got there, and saw no one in line.  Granted, it was only 7:22 (2.5 hours before the window would open), and yes it was 12 below, but still it’s Smackdown!  However, my Spidey senses were tingling so I got out of my car and went to the door.  I saw people inside so I went inside too.  I saw a friend of mine and she said they were letting people in to wait since it was so cold outside.  Hooray!  She pointed to where the others were, told me there were only a couple of people in line and wished me good luck with my front row endeavor. 

I went around the corner and couldn’t believe my luck: there were only 6 people in line ahead of me!  I was a shoo-in for front row!  So I took my place in line and commenced to waiting.  That was the good news.  The not so good news was the gentleman directly in front of me.

Let’s call him Mr. Jocularity.  He was with his son, who he kept calling “bud”.  And he talked.  And talked.  And talked.  Every few minutes he would announce the time and how many more minutes until the tickets went on sale.  The really bad news was it was immediately obvious to me that this man had just rolled out of bed, gotten dressed and brought his kid over to wait in line with him.  I’m sure I don’t have to paint you a picture, but all I kept thinking was, “Hmm, I don’t even have any hot water yet I managed to shower and especially brush my teeth!”  The fact that he kept going out for a smoke definitely didn’t help the situation at all!

However, even with the invisible cloud of funk hovering over the line, I stood my ground. This was too important to Brie for me to surrender to my olfactory senses. I just backed up the best I could and kept my face turned away. Seriously: the things I do for my kids! 

I was getting tired of standing but thankfully: they decided to open the window early since we were there early. Hooray! Thank you Civic Center! And yes: we got front row center 😀 I just hoped for one of two things: 1) Mr. Jocularity wouldn't be seated anywhere near us; or 2) he would shower and brush his teeth beforehand!

The Joke's on Me!

 If you've been reading my blog for awhile, you know how much I dislike the Jardiance commercials. That poor woman being made to change into that bright yellow dress with the big flowers, the awkward fountain dancing: all to extol the virtues of a little pill with a big story to tell. Homegirl was in two commercials, and I knew a third one was coming...

It did: but now there was a different woman. This one was in an office setting, singing about the medication. The dancing was more sedate, but the commercial as a whole annoyed me as the office seemed a little incompetent. There was a man who couldn't figure out why the printer wasn't working: so the woman went to the wall and plugged it in. Success! Then lunch was delivered and she handed out the boxes: and then the employees had to exchange them because she had given each of them the wrong one. Seriously? Did she work for Dunder-Mifflin? Thankfully, the commercial comes to its anti-climactic conclusion with the dancing and "the little pill with the big story to tell" tagline. 

Just when you thought that was the end: it wasn't! Now we have something new: a man telling the story. He will bring the masculine energy to the commercial. Or will he? He is dancing and singing primarily in his yard and it seems to be a gardening / horticulture type atmosphere. Still singing and dancing but with plants involved. By this time I'm just over it, and I'm hoping Jardiance is too.

No they aren't! For the fifth commercial, we're back and this time with an older woman of color. She brings a more soulful R&B vibe to the commercial as she sings and dances her way through the grocery store with her family. It's the cleanest grocery store on Earth, and as she goes through departments the employees dance to her soulful and harmonious song. Seriously: just stop.

With that being said, I have certainly voiced my disdain for these commercials. And then the unthinkable happened...

All it took was a recent visit to my nephrologist, whom I love. He said he had to take me off of one medication, and the safest thing to replace it with was...JARDIANCE! Ahhhhhhh!!!! Say it ain't so!

That's right, the joke is on ME. Because of my vocal dislike: now I have to take it! Anyone who thinks that God doesn't have a sense of humor is mistaken. So when the sixth commercial comes around (and you know it will!) take a good look because the lady in it with the mad face will probably be me. 😠 

Make Me a Salad

 While doing another email sweep, I came across an email from 2018 that had a document attached. It turned out that it was the beginning of a blog post that I hadn't finished. So I just finished it to the best of my recollection!

One day after Kitty and I had our doctor appointments, we went food shopping. We had already ascertained that we wanted to improve our eating habits, so there was no time like the present. Especially for me, since according to Kitty I weighed somewhere between 338 - 558 pounds (so not true)! She wanted to add salad to her diet which I thought was a good idea. You can never have too many fresh vegetables!

At the supermarket we went to the produce aisle first, where she picked out what she wanted. In the interest of cost-saving measures (for me!), I asked her if she wanted the salad in a bag. "No, I like to pick out my own stuff," she said. Okay then!

As we made our way through the store, we reached the frozen food section. Ooh, my favorite ice cream was on sale! I started to get a quart of my Starbucks Coffee Almond Fudge; then I noticed the disapproving look on Kitty's face. "What?" I said. "Mom, do you need that ice cream?" "Yes." "No you don't. Put it back." "Why?" "Because you weigh 338 pounds." "Kitty no I don't!" What was it going to take for her to realize that was not my weight she misread on my chart at the doctor's office? But I huffed and puffed and put it back.

Then: she put a pint of Ben & Jerry's in the cart! "What's up with that? We're supposed to be dieting!" "But I don't weigh as much as you so I can have it for a treat." I can't make this stuff up! And what prevented me from running her over with the cart, I'll never know 😠

When we got home and unpacked the groceries, Kitty noticed that I  had bought a package of ham cubes. "Why did you buy those?" she questioned. "To put in my Southwestern soup. I think it will be good." "You know, you can also put it in a salad to make a chef salad. Maybe I'll do that." "I thought you didn't like ham?" I questioned. "I'll just try it."

So I made my spicy soup with cheese and the ham cubes, but contrary to what I believed: the ham didn't work as well as chicken usually did. When I saw Kitty's salad creation it looked wonderful! She had lettuce, tomato, cucumber, chopped ham cubes, shredded cheese and hard-boiled egg topped with Hidden Valley Ranch Dressing, the 'best salad dressing in the world'! "That looks really good honey. Can mom have a bite?" She hesitated, but then was kind enough to let me taste her salad. It was delicious! "Hmm, I'll have to have you make me a salad next time. It's very tasty!" She gave me a look but continued eating.

I knew exactly what that look meant. If I wanted a chef salad: mama would be making it herself! Sheesh: and after I bought all of her salad fixings for her! Well that's fine. Next time I go grocery shopping I'm buying my own salad stuff. AND my Starbucks Coffee Almond Fudge ice cream! That'll show her 😁 

Jennie-O No!!

 Thanksgiving is well in the rearview mirror but I have to speak about this. It's about my Thanksgiving turkey.

I always get a Butterball (if it's on sale) or Shady Brook. They are nice, plump, round, flavorful and juicy. And they were on sale! However, by the time I got to my local supermarket they were all gone. Thankfully, they had a substitute for the same price: Jennie-O. I had heard of Jennie-O poultry so I figured I'd give it a try. I only needed a small turkey and after much frozen digging, I found the smallest one which was 11 pounds. I put it in my shopping cart and went happily on my way.

The problem started when I put it on the shopping belt. It didn't 'stand' flat, but seemed to lean to the side. I propped it up: it leaned again. Well it had to be because it was frozen. (famous last words) So I kept it in the car until I was ready to move it to the refrigerator to thaw. 

Thanksgiving morning I took out my roaster, placed it on the stove, and got thawed Miss Jennie-O out of the fridge and put her in the sink. Started my water, cut her out of her packaging and...stared. Something was odd about this turkey. She was...kind of skinny. The skin seemed...odd and loose, like she'd been dieting and lost alot of weight. I picked up a corner of the skin and there was no fat! Someone had taken all of the delicious, flavorful fat and plumpness away, then laid the skin back down! My turkey looked like it had been doing aerobic training! I looked at the packaging: in essence it said that Jennie-O is low fat, healthy turkey. That isn't what I wanted! I wanted fat, plump turkey! That's why the poor thing was leaning: there was no fat to hold it up! Oh dear. She had a pop-up timer but it was barely holding on because the turkey was so lean. Ugh.

Trying to hold on to some optimism, I stuffed her, seasoned her and put her in the oven: still leaning. I hoped for the best!

Unfortunately, hope did not spring eternal. Once she was done roasting, Miss Jennie looked like an old lady who had spent too much time in the tanning booth. Yet I still sliced her and served her -

And found out that even the dogs didn't like her. We always fix them a Thanksgiving dinner plate, but Vivian refused to touch the turkey and ate around it. Lilly gave it the old college try, but left some on her plate which was a first. I couldn't eat it because leanness = dryness. Even my delicious homemade gravy couldn't save her.  I was going to save the carcass for turkey soup but then I figured why bother? So a day or two later what was left of Miss Jennie was discarded.

Here is my takeaway: don't buy a turkey you're unfamiliar with just because it's on sale. Plan ahead and get your Butterball or Shady Brook early! Otherwise you'll be stuck with the turkey with the gym membership. And after this: we'll be having HAM for Christmas!

My Late Birthday Gift to Myself

 There were times when I thought about discontinuing my blog. Sometimes I get tired, or discouraged, or think what I write isn't important or impressive enough. Yet I keep going because writing is such an ingrained and integral part of my life. Plus I like sharing with people, because you just never know when something you write resonates with someone, or makes an impact on their life. I haven't monetized my blog so you know I'm not writing it to become rich, haha! And I like making people feel good, or think, or laugh out loud.

As I kept writing, I set goals for myself. Before I knew it (re: after 11 years!) I had reached 30,000 reads. Not followers, mind you (wouldn't that be amazing!). But as long as there were readers: they didn't have to follow. Just keep reading!

I was thrilled that it only took a year and a half to reach an additional 10,000 reads, bringing the total to 40,000 on March 18, 2024. That really inspired me. How long would it take to reach 50,000 reads? Could I garner that many in less than 18 months?

YOU BET!! I was secretly hoping by my birthday in November; however, on December 2nd I hit that magic number. I couldn't believe it! It was like a late gift to myself. 10,000 reads in eight and half months. That is a personal best for me; and it's thanks to YOU!

Trust me when I say I am not bragging. It just warms me through and through to know that people are out there reading, and hopefully enjoying my blog. The love I feel from my readers is what keeps me going with the family stories, outrageous happenings and quiet moments. It does not make me want to write more poetry though!

Readers in Hong Kong and Singapore are the ones that put me over the 50,000 mark on December 2nd. A big shout out to those readers! So to all of my friends, known and unknown, near and far: thank you so much for your faithfulness and enjoyment of my stories. And feel free to holla at your girl! 😘

SURPRISE!!!

 November 16th was both Marie and Clancy's birthday. Yes: he's the gift that keeps on giving, haha! Brie said that even though it wasn't a milestone, he should have a party. I knew I wanted to get him a Texas Roadhouse gift card since he had never been there; and he could take his new girlfriend. Brie volunteered to take care of the arrangements, and I was pleased with that. Less for me to do! But to be polite, I did ask her if she needed any help, and she only wanted food recommendations which I was happy to provide. She said that since he was a member of the local Eagles Club, she would see about having it there. It was a go!

She then decided that the party should have a 70's theme, since he was born in the 70's. Okay then! My mind immediately went to disco, but she said just 70's, like hippie stuff. So she and I ordered fringed vests that came with appropriate jewelry like a peace sign necklace, dangly feathered earrings, a headband and bracelets. Groovy baby! Of course Kitty already had this great pair of psychedelic pink bell bottoms in her wardrobe (can't make this up) and headbands and a peace sign necklace. She also decided to bring her stuffed Cheetah Sunni along, and Sunni was appropriately dressed in a denim vest, peace sign necklace and headband. Brie left to finish up last minute things and I said I'd bring Kitty with me and we'd get there in time to yell "Surprise!"

I pulled into the Eagles' parking lot a couple of minutes before 5 and told Kitty to go in. I signed Clancy's card and included the gift card: thinking how he was going to love it! Then I headed inside.

I walked into the decorated room and the people there shouted "Surprise!" I looked around and asked, "Where's Clancy?" to which they replied, "This is YOUR surprise party!" I'm sure my mouth dropped open and then I started laughing. Clancy came up to me and said, "Happy birthday!" I handed him the card and said, "Happy birthday to you since it's actually YOUR birthday!" He had gotten me a beautiful arrangement of red and white carnations. They are absolutely gorgeous! Having a new girlfriend is having a positive effect on him 😊

So the joke was on me that evening. There was so much food, the cake was HUGE; and the room had people there that I hadn't seen in  years, and those that are so special to me. People from State Farm, people from where I work now, and people that are just special to me in their own ways. I have much love for them and am so appreciative of the fact that they thought enough of me to come.

According to Kitty the only downside was there wasn't a mirror ball. But there were balloons, which I really enjoy because I'm a kid at heart. You know I took them home!

It was so nice to socialize as I did table-hopping so I could talk to everybody. I did finally eat, but not as much as I normally would have because I was talking to people and wanted to be sure I had room for the dark chocolate cake with chocolate mousse filling and buttercream frosting. YUM! Probably the worst part of the evening was trying to pack up everything to take home! But between Brie's car and her friend Mikayla's SUV: we did it. Teamwork makes the dream work 😉

Today is my actual birthday. Here is a picture of the cake, which was delicious and like 8 inches tall. 

And here's a new picture of me. I'm so thankful that God still has me here for many reasons! I praise His holy name. 💗

Behind the Music: He Hit Me (And it Felt Like a Kiss)

 I was minding my own business, reading an online article in Rolling Stone. It was a list of the 50 best SNL music performances.  Number 29 on the list was a song called 'Violet' by Hole from around 1994. My daughters and sister really liked Courtney Love's music, while I wasn't a fan. Anyway, I'm reading the blurb about the performance and it ends with this sentence: "Ever the provocateur, she capped off Hole's performance of a song about sex and power and violence with a snatch of the Crystals' notorious 1962 single "He Hit Me (And It Felt Like a Kiss)." That stopped me in my tracks.

I knew I was reading it correctly but what the heck kind of song was that? The story behind the song in no way, shape or form endorses or glorifies abusive relationships. It gives you a glimpse into the mind of a young girl. I had to go to YouTube to give a listen (I do not own the rights to this song nor do I profit from it):

He hit me and it felt like a kiss

He hit me but it didn't hurt me

He couldn't stand to hear me say

That I'd been with someone new

And when I told him I had been untrue

He hit me (da da da ah) and it felt like a kiss

He hit me (da da da ah) and I knew he loved me

If he didn't care for me,

I could have never made him mad

But he hit me (da da da ah) and I was glad.

So there's more to this than meets the eye. It appears that she cheated on him which is why he hit her. But she thinks it's a sign of love. He wouldn't have been mad if he didn't care, right?

Yes, he hit me (da da da ah) and it felt like a kiss

He hit me (da da da ah) and I knew I loved him

And then, he took me in his arms

With all the tenderness there is

And when he kissed me (da da da ah), he made me his

(Da da da)

Yikes, right?

This song was written by Gerry Goffin and Carole King. They wrote it when they found out that their babysitter, Little Eva (Boyd, of 'Locomotion' fame) was being abused by her boyfriend. When they asked her why she put up with that abuse, she said his actions were done out of love.

If you listen to the song (and I hope you do) you will notice that it sounds kind of whimsical and young girlish. This song is about falling in love with the wrong person, being so blinded by infatuation that you submit to their abuse, and thinking that it's done out of love. Yep: the girl in this song is living in a fantasy world where if the guy didn't care about you, they wouldn't be mad and hit you. Sheesh.

It's amazing what you can find out about songs if you dig deep enough. But I'll tell you one thing: in my own situation, that wasn't what it felt like. And as you can imagine: that song did NOT get a lot of radio airplay. Too controversial. I think they made the right choice.